Men confuse me

[littlebumblebee]

I have an inquiry about the male gender. I am an attractive female and since I've been dating my boyfriend (of many years) I have noticed the pattern that each of his best buddies at different points in time have all made passes at me, or expressed interest either verbally or with physical signals.

Now, I would like to know why guys do that? I would never do that to one of my best girlfriends! Don't get me wrong it is funny and flattering but seriously.

Anyways, the **** hit the fan when I found myself attracted to one of these guys. Bad news. Even his girlfriend at the time told me she thought he was in love with me, yikes!Anyways, I asked him what his intentions were and he denies everything! Granted, when he verbally expressed his interest to me we had been drinking and flirting back and forth, but then its like deny deny deny! Its quite an uncomfortable situation, why do guys have to show interest and screw up things? More importantly, why do ppl become more attractive once you find out they have a thing for you?

 

[christz]

i think you suffer from givemeattentionitus

 

[jprjrjr]

You're basically a ho, trying to come on here looking to justify your behavior...Talk to Puerto Rican lover...

 

[gruby]

No, she's not. She's attracted to more hen one guy - big deal. Don't lead him on unless you want to sex him though. Oh yeah, and don't tell you bf, if possible keep it a secret.

 

[littlebumblebee]

thanks gruby

thanks gruby for understanding.
fact is, all those who post rude comments judge me but you are infact judging yourselves. I dont think I am in a very bizzare or terrible situation, Im sure many ppl have had this problem. I havent cheated, I havent done anything except seek a males perspective. If I was a guy you'd be telling me to get as much ass as possible. If you were me, you'd be trying to get as much ass as possible. Im not, Im just asking for advice.

 

[BootsOfEscaping]

Issues like this make me not trust women. Do any of them actually NOT cheat??

 

[I-am-someone]

Yeah, the ugly ones...

But seriously littlebumblebee, it's okay to have conversations with guys, it's even okay to flirt with them as long as you make clear to them you will NEVER have sex with them. The second a guy moves past that, you tell him you just want to be friends.
Realize that if you do cheat on your guy, you're going to regret it for a long time

 

[BootsOfEscaping]

If I found out any of my friends were trying to mack on my girl they would get a beat down like they have never seen. Luckily my friends all know and respect that rule. I wouldn't do that to my friends girls. I have had my friends girls tell me I have a nice ass and so on. Its a nice compliment but I wouldn't want my girl saying that to other men, especially my friends. Flirting is fine but furthur than that is just wrong.

 

[thefonz]

sounds like she's losign interest in her boyfriend......bumblebee, don't be a slut and go around cheating on your boyfriend....show some balls and break up with him first if you wanna go hit other guys

P.S - You probably shoulda taken this to the Don Juanitas forum.....we're men

 

[cactus3178]

First and foremost, guys are horny. It doesn't matter if he's got a wife, GF, whatever...a guy's still gonna think about what the hot blond down the street's boobs look like. Or how much fun the secretary at work would be in bed.

But, if he's got a GF, he won't ever act on it (if he's worth anything)

WTF, you can't possibly tell me girls don't think in a similar way.

Anyhow, about your thing, if your attracted to another guy besides your BF, you need to ask yourself if you really want to be in a relationship to begin with. If things were going well, you wouldn't be attracted to someone else, right?

If his buddies hit on you, you need to set them straight. That's bullsh*t for them to do that. If I was your BF, I'd sure as hell want to know. Not so I could start sh*t -that's childish- but so I'd know who not to trust.

It's up to you really. It's the whole 'look but don't touch' (or otherwise act on it) thing. IMO, if your in a relationship at all, don't cheat. No exceptions. If you want to f*ck somebody else, break up first. It's easy.

Oh - and if your single, go f*ck all you want.

/.02

 

[Ice Cold]

Originally posted by littlebumblebee
Now, I would like to know why guys do that?

It's called ass, boobs and curves. Makes us weak in everything but one part of the body.

I would never do that to one of my best girlfriends!

But your girlfriends would.

Anyways, the **** hit the fan when I found myself attracted to one of these guys. Bad news. Even his girlfriend at the time told me she thought he was in love with me, yikes!

Why yuikes? Guys like you. You're attractive.

Anyways, I asked him what his intentions were and he denies everything!

Well of course. He's a big pvssy,afraid of rejection and having second thoughts about screwing his best bud.

Granted, when he verbally expressed his interest to me we had been drinking and flirting back and forth, but then its like deny deny deny!

People inhibitons lower when they drink. So they tell you what they think. When they are sober, stuff like "morals" and insecurities come into play...

Its quite an uncomfortable situation, why do guys have to show interest and screw up things?

Cause he wants to taste your candy.

More importantly, why do ppl become more attractive once you find out they have a thing for you?

We like people who like us. When we know they like us, it makes them more attractive, because we know we won't get rejected if we talk to them about things. It's evolutionarry beneficial to form symbiotic relationships too.

You have several options here:
1) "LJBF" the guy and tell him it's a no go.
2) Break up and switch boyfriends.
3) Play the fools, and make them your personal b1tches. Make them compete for your attention with fights, gifts and services.

As you see, having multiple suitors is nice.

Good luck and play smart.

 

[NewMan]

Tell ya BF to get some new friends.


Listen - if this was a drunken exchange - then you can pretty much rule it out.

Anything said while under the influence should be ignored.

I've told friends that their GF was hot. There's nothing wrong with that. When it's done behind peoples back - then there is a problem.

You however are taking this to the extreme. It's not your BF friend that has the problem it you.

You have lost interest - and that's why you are posting the question.

Your BF friend will not go near you if he is any kind of a true man. Boy's before Ho's.

If he would fvck you, then you can gurantee he would fvck anything that moved. He would have zero regard for his friend - he will have zero regard for anyone.

You should not take the fact that a guy want's to fvck you as a sign of true interest - or the fact that he wants to be with you. He wants to fvck you. End of story.

 

[Jon E]

Originally posted by littlebumblebee
More importantly, why do ppl become more attractive once you find out they have a thing for you?

That's interesting, its a psychological phenomenon called "reciprocity" and it happens to everyone, but why don't you elaborate more on that in your own words? How attractive was he before and how much more attractive did he become?

 

[littlebumblebee]

to Jon E

Jon E
At first I didnt like him at all. I hated whenever he came around, he was an annoyence. I actually told him to get lost for awhile so i could have time with my BF hah. But anyways, my BF told me that his friend thought I was gorgeous and defended me when my BF was admiring other girls when I wasnt around lol. Then I thought he was an okay guy. Then a group of us would hang out and I got to know him and we became close. Then I found out from the guys gf at the time that he had a thing for me. Maybe thats what turned my head a little, it was perhaps a naughty thing and therefore arousing? That and a person I hated stuck up for me, thats kinda hot.

 

[cave dweller]

jerking..........

little bee,

So, quit 'jerking' people around....dump your bf and start dating this 'dude'. (since he is so hot and he is ' Mr. Wonderful ')

BTW, you may discover that ' Mr. Wonderful ' ain't so damn wonderful.

cave dweller

 

[littlebumblebee]

holy ppl... im not dumping anyone and going after someone else. you guys are so bitter. all i wanted was insight into the male brain. like im going to go ask this guy any of this! haha thats why i thought i could post it here but everyones so judgemental. well, not everyone.. ive had some nice insightful posts as well that i really appreciate. Its interesting to see the kinds of responses on here.

there will be no dumping no cheating or anything like that

 

[cave dweller]

eyes.........

little bee,

Hold it now.........

Listen to what you are telling uis here...........

You have a bf, but, you are flirting and playing 'goo, goo eyes' with one of his friends?

cave dweller

 

[littlebumblebee]

so if i have a boyfriend im .. what.. dead? i cant find anyone else attractive? well i know thats not true, i would just have to glance at this sites discussion forums to discover that men talk about doing the very same thing everyday. hmmm.. why is it okay for men and not for women?

 

[littlebumblebee]

perhaps i should add that my b/f and i had broken up with me for a period of 3 months and thats when all this happened. so if i need to throw in that loop hole i can.

 

[Julian]

post pics