"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Mellowing as i age

Blues

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I've hit the big 30 and im starting to notice pretty huge changes in the way i view life and relationships

Back in my 20s, i was this bad tempered ass who would argue about every small thing with my gfs. Looking back at the things i said and did, its really stupid. Lost the one girl which i think i really had feelings for bacause of my temper. Nowadays, im just too lazy to get into an arguement. I agree to disagree, live and let live. I think i've taken a more laid back view to life.

Even with women, i think i have mellowed much. No longer am i on the prowl to hit on every chick when i'm out. I rather enjoy the company of my close friends. Of cos, i still do check out women but thats about it. Even girls which i've seen for a couple of years say that i'm more quiet these days.

Im not too sure if this is a good thing being too mellow when it comes to women. I used to be able to date 3-4 women in a week, now im finding hanging out with one too time consuming. And i was also big on seduction techniques like EV, stories, qualifying, and all that jazz.

I don't expect the women to do a man's job when it comes to dating. Like approaching, initiating, etc..But i do expect her to be engaging and interesting to talk to.

Would like to know from you guys if being mellow would hurt my game with women?

And what seduction 'techniques' do you still keep in your arsenal when you hit the 30s?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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BADA-BING

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Hey I realize that I am not in my thirties but I am getting close. I have found that the older I have gotten I have "mellowed" slightly. For intance I have become much more indifferent about stupid things and I let more roll off my back so to speak when it concerns women. example: I don't get jealous like I used too, I don't take things so personally anymore. Those things have helped in many ways and more that I may not even know about because of my apathy. I don't take my indifference to any extreme by any means, I am a man and I still have and express emotions.

I find myself looking for more quality versus quantity as I age.

So I guess my answer is "no" to your question about "being mellow", I don't think it will hurt your game so to speak. I wouldn't mellow too much though, then you just get boring and slow like my grandpa in his walker...squeeky squeeky.........
 

squirrels

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What do you WANT?

I mean, what are you looking for? Is that the truth, that you don't want to waste your time with a woman who's not socially and intellectually engaging? Or are you using that as an ego cover-up to hide the fact that you still wanna f*ck?

If the former, then you needn't even ask the question...life is good with the higher-quality, lower-quantity of women that you're pulling. Are you pulling those high-quality women?

If the latter, then stop bullsh!tting yourself.
 

joekerr31

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youth is about ego. its about proving you have value. even if only on a subconscious level, 99% of "young" people are trying to figure out what their value in the world is.

when you hit your 30s you realize that the world is a BIG place, that most people dont care about you in the least and that concerning yourself with what others think is a pointless endeavor. everyone is way too busy making a living when they hit their 30s to really care about pop / media culture that saturates the youth.

your 30s is when you STOP trying to prove anything to yourself or anyone else and start to simply ENJOY life.

i've said it before and ill say it again. getting older is AWESOME - assuming that you mature as you get older. many 40 year olds have the maturity of an 18 year old - some are no better than a spoiled bratty 18 year old - i pity those folks.
 

realsmoothie

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Like I've said a few times on this forum...

...the best day of my life was the day I turned 30.

No question.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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st_99

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"I don't get jealous like I used too, I don't take things so personally anymore."

I couldn't agree more with this statement. Experience that comes with age defentitly does something to us... for the better.
 

st_99

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realsmoothie said:
Like I've said a few times on this forum...

...the best day of my life was the day I turned 30.

No question.
Completely agree with this to... its sooo much better these days.
 

edmond

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Blues said:
I've hit the big 30 and im starting to notice pretty huge changes in the way i view life and relationships

Back in my 20s, i was this bad tempered ass who would argue about every small thing with my gfs. Looking back at the things i said and did, its really stupid. Lost the one girl which i think i really had feelings for bacause of my temper. Nowadays, im just too lazy to get into an arguement. I agree to disagree, live and let live. I think i've taken a more laid back view to life.

Even with women, i think i have mellowed much. No longer am i on the prowl to hit on every chick when i'm out. I rather enjoy the company of my close friends. Of cos, i still do check out women but thats about it. Even girls which i've seen for a couple of years say that i'm more quiet these days.

Im not too sure if this is a good thing being too mellow when it comes to women. I used to be able to date 3-4 women in a week, now im finding hanging out with one too time consuming. And i was also big on seduction techniques like EV, stories, qualifying, and all that jazz.

I don't expect the women to do a man's job when it comes to dating. Like approaching, initiating, etc..But i do expect her to be engaging and interesting to talk to.

Would like to know from you guys if being mellow would hurt my game with women?

And what seduction 'techniques' do you still keep in your arsenal when you hit the 30s?
You DO NOT need ANY advice, you are doing a fantastic job.
Like you about 30 I got fed up of all their BS games and now spend most of my time doing stuff for my self, new clothes, cycle, swim, etc....
If I have a woman in my life or not, it's no big deal.

Great post.
 

Vulpine

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Blues said:
And what seduction 'techniques' do you still keep in your arsenal when you hit the 30s?
The biggest one... THE biggest one in my arsenal is "indifference".

I go out to have fun, and I just don't care if a chick is flakey, bitjy, seedy, whatever. Women don't concern me nearly as much as they used to. It's the best 'technique' I could use. The power to walk away unaffected is supreme power indeed.
 

edmond

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Vulpine said:
The biggest one... THE biggest one in my arsenal is "indifference".

I go out to have fun, and I just don't care if a chick is flakey, bitjy, seedy, whatever. Women don't concern me nearly as much as they used to. It's the best 'technique' I could use. The power to walk away unaffected is supreme power indeed.
Great advice :up: .
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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New_Alex_2000

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realsmoothie said:
Like I've said a few times on this forum...

...the best day of my life was the day I turned 30.

No question.
Yes guys. Women prefer this age and above. Keep yourself young at hurt and in good shape and you will never miss a thing....

WOMEN LIKE OLDER MEN. It is socially acceptable, and to be a man you have to be AT LEAST 30yo.


Alex
 

SoulStarMan

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you know what... something I'm seeing a lot of around the net on forums and the like is that...

30 is the new 20.
Cool beans
 

TheMainMan

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Mellowing is great.

I've hit 28 and I definately don't get as agressive as I once did.

Also I think mellowing out is good for a man. Young guys are always trying to 'prove' themselves to others, particularly women and this comes off as being a bit desperate I think.

I really think that getting older is great for meeting women. In my opinion women prefer the older more mature guy over a younger guy.

What do you all think. Has getting older mad you more successful with women? It has for me.
 

Faca

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Blues said:
I've hit the big 30 and im starting to notice pretty huge changes in the way i view life and relationships

Back in my 20s, i was this bad tempered ass who would argue about every small thing with my gfs. Looking back at the things i said and did, its really stupid. Lost the one girl which i think i really had feelings for bacause of my temper. Nowadays, im just too lazy to get into an arguement. I agree to disagree, live and let live. I think i've taken a more laid back view to life.

Even with women, i think i have mellowed much. No longer am i on the prowl to hit on every chick when i'm out. I rather enjoy the company of my close friends. Of cos, i still do check out women but thats about it. Even girls which i've seen for a couple of years say that i'm more quiet these days.

Im not too sure if this is a good thing being too mellow when it comes to women. I used to be able to date 3-4 women in a week, now im finding hanging out with one too time consuming. And i was also big on seduction techniques like EV, stories, qualifying, and all that jazz.

I don't expect the women to do a man's job when it comes to dating. Like approaching, initiating, etc..But i do expect her to be engaging and interesting to talk to.

Would like to know from you guys if being mellow would hurt my game with women?

And what seduction 'techniques' do you still keep in your arsenal when you hit the 30s?
Im not 30, but 22!

NO TECHNIQUES!

Just be natural.. your real problem is that you're useing techniques.

You'll be far better of, if you approach a girl.. and say.. "Your ass look really nice, i just want to fvck you!".

- faca
 

Mind_Body_Soul

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Faca said:
Im not 30, but 22!

NO TECHNIQUES!

Just be natural.. your real problem is that you're useing techniques.

You'll be far better of, if you approach a girl.. and say.. "Your ass look really nice, i just want to fvck you!".

- faca
Should we say it in broken english too? I agree with you to an extent about NO TECHNIQUES, but I think saying the above line is not going to have the best outcome either, but hey, I could be wrong.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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