Meeting/Overcoming Resistance

[Bourne]

I am noticing that I keep hitting a lot of resistance from others. Both people I know who are close to me and people I do not.

I am noticing that since I started to go after what I really truly want and not walking over anyone, not overtly stating what I am doing but just doing and going for what I WANT. I am meeting a lot of resistance along the way.

It's very hard to be in the middle of all this turmoil. My old-conditioned self is telling me to cater and go back to pleasing others. Listen to their opinions and their feelings.

But, I am aware of what my mind is going through and I am still going forward despite heavy resistance.

Have you guys encountered this? How do you deal with others and when you go for what you want and you meet resistance along the way. Especially from friends, family and your woman.

 

[Fallen]

Most people around you don't want you to change. They like stability, they like continuity, they like to feel safe. What they don't like is change.
Since you said you were used to please others ( just like me ) you displayed all the above mentioned traits for others. More like any other people your friends may know.

Bourne is a reliable guy

I can count on Bourne

If everything else falls apart, there's still Bourne

Bourne is a good person


Although people in general are not evil, some of your old friends will hate you for changing, for improving. Maybe even members of your own family. They may not even know why. On a subconscious level they may realize their own shortcomings or having to deal with certain issues without your help. The help and the support they took for granted all these years.

While they were minding their own business, you were waiting for others, standing by to help and support them.

Now the roles are reversed. You came here, realized there are issues and problems to be dealt with. And i'm talking about YOUR issues and problems, you started dealing with them. And now you're moving. And chances are, you're moving faster than any of your friends or family. Because if you're like me, you have to make up for a lot of wasted time.

Don't blame them or hate them for it. They don't know what you know. Mind your own business. ( Just like they did all these years ) Help and support people as long as it doesn't interfere with your own goals or costs you too much time or effort. Stay focused. Realize who's a real friend and who's just an "energy-thief".

And yes, you're going to be alone on this journey. That's the way it is. That's the way it was meant to be. ( I don't like it either )

Whenever you feel alone in your task and mission, look over your shoulder and see over 41.000 SS members watching and saluting you from afar.



( If you find 1 or 2 persons in your life who will really support you, encourage you in whatever you're planning to do without ever judging you or trying to hold you back, consider yourself to be one of the luckiest guys in the world )

 

[jophil28]

I am noticing that I keep hitting a lot of resistance from others. Both people I know who are close to me and people I do not.

You went from being frozen and paralysed to action and self propulsion. Most of those around you are still stuck where they always were, but you are MOVING forward . THis disturbs people because they were receiving a benefit from you the way that you were.

Now you are self seeking, not approval seeking.. not a recipe for popularity many times..
In short most people liked you just the way that you were.
You went from being "other focussed " to " self focussed " .There is now NO benefit to others in the changes that you have made and so they will resist your attempts to please yourself first.

THis is the downside of healthy selfishness and assertiveness, Deal with it.