"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Meeting a girl from match.com OR maybe not

Immaculate

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Set up a date with this girl from match.com last night over the phone. The plan was she is going to drive an hour and a half just to meet me for drinks (and possibly more after that). She had no problem with this, she said "i like to drive blah blah"...the convo was great had her laughing and all that.

So I email her this morning to cfm the date and let her know if she has any trouble on the way to call me.

So I just called her to cfm (a guy like me could have other plans if she flakes) and she let's it ring to voice mail and I left a message.

Now, if she doesn't email or call me back I'm thinking about not showing up.

What u guys think? Would you show up? I refuse to be stood up by some flakey b!tch that won't call me back to cfm the damn date.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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LoveBOT

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DUDE wake up and get out into the real world...if i had to lower myself to dating people i talked to on the internet my self esteme and confidence would plummet.

Get ahold of yourself man!.
 

Immaculate

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Answer the question at hand man... or don't reply please.

don't be a prick

Would you show or not show?
 

booga

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I don't have any magic answers for this dilemma but my experience w/internet dating is that the flakeout rate is too high to make it worthwhile to go out of your way. A gentleman should always meet his commitments, but should be selective about what he agrees to do. Believe me I learned this the hard way.

In your case, you can make her come to you so if she flakes you haven't lost anything, but next time you will have to go to her. Do you really want to date someone so far away & have to do that on a regular basis?

PS: IMHO the internet sucks rocks for dating but that's my experience; YMMV.
 

flexion_

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You called to confirm with her and you set the date up last night? Does that sound a little bit wierd?

I'd go - the date was already confirmed last night when you talked to her right? She may just be busy banging some other guy today thats all.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Immaculate

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Game over

she just called

she's on her way

time to get my Leisure Suit on
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by Immaculate
...
What u guys think? Would you show up? I refuse to be stood up by some flakey b!tch that won't call me back to cfm the damn date.
Personally, if this did happen I'd use it as a good opening when I start sarging women there since I'd be stag. Guys, no matter the situation, there is always opportunity.
 

Immaculate

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Re: Re: Meeting a girl from match.com OR maybe not

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Personally, if this did happen I'd use it as a good opening when I start sarging women there since I'd be stag. Guys, no matter the situation, there is always opportunity.
good point buddy

Going to meet this girl within the hour...I'll give you a post date report .. but hopefully not tonight hehehe.. This girl drives 2 hours to meet at a place a block from my house?

If she doesn't come home with me tonight, something is seriously wrong...unless she has to go back home for her kid or something I dunno man with these single moms.
 

BrotherAP

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Re: Re: Meeting a girl from match.com OR maybe not

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Personally, if this did happen I'd use it as a good opening when I start sarging women there since I'd be stag. Guys, no matter the situation, there is always opportunity.
:up:

I love that idea. I always have a harder time thinking of what I'm going to do with a particular girl than I do finding a girl to come with me to do something. For some reason it's so easy to get a girl to come with something that she knows you're doing with our without her - and being able to joke about getting stood up has got to show confidence. Many guys I know who get stood up will show up, wait as long as 2 hours, and then go home and hole themselves up not talking to anyone for the rest of the night.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Re: Re: Re: Meeting a girl from match.com OR maybe not

Originally posted by BrotherAP
:up:

I love that idea. I always have a harder time thinking of what I'm going to do with a particular girl than I do finding a girl to come with me to do something. For some reason it's so easy to get a girl to come with something that she knows you're doing with our without her - and being able to joke about getting stood up has got to show confidence. Many guys I know who get stood up will show up, wait as long as 2 hours, and then go home and hole themselves up not talking to anyone for the rest of the night.
Guys, a twenty year old gets this (no offense), it's not a difficult concept.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Francisco d'Anconia

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Re: Re: Re: Meeting a girl from match.com OR maybe not

Originally posted by Immaculate
good point buddy

Going to meet this girl within the hour...I'll give you a post date report .. but hopefully not tonight hehehe.. This girl drives 2 hours to meet at a place a block from my house?

If she doesn't come home with me tonight, something is seriously wrong...unless she has to go back home for her kid or something I dunno man with these single moms.
I'm not trying to be a naysayer, just realistic. You said it yourself, she may need to go home for her little ankle biter. Then again, the ex could have him or her.

Her making the drive is a good sign of interest. I had one come from the next state over (just an hour's drive or so) twice a week to see me. But then again she was coming for a specific reason. ;)

Just show her a good time. Oh yeah, make sure your place is cleaned up. It makes a huge difference on whether a woman chooses to spend the night or not.
 

BrotherAP

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Meeting a girl from match.com OR maybe not

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Guys, a twenty year old gets this (no offense), it's not a difficult concept.
Well, twenty-one actually. But I got it when I was twenty too ;)
 

Immaculate

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update

ok guys here's how it went

We met up at Ruby Tuesdays.. convo was great my game as working

We went back to my place and popped a movie in...

We held hands, made out, but that was it.. she said she couldn't stay over because of her 7 years old kid.

But let me add damn, this girl was looking good as hell

I walked her out to her car and she left, we kissed on the lips and that was it.

Do I call her tomorrow?
 

everywomanshero

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Good Job

makeout or fclose on first date doesn't matter. Actually, if you want to see her again you may have a better chance this way. If she didn't plan on seeing you again but just wanted sex she would've done you already.

Now, if you had gotten her pants off but didn't stick it in That's different. Women take offense to that or think you're weak (Im not sure which). When this has happened to me, they start flakey the next time I call.

Always try to at least make out on the first meeting. If she won't do it then, she'll probably be a pain and want to go on lots of dates. A definite no-no for me.

Make out or fclose on first meeting: I'll take either.

If pants are removed: Always stick it in. Never eat the taco or just play magic fingers once the pants are off. Follow through all the way.
 

Immaculate

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Re: Good Job

Originally posted by everywomanshero
makeout or fclose on first date doesn't matter. Actually, if you want to see her again you may have a better chance this way. If she didn't plan on seeing you again but just wanted sex she would've done you already.

Now, if you had gotten her pants off but didn't stick it in That's different. Women take offense to that or think you're weak (Im not sure which). When this has happened to me, they start flakey the next time I call.

Always try to at least make out on the first meeting. If she won't do it then, she'll probably be a pain and want to go on lots of dates. A definite no-no for me.

Make out or fclose on first meeting: I'll take either.

If pants are removed: Always stick it in. Never eat the taco or just play magic fingers once the pants are off. Follow through all the way.

nope there was no pants removed or anything... we started holding hands during the movie and everytime I kissed her she didn't reject at all.. we had some tongue action going for awhile but I didn't feel her up, or anything.. I was just playing it smooth...

I'm pretty sure she's into me.. and this girl would be great but she has hat kid... I don't know what to do.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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I'm Joe Dirt

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For those of you bashing internet dating, at least this guy is going on a date! There is a lot of keyboard jockies here who WISH they could even do this much.
 

sparky1981

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Re: Good Job

Originally posted by everywomanshero
makeout or fclose on first date doesn't matter. Actually, if you want to see her again you may have a better chance this way. If she didn't plan on seeing you again but just wanted sex she would've done you already.

Now, if you had gotten her pants off but didn't stick it in That's different. Women take offense to that or think you're weak (Im not sure which). When this has happened to me, they start flakey the next time I call.

Always try to at least make out on the first meeting. If she won't do it then, she'll probably be a pain and want to go on lots of dates. A definite no-no for me.

Make out or fclose on first meeting: I'll take either.

If pants are removed: Always stick it in. Never eat the taco or just play magic fingers once the pants are off. Follow through all the way.
I never heard this advice b4. I'll try following it since I just recently started going out with this chick. Gone out with her twice and talk a lot but i definately know I'm on the way to getting some with her. Does it matter who takes the pants off
 

Immaculate

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Originally posted by I'm Joe Dirt
For those of you bashing internet dating, at least this guy is going on a date! There is a lot of keyboard jockies here who WISH they could even do this much.

bashing internet dating lol!

I had a hot ass girl over at my house tonight and we were making out like crazy...abd hottamn her lips were sexy ..

at least I got some action tonight... who cares where it came from.

bottom line - hot chick at my house making out
 

BigFoot

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The real attractive women don't need to resort to "internet dating". Ask some - they will hardly know what you are talking about. For the few that are hot (in their pictures anyway) they can get 50 emails or contacts a day so you have little chance of getting their attention - certainly alot less than if you knew them in person.
Basically the same thing holds true for
"attractive" guys. When my friend was seperated from his wife recently, and soon to be divorced, word got around and women were approaching HIM ! Internet dating would be (and is) of no interest to him.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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