"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Measurements

TheNewGuy

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Here are my measurements, the first set taken on June 6, 2006 and the second set taken today (September 27, 2006).

June 6, 2006
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 125.5lbs
Chest: 31.5"
Arm: 11.75"
Waist: 28.75"
Quad: 16"

September 27, 2006
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 125lbs
Chest: 33"
Arm: 13"
Waist: 29"
Quad: 17"

So in 4 months I gained 1.5" on my chest, 1.25" on my arms, .25" on my waist and around an inch on my quad. I'm not really sure where to measure the quads so that might be off. I'm currently leg pressing around 335, benching 125, curling 75 and hack squatting (no spotter :() around 200.

How does all this information look?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Skilla_Staz

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Where do you lift? I ask random people to spot me when I squat...

This information looks like you've made gains. I'm imagining you've become "leaner" due to the fact that your numbers are going up, but your weight actually went down. Either that or you measured yourself after a workout and you've got a "pump".
 

TheNewGuy

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Skilla_Staz said:
Where do you lift? I ask random people to spot me when I squat...

This information looks like you've made gains. I'm imagining you've become "leaner" due to the fact that your numbers are going up, but your weight actually went down. Either that or you measured yourself after a workout and you've got a "pump".
My friend is going to start coming with me to the gym, so I'll have a spotter soon enough.

This is no pump. I've definitely gotten bigger, but the same weight (I vary between 124 and 126). Eventually my body will run out of fat to replace/muscles to efficientize and I will gain weight... right?
 

Adone

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TheNewGuy said:
How does all this information look?
It looks wrong. When my arms were 13" (I am your same height), my legs were 21" and they looked so skinny compared to the upper arm that my classmates would say "How can you have such big arms and such small legs?" 24/7. I think it's impossible that your legs are 4 inches less than that, while your arms are the same.
Also, I've never seen someone who sports 13" arms and 33" chest.

And I'm sorry but, since you are only 125lbs at 5'10, I think it's your arms that are smaller, not the rest that is bigger.
 

Warboss Alex

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Look, you're 16, you grew an inch taller - your body is still developing. Your weight and measurements will fluctuate wildly during this time. If YOU think you've gotten bigger then you have regardless of what the scale says. I do feel your measurements are slightly off but that's not the point.

Some people train hard for 3 months and eat big, hop on the scale and it says they're at exactly the same weight they were 3 months ago. Zero gain. So they get depressed, bummed out and upset. But what they didn't notice is that they lost an inch off their waist and their vascularity has come through, and all their lifts have gone up - what does this mean? You've lost bodyfat and gained muscle mass. You can lose 10lbs of fat, gain 10lbs of muscle but the scale will still say zero!

The mirror and the tape measure don't lie, but the scale will play havoc with your brain. Donate it to the fitness babes. ;)
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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TheNewGuy

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Thanks for the replies guys.

Alex: First of all without you on this board I wouldn't have grown at all, so thanks. I'm not worried so much about gaining weight, as I could be a 160lb chubby or a lean kinda-sorta muscular 125lber (like I am now). I just want to see if these size gains are normal. I really don't weigh myself nearly as much as I used to.

Adone: Like I said the measurements might be off... I'm trying to do this with one of those crappy sewing measuring tape things.

Here are some pics, I tried to get my chest/arms with the measuring tape on them but its hard to measure, hold it in the right spot, keep it straight and take a picture at the same time.

Arm, 33cm (12.99"):
http://img139.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=91124_00001_122_322lo.jpg
Chest, no tape:
http://img105.imagevenue.com/view.php?image=91133_00003_122_430lo.jpg
Arm, no tape:
http://img109.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=71589_00004_122_589lo.jpg
Tricep flex:
http://img159.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=71594_00005_122_563lo.jpg


I'm gonna go get a protein shake.
 
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Adone

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Is it me or the first 3 links are broken? Anyway, judjing by the last 2 pics, your arms can't be 13", they look no bigger than 11-12". However, you have a helluvalotta definition in your biceps, so you definately look better than your random skinny High Schooler, but you seriously need to put on some mass. Trust me, when I started I was your weight and 140lbs sounded too much. Now I'm trying to reach 160 lbs and it's REALLY hard, I can tell you.

Follow Alex's advice and you'll get a better body, that guy knows what he's saying, trust me.
 

TheNewGuy

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Links fixed, took out the measured chest one. Its way too blurry to read what the tape is saying.

How long did it take you to get up to 140ish?
 

howardalex

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Adone said:
It looks wrong. When my arms were 13" (I am your same height), my legs were 21" and they looked so skinny compared to the upper arm that my classmates would say "How can you have such big arms and such small legs?" 24/7. I think it's impossible that your legs are 4 inches less than that, while your arms are the same.
Also, I've never seen someone who sports 13" arms and 33" chest.

And I'm sorry but, since you are only 125lbs at 5'10, I think it's your arms that are smaller, not the rest that is bigger.
13" arms is a great size for 125lb, if anything they're out of proportion with his body...

dude just lift, eat, sleep + repeat and you'll grow...
 

Adone

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howardalex said:
13" arms is a great size for 125lb, if anything they're out of proportion with his body...
Isn't that what I said?

I don't remember exactly how much it took me, but I remember I had to eat like a fùcking pig. Before going to bed, I would fill myself up until I was litterally uncomfortable walking... but I'm a hardgainer.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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cuzza

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That sounds really light for 5'10... I'm that height and 16 and I weigh around 152 lbs and I'm thin and I'm sure as hell not heavily built.
 
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