Meaning of "We had a falling out"

[bigneil]

Tonight, for the first time in 3 months, I went to the strip club where my ex works. It had been 50 days of NC since she and I last spoke.

The club had bounced me because they found out we were dating, but she and I broke up a few weeks later. Luckily I got in tonight no problem.

Upon arriving I saw a hot girl on stage and I went to tip her. It turned out to be my ex's favorite dancer who I hadn't seen in 4 months to the day (and only twice in my life). She said "I love your suspenders" (snapping one) and then she said "I saw your girlfriend last night..." I couldn't believe she remembered me that quickly after so long. I tipped her and got out of there.

As soon as I went to the bar I was collided with by our regular waitress. She got me a drink and quickly pulled up a chair and said "So tell me what happened". I said "I have no idea what happened". Then she said "She told me you both had a falling out...". Then she said "but I love your suspenders..." (snapping one) - guys you must get these. I snuck out after one drink.

Anyhow, what exactly does the expression "Had a falling out" mean? Does it imply a salvagable situation?

 

[betheman]

Anyhow, what exactly does the expression "Had a falling out" mean? Does it imply a salvagable situation?

your GF would have told them everything, with her spin on things, these two now the background, they wanted to hear your side because they know a heavy spin was put on things by your ex, they wanted to feedback to her and make her squirm, in the guise of friends of course, also, they just love the drama, the gossip. 'having a falling out' is woman speak for, "I know what really happened but Im pretending I know nothing", its an attempt to get you to open up. you didnt, well done.

 

[Mike32ct]

"We had a falling out" = I know I screwed up, but I want both parties to share the blame so the breakup sounds like it was mutual. That way I don't look bad or make him look bad either.

I agree with Betheman that the other girl was clearly trying to pry you for information. She wanted the latest gossip. Hollywood report at 9 am lol. You did great by playing like you didn't know what happened.

Is it salvageable? I have no idea. I'll defer to the other guys on that one.

 

[Skalioppe]

Anyhow, what exactly does the expression "Had a falling out" mean? Does it imply a salvagable situation?

Yep, completely salvageable : Why? The evidence is 100% transparent :

• She's hurting because she's discussed it with people at work. Women talk about their woes when they are emotionally invested.
• She's discussed you recently (last night), with several people so you are still at the forefront of her mind, she misses you and you have importance to her.
• She's told work colleagues it was a falling out rather than it was over.
• Her colleagues recognised you and were friendly and flirty, so she hasn't made you out to be a monster, the opposite in fact.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Id say that the most gentle way of describing an argument would be to say you had a falling out. So if any argument descriptor would suggest another chance that would be it I guess.

When you talk about suspenders I have this mental picture of the guy from "the green mile" for some reason.. lol

 

[bigneil]

Thanks guys. I think it went perfectly - I saw the two key girls who I know will talk to her. Here is a fancier version of the suspender braces I wore (with same T-shirt and jeans). Here is closer version. They are an alternative to a belt.

Also, I got over the bouncer issue - walking in I had serious nerves and adrenaline, not knowing if I'd end up broken legs nevermind a broken heart - after getting bounced by a guy who looked like Kingpin last time. He said "If you want to date her, keep it outside the club". I didn't see him - not sure if he would have let me in or not.

Funny part is, I tried to look as different as possible. I lost 30 lb, got a tan, worked out, changed my wardrobe and hair style, and had a goatee, but they recognized me instantly.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Thanks guys. I think it went perfectly - I saw the two key girls who I know will talk to her, and they will both remember what I was wearing.

Also, I got over the bouncer issue - walking in I had serious nerves and adrenaline, not knowing if I'd end up broken legs nevermind a broken heart - after getting bounced by a guy who looked like Kingpin last time. He said "If you want to date her, keep it outside the club". I didn't see him - not sure if he would have let me in or not.

Funny part is, I tried to look as different as possible. I lost 30 lb, got a tan, worked out, changed my wardrobe and hair style, and had a goatee, but they recognized me instantly.

Here is a fancier version of the suspender braces I wore (with same T-shirt and jeans).

Here is closer version. They are an alternative to a belt.

You're a little crazy sometimes Big...

 

[bigneil]

You did great by playing like you didn't know what happened.

I really don't know what happened!

 

[SoSuave666]

Who cares? Why did you even go back? This stripper can NOT be that intriguing. I feel your ego gets in your way BN. You give good advice on here about staying away and remaining NC, but when push comes to shove you feel like your situation is different than everyone else's. Heed your own advice (and the majority of advice you will get after a breakup) and don't try and salvage something that's broken.

Suspenders are for hipsters. Better be drinkin' that PBR.

 

[cordoncordon]

Tonight, for the first time in 3 months, I went to the strip club where my ex works. It had been 50 days of NC since she and I last spoke.

The club had bounced me because they found out we were dating, but she and I broke up a few weeks later. Luckily I got in tonight no problem.

Upon arriving I saw a hot girl on stage and I went to tip her. It turned out to be my ex's favorite dancer who I hadn't seen in 4 months to the day (and only twice in my life). She said "I love your suspenders" (snapping one) and then she said "I saw your girlfriend last night..." I couldn't believe she remembered me that quickly after so long. I tipped her and got out of there.

As soon as I went to the bar I was collided with by our regular waitress. She got me a drink and quickly pulled up a chair and said "So tell me what happened". I said "I have no idea what happened". Then she said "She told me you both had a falling out...". Then she said "but I love your suspenders..." (snapping one) - guys you must get these. I snuck out after one drink.

Anyhow, what exactly does the expression "Had a falling out" mean? Does it imply a salvagable situation?

I see you are still in love (obsessed) with a (THE) stripper. :crackup:

A falling out means a disagreement that led you you two no longer being in contact. I realize you are looking for any word or phrase in that sentence you can latch onto for a glimmer of hope...but you need to understand that falling in love with a stripper (an at best 6.5 stripper remember I saw her pics) is a no win situation for you, or anyone for that matter.

Just move on.

And suspenders? Cmon mannnnnnnnnn.

 

[bigneil]

Truth be told, I loved her the moment I saw her. Haven't you guys ever loved someone instantly? I think she's the most beautiful girl I know and I hope everyone rates her a 6.5 so there will be less competition.

I have the phone numbers of several strippers. I've met a hundred and probably had table dances from 50 in the last 8 months (my new girl is the barmaid at a different strip club). One of my favorites just texted "You own me" last night. But "the stripper" is the only one who I ever came close to having feelings for, and again, it happened the moment I met her.

Dating a stripper is a great experience because it desensitizes you to beautiful, naked women who are trying to sell you something. Since dating her, I feel as though I can pick up any woman I talk to. I used to get nervous the moment they became "hot enough".

 

[SoSuave666]

Truth be told, I loved her the moment I saw her. Haven't you guys ever loved someone instantly?

No.

Truth be told I get kind of skeptical with girls who tell me how awesome I am. Like really, how many times have you said that to other people? I like compliments, but at least do them in person, not over text.

Anyway, point is to find someone new. I've been with enough women to know that if they want you they will come back to you. She is a stripper. I repeat: stripper. She grinds up on d!ck all night. She can get someone far wealthier, better looking, and with a more dominant personality any day of the week...literally. Just because she mentions you in passing doesn't mean anything. The bouncers probably hate you because the club isn't making any profit off you, not because you are banging a stripper and she told them about it.

Why do you go after strippers anyway? Do you have an obsession with white knighting for these girls with financial problems and daddy issues? They are pretty much the scum of the dating game. I've hooked up with strippers in the past. Some make you pay, some give you bjs for fun. It's basically prostitution without the label. I guarantee your girl is giving rim jobs for 5 bucks a pop behind closed curtains.

Date some real women man. I guarantee there are better ones than this 6.5 stripper.

 

[bigneil]

I don't go after strippers. I just met one that I really liked and succeeded in seducing her, which some want to underscore means nothing, but I disagree.

She can get someone far wealthier, better looking, and with a more dominant personality any day of the week...literally.

I wonder why all her friends still remember me after 4 months then?

I wonder why the barmaid at the adjacent club is dating me? I wonder why both of them told me I'm the only guy they ever dated that they met at the club. My new girlfriend said "all the dancers tell me how handsome you are" and she was not happy about it.

 

[cordoncordon]

I don't go after strippers. I just met one that I really liked and succeeded in seducing her, which some want to underscore means nothing, but I disagree.


I wonder why all her friends still remember me after 4 months then?

I wonder why the barmaid at the adjacent club is dating me? I wonder why both of them told me I'm the only guy they ever dated that they met at the club. My new girlfriend said "all the dancers tell me how handsome you are" and she was not happy about it.

You are hopeless. Srs. You are the biggest afc on this entire site and yet somehow you have a rep here as a soothesayer. In reality you are a guy with low self esteem and some deep rooted psychological issues. I am not saying you are a bad guy, underneath it all I think you are probably an ok guy. But man you have some issues. It's like you live in two different worlds. The world where you give other people decent advice, and then the world in which you actually live, your own. Where you act like a 15 year old kid in love for the first time.

 

[SoSuave666]

I wonder why all her friends still remember me after 4 months then?

Because you went there for 6 months straight gaming a stripper?

Because you happened to meet her friends who have a photographic memory? Oh wait, they're strippers and have IQs below that of an ape.

Because you were the 'chump' who chased their friend without knowing she was banging dudes behind your back?

Because you wear suspenders?

Because you are blacklisted at the club for not paying for lap dances?

Because you couldn't get a hint that "falling out" meant "over"?

Should I...should I continue?

 

[bigneil]

Because you went there for 6 months straight gaming a stripper?
It took one month or 3 visits before she left with me. I didn't meet the other girl until Valentine's Day, 3 months later, when I was her date (she wasn't working). Funny I'd get that day if she had tons of better options every night. The stripper introduced the other girl and said "Isn't he sexy?" and the other girl said "Yes... very... and I love the bow tie."

Because you happened to meet her friends who have a photographic memory? Oh wait, they're strippers and have IQs below that of an ape.
You just contradicted yourself.

Because you were the 'chump' who chased their friend without knowing she was banging dudes behind your back?
She was banging me from day 1. How many chumps get strippers coming over and having sex for free?

Because you wear suspenders?
Neither girl ever saw me in suspenders.

Because you are blacklisted at the club for not paying for lap dances?
The bouncer told me it was against policy for boyfriends to be allowed.

Because you couldn't get a hint that "falling out" meant "over"?
They remembered me for 4 months because of what happened last night?

Should I...should I continue?
Continue at what? You're grasping for straws, as are all my haters. Most of them would have said the club wouldn't even remember me if they predicted last night.

Responses in bold.

 

[SoSuave666]

I'm not going to get into an argument over this. The only thing I will point out is that I did not contradict myself. I was being sarcastic when talking about photographic memories with strippers. Not to make a generalization, but a smart stripper is a bit of an oxymoron.

If you want to continue down this rabbit hole of pursuing a stripper, be my guest. Clearly no one is going to be able to convince you otherwise, because well, you know best. When you are done with your girl fvcking other dudes and playing mind games with you, you can move on to some higher quality women. Until then, sugar daddy up!

And remember. These women are paid to make you happy. They will call you cute, sexy, hot, or any other positive adjective to boost your ego (which in your case seems to be an achilles' heel).





response in plain text.

 

[cordoncordon]

Responses in bold.

You are delusional.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

What's good bigneil?

I'm going to be brief with my reply. You make some good change Neil and I'm pretty sure you don't live in a country city. Go ahead and find you another girl. A stripper is nothing but a lazy h0. It's the easiest way to get some side change. These girls aren't even really money making females. I mean I'm pretty sure that pu$$y was good but to be honest with you it shouldn't be something you pursue longtime. It would be a nice little jumpoff but nothing more.

Go ahead and get you a better breezy. You got your finances settled. You shouldn't be "liking" no stripper girl. You need to stop thinking about this girl. You need to stop going to "trick clubs". All these girls want is money. Nothing more nothing less. Just money. I think you can do way better playa. It's kinda sad still hearing you talk about this stripper but anyways Good luck to you man.

 

[Trump]

Tonight, for the first time in 3 months, I went to the strip club where my ex works. It had been 50 days of NC since she and I last spoke.

As soon as I went to the bar I was collided with by our regular waitress. She got me a drink and quickly pulled up a chair and said "So tell me what happened". I said "I have no idea what happened". Then she said "She told me you both had a falling out...". Then she said "but I love your suspenders..." (snapping one) - guys you must get these. I snuck out after one drink.

Anyhow, what exactly does the expression "Had a falling out" mean? Does it imply a salvagable situation?

I agree with prettyboy.

Let me ask - what was the goal of going back to the strip club after so many days? Emotional outlet? Feels good that people who used to know you haven't forgot you? Hoping your ex will fall in love with you?

Bro you have focus and focus hard. Hate to say it, but the waitress who asked "what happened" doesn't really care, she just knows its what she's supposed to say. If she REALLY cared about what happened and how her best stripper friend lost such a great guy, she would have been phoning you nonstop to get you guys back together. The same way she would care as if you owed her a pay cheque or promised her a trip around the world.

I don't know your specific situation, but I dont think strippers make good life long parterns, someone you want to show off to your friends and bring home to mom.