Me

[Celadus]

Well, I have been lurking for awhile, and I have been making a lot of progress.

My self-confidence is very low, because I'm super skinny...So, I started working out and found a hobby that I am very passionate about(muay thai kickboxing and brazilian jujitsu).

I usually stay in my room and do not reach out to people, but last night I went to a concert with a guy who I am pretty good friends with. I really don't have any good friends, but this guy is pretty nice.

But the longer I'm in a social situation the more I think about how things suck. I'm a real good looking guy other than being skinny and last night at the concert I was getting all kinds of attention from girls(I walked by two very attractive girls, smiled and made good eye contact, and one said "****" and later on I turned around and they were sitting in the bleachers near me, watching me, waiting for me to approach, I guess) Of course, I didn't. Another time, I turned around and there were three girls directly behind me. I smiled at them and made good eye contact, they knew I was into them and they said "That guy was cute." I should have said something, but I couldn't. I've read the bible and all that. That's why I smile and prolong eye contact if I think I've got a bite. And to make things worse, and really kick me in the nuts, after I went back to my room, there was a girl I think is hot next door talking to a guy, and when she left I was out in the hall, I've never talked to her, but she waved. A few nights ago, I was playing playstation with a friend and she came in the room. I said a few things, but she kept making eye contact. It's just the going up to them and closing. Knowing I could get them, but balking at the opporunity is worse than not really having an opporunity.

I am really insecure around guys my own age, because I was picked on a lot in high school. I was a late bloomer and wasn't "manly" until 11th or 12th grade. So, I get worried about what the guys will think when I go up to a girl, for some dumb reason. It's a big party weekend where I go to college and its an all guy school, so any girls here will most likely be the friends of some guy's girlfriend and hanging out with him a lot.

My main question has to do with starting to feel sad the longer I am at a party. I can have a good time for a few hours, but it starts to go bad. I noticed my confidence is usually very high at the very beginning, but then I see everyone dancing, having a good time, and all that and my confidence goes down. How can I fix this? My face usually gets strained and people think I am strange. But its mostly frustration.

It's going to take awhile before I'm a stud, but I'd like to hook up with a girl. I turn 19 next week and I'm still a virgin and haven't kissed a girl. I'm so desperate I'm attracted to every girl I see. But regardless of my desperation, I think almost all women are beautiful except for Rosie O'Donnel. A high priced hooker is looking good right now.



Suspirium puellarum Celadus thraex.

 

[The Edge]

Your biggest problem right now is self esteem. And no amount of sex or people who compliment you will change your low perception of yourself.

Until you make peace with your body and ability to speak your mind, attracting quality women and building yourself into the Man you want to be won't fukkyn happen.

I can relate at some point, because I had a problem with self esteem. However, I was on the other side of the fence.. I used to be 45 lbs overweight. I knew I looked good but couldn't approach women. That is until I worked at my flaws and finally made peace with myself.

Rather than spoil your thread with self promotion...PM me and I will assist you with whatever you need to get to where you want to go.

The Edge ' Some have it, and some don't '

NB the key is to keep an open mind... For a majority of the time, my answers and strategies go against the normal grain of thought on this site..

 

[Anonymous56]

I have the same exact story as this guy....makes me feel a little better knowing im not the only one. God so many missed opportunities in highschool :-/.....Seriously, my life would be so different right now if I just acted upon all the positive situations that presented themselves in highschool......im just going to start with the basics and go from there.

 

[Anonymous56]

I'm so desperate I'm attracted to every girl I see

This is crazy...mirror image........I seriously would hook up with 95 percent of the girls on my campus at this point. My problem is not really what the girl thinks, its what my friends and other guys think of what I do. But hes right, it all comes down to self confidence and respect. I can throw a baseball 93 MPH...and yes I STILL HAVE CONFIDENCE issues when on the mound a well. How many people in the world can throw that fast? And yet I still can't level with myself. I have been given height(6'4), athletic talent, a handsome face, but the curse of of my insecurities. Sometimes I just wish it was the other way around......now im just angry, which is the usual emotion I have daily.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Self-esteem issues are not uncommon iamong teenagers, and young adults. The older you get, and the more you learn, the more confortable you will become in your own skin. You must get to the point where you absolutely don't care what anybody thinks and/or says about you. Remember, most of your friends have their own confidence issues, and women, well they are a whole other species with their own set of problems.

I recommend you pick up one of the self-improvement audios that are constantly recomended here. Go out more, talk to the people around you. Make it a game, and play not only to succeed, but to practice. Most of us miss a bunch of opportunities, and regreat not having done anything about it. You know you are getting better when at least you yourself, realize that a girl was actually coming on to you.


Recomended programs:

The Psychology of Achievement by Brian Tracy
The Psychology of Winning by Denis Waitley
Get The Edge & Unlimited Power by Anthony Robbins

On the seduction side I would say to read the posts by some of the better DJ's here, and get How To Succeed with Women by Ron Louis & David Copeland, and Double Your Dating e-book by David DeAngelo. That should keep you busy for a few months. All the new knowledge will definitely rise your confidence.