"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Me and my girl got back together

guywhoneedshelp

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So I held out and didn't call her for a total of 4 days. She called me yesterday and asked me to come over. But I played it off, told her I was busy, and to call me tomorrow.

She called me today, and I went over, talked to her. She really didn't need space to see other guys, so whatever, we're back. And the whole thing with her Mom, well I guess I helped her grow up a little, because she is no longer going to let her Mom get in the way of our relationship, and she will be getting her own car soon.

She swears she hasn't done anything with other guys and I can tell she's telling the truth. She really didn't "need space" to see other guys, she just wanted time to not think about the relationship. I told her that this whole "i need space" thing was only a dumb idea because I canceled our Fire Island (New York) hotel reservation for August and our 1 week Disney world (Florida) hotel for October because I thought we were done. Her response: "I told you I still wanted to be with you...I just needed time...I was getting really stressed out with all this fighting and just wanted to get away from it..."

Thanks to all the help. (Please put in your opinion as well)

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=146663
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=146812
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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WC2

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Do you really think that even if she took a break to find other guys (sex) that she would tell you? If she did anything with another man do you think she would really tell you right now? Sorry pal, I guess the only way to learn is the hard way.

Smart men learn the first or second time from their mistakes.

Fools will keep doing the same thing, no matter the consequence.

It's funny that you've been told by almost all of us that this relationship will not work out and you have just ignored it. Didn't get the answer you were hoping for? Didn't think so.

While I wish you the best of luck, I really do feel bad for ya in the long run.
 

guywhoneedshelp

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I dunno man, I mean she seemed pretty serious when she swore she hasn't done anything with anybody not even held the hands of another guy during this "I need space". Maybe she really needed space because of the way I yelled at her. Maybe she needed some time to heal from our last argument. Lets expand our views a little bit on this "I need space" situation guys.
 

KontrollerX

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You'd be surprised at the academy award winning acting ability of some chicks dude.

WC2 is exactly right but you know what I too wish you luck.

And when it fails remember the pain and never let this happen again.
 

guywhoneedshelp

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I'm very blunt about how I feel on the whole thing. I told her that it was complete bull **** to completely withdraw from me the way she did. I think the fact that I reacted by getting mad and not by getting sad helped strengthen her attraction in me and not view me as a desperate pu$$y so that's good.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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WC2

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guywhoneedshelp said:
I dunno man, I mean she seemed pretty serious when she swore she hasn't done anything with anybody not even held the hands of another guy during this "I need space". Maybe she really needed space because of the way I yelled at her. Maybe she needed some time to heal from our last argument. Lets expand our views a little bit on this "I need space" situation guys.
First of all, women don't need "time" to think about things. Women make up their minds pretty quickly on men based on how they are feeling in the moment. Women don't work logically, they work based on feeling.

And you have to face it that she didn't "feel" like she did before. If she was really torn up about it, she would have come to you in her greatest time of need. Women always use the "I need time cause I'm hurting" as an excuse, but if you really think about it, wouldn't she come to the one she loves in her worst times when shes hurting? Yes, she would and the fact is that she didn't love you over the past few days and don't think you begging on your knees for her has changed that for the better.

You've certainly left a trail of neediness to this girl that she will never forget. You're on her leash now. She knows that she can throw fits, have her mom cuss you off and still have you at her fingertips anytime. Why do you want to be in a relationship like this? It's beyond me.

And I will repeat, a woman will never admit when she's taken a break and hooked up with a guy/wanted to hook up with a guy unless theres evidence to her dirty deed. She may bring it up later in the relationship when she knows things are secure, which is even worse.

Let's say she hasn't messed around on you and she wasn't really planning to. Well then you still have this girl with a psychopath as a mother and she obviously has an unstable mindset as far as your relationship goes.

Save yourself a great amount of heartache by taking a little to the heart right now. Trust me, it's worth it being empty for a week or so. Much better than being hurt for a long time.

Want some inspiration as to why you should cut this off? My ex of 2 years broke it off with me awhile back. Now, we'd been through many breaks initiated by both her and I. But this last rejection was very passionate as she told me that "she still loves me, but can't forget what I've done in the past." Ha, she sure loved me quite a bit! Especially when I found that night she called her ex-lover from out of state telling him that she's 100% free and ready to ****. And my ex was by no means a slut; just like a typical woman who swings from branch to branch.
 

guywhoneedshelp

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WC2 said:
First of all, women don't need "time" to think about things. Women make up their minds pretty quickly on men based on how they are feeling in the moment. Women don't work logically, they work based on feeling.

And you have to face it that she didn't "feel" like she did before. If she was really torn up about it, she would have come to you in her greatest time of need. Women always use the "I need time cause I'm hurting" as an excuse, but if you really think about it, wouldn't she come to the one she loves in her worst times when shes hurting?

Besides all this, you've certainly left a trail of neediness to this girl that she will never forget. You're on her leash now. She knows that she can throw fits, have her mom cuss you off and still have you at her fingertips anytime. Why do you want to be in a relationship like this? It's beyond me.

And I will repeat, a woman will never admit when she's taken a break and hooked up with a guy/wanted to hook up with a guy unless theres evidence to her dirty deed. She may bring it up later in the relationship when she knows things are secure, which is even worse.

Let's say she hasn't messed around on you and she wasn't really planning to. Well then you still have this girl with a psychopath as a mother and she obviously has an unstable mindset as far as your relationship goes.

Save yourself a great amount of heartache by taking a little to the heart right now. Trust me, it's worth it being empty for a week or so. Much better than being hurt for a long time.
"coming to me in time of need" - I was the one that hurt her

"on her leash" - well i didn't go to her yesterday, I acted like a **** and told her call me tomorrow. not exactly running back to her. Also told her I moved on.

"wont admit it" - I believe you which is why I keep trying to ask her. But she wont.

and you're right - women do generally approach situations with their minds made up. and the mom is wack. I don't wanna deal with it but I feel like if I leave (which i've thought about) i'll regret it when I one day see her as an independent woman who is no longer attached to her mom.
 

WC2

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Sorry bro but I can only preach so much to ya. It's ultimately you that is going to have to find out the hard path you're about to travel (ultimately learning the hard way is the best way).

Best of luck to you.
 
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