Maybe it's just the coffee

[Gripped]

My I'm just crashing from three cups of coffee I had earlier, maybe it's my panic attack about how little I've lived or maybe it's that I viewed my onitis' facebook page and saw the spitting of Scumbag Steve with his arm around her in the cover photo http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/093/953/SCUMBAG STEVE.jpg?1318992465 but I feel f ucking awful. This whole thing is really eating into me, I feel inferior to this guy, to all these guys who I'm sure she's friends with. I'm not in love with her, just the idea. It's really a status thing or maybe it's that these ****s are living life, eating out chicks, partying and I'm sitting here on my laptop complaining to a teenage forum. If I had three wishes it would go like this: I wish to not be afraid of rejection, I can't thick of anything else though, except maybe a foot-long c ock and a shiny set of teeth. I shy away from everything where I could be rejected. This is my Achilles heel. Well it's probably yours too. I feel it's too late now to break into the social circles and I'm tempted to spend the time from now until I'm 18 masturbating and watching movies. The lull is usually followed by a high though, I'll post again if I think of anything inspirational.

A sad Gripped.

 

[AlexLefty]

My I'm just crashing from three cups of coffee I had earlier, maybe it's my panic attack about how little I've lived or maybe it's that I viewed my onitis' facebook page and saw the spitting of Scumbag Steve with his arm around her in the cover photo http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/093/953/SCUMBAG STEVE.jpg?1318992465 but I feel f ucking awful. This whole thing is really eating into me, I feel inferior to this guy, to all these guys who I'm sure she's friends with. I'm not in love with her, just the idea. It's really a status thing or maybe it's that these ****s are living life, eating out chicks, partying and I'm sitting here on my laptop complaining to a teenage forum. If I had three wishes it would go like this: I wish to not be afraid of rejection, I can't thick of anything else though, except maybe a foot-long c ock and a shiny set of teeth. I shy away from everything where I could be rejected. This is my Achilles heel. Well it's probably yours too. I feel it's too late now to break into the social circles and I'm tempted to spend the time from now until I'm 18 masturbating and watching movies. The lull is usually followed by a high though, I'll post again if I think of anything inspirational.

A sad Gripped.

Dude you're being stupid. Honestly. I've made a lot of random advice posts and I was going to start a thread about this, but instead I'll just post it here. It seems like you're having problems with your "self" and self-perception. Let me copy and paste a fb conversation i had with my wing a couple of weeks ago on the topic. Keep on reading even if you get confused, it will come together eventually.

---------------------

Alex
yo dude, just read some mind blowing stuff that has to do with self perception and the perception of others
mssg me when you want to talk about it

September 7Tony Lombardi
k link
heyyy

September 7Alex
making top o ramen again
it's from my textbook
i shall summarize
in 1 sec..
so it's like all self actuallization ****
pretty basic in principle, but mind blowing once you a acknowledge its existence
So this is talking about self
And self is predicated by Symbolic Interaction
This is Communication through symbols; people talking to each other. The 3 core principles are meaning, language, and thought. These lead to conclusions about the creation of a person’s self and socialization into a larger community.
So going off an a tangent, language is the source of all reality
Meaning is social reality, Language is the source of Meaning, and Thought is the interpretation of Language
SO

September 7Tony Lombardi
yeah not getting it, id have to read it

September 7Alex
nonono
cause i haven't gotten to the good part
here it is:
Self; that is, self perception, is a looking glass
Basically this means that you conjure the image of your Self by taking on the role of another, aka, looking at yourself from another persons eyes
This is, the Looking-glass Self: defined as: The mental self-imaged self that results from taking the role of the other; the objective self; me. Your view of your self as you see it through someone else’s eyes, this becomes, your self.

September 7Tony Lombardi
yeah i can see that. can we do anything about it?

September 7Alex
well like
basically, one's Self is defined by the way you PERCEIVE others PERCEIVE you

September 7Alex
and this is most powerful by those closest to you
and by the larger community as a whole
So, my oppinion of myself is not really my own opinion, it is really the opinion that i perceive everyone else has of me
The real power in knowing this is that what you SAY to others, (giving compliments) and how you SAY you view them, can actually affect how they VIEW THEMESELVES
For instance, if you view me as very close to you, and I call you buff and handsome, you will eventually perceive that you ARE buff and handsome because it is how I view you, making it how you view yourself
Because we view our Self by looking through the eyes of others
Now, that's kind of basic, it gets into the I and the ME of self and stuff, but i have to explain it in person...but you see what i'm getting at?
Like this can be powerful in affecting others
And KNOWING this can help to gain a better image of one's self

September 7Tony Lombardi
yeah, it makes total sense because its all we have to go off really.

September 7Alex
Right
Like say you enter into a group
The theory of Generalized Other states that you will act in that group how you perceive the expectations of you from that group are
idk if i worded that right..

September 7Alex
Generalized Other – The composite mental image a person has of his or her self based on community expectations and responses.
-We refer to this generalized other whenever we try to figure out how to behave or how to evaluate our behavior in a social situation. Basically, we try to behave how we perceive others perceive we behave.

September 7Alex
And now that we know all this
We have a better ability to control it and change it because we are aware

September 7Tony Lombardi
yeah i can totally see that. i know i do that ****. like enter a group of people i think are like, better than me, and ill act all coy and lower than them, and usually i find out they are not better than me so i change how i act, but at that point ive deflated myself already by trying to act how i think i should around them. its ****ed.

September 7Alex
ya see like your ENTIRE self image is not really conjured in your own mind! it is actually created in the minds of others
Your self image is predicated by Taking the Role of the Other – The process of mentally imagining that you are someone else who is viewing you.
Knowing this
And more importantly knowing that OTHER people do this
Gives us great power
Like if i constantly compliment you next time i see you, i'm sure you'll have a better self image when it's over...as long as you know they are sincere
or think they are

September 7Tony Lombardi
hahaha
dude this is why girls think they are so ****ing great

September 7Alex
OMG

September 7Tony Lombardi
i read that like hb 10s around some age
start to be treated differently

September 7Alex
go on

September 7Tony Lombardi
and it ACTUALLY ****ing changes their own self perception. so they sincerely believe that they are better than everyone else.

September 7Alex
see it's not that they think they are great
it's that they think everyone else thinks that they are great

September 7Tony Lombardi
yeah and transitively they think they are great

September 7Alex
like this is kind of eye opening for me lol

September 7Tony Lombardi
i get that our perception is based solely on others
and how think they perceive us
its so ****ed to think about

September 7Alex
so

September 7Alex
then the question is, what predicates how others perceive us?
is it more strongly influenced by how OTHERS do, or how we perceive ourselves (which they don't know, is based on others lol)
and see how this can affect power?
Give someone compliments to raise their Self
So then you are the result they feel good about themselves, so MAYBE subconsciously they know that you are responsible for their happiness
which = power

September 7Tony Lombardi
pretty big assumption, im less interested in the power and social component and more in the idea of self actualization

September 7Alex
i mean it makes sense though, like you tend to like those people more that make you feel good.
but i see what you mean. knowing that others influence our Self is the first step in making sure that We are the only ones that influence our Self

September 7Tony Lombardi
oh yeah no i read that too. people like people who make them feel good about themselves

September 7Alex
^

September 7Tony Lombardi
.

September 7Alex
was pointing to the thing i said about what u said lol
but ya i think this is a pretty big step to self actualization and true confidence stuff
pretty cool huh?

 

[Gripped]

How would one capitalize on this knowledge? and may I ask where to find the original source?

I appreciate this is ab itelligent logical argument but I am skeptical at two things mentioned here though. If The HB 10s actually believe they're better than everyone else then surely those men whom she would wish to date (those with solid principles and high self interest) would not reciprocate this wish and therefore the hottest girls would only be able to bag A-holes #hotchickswithdouchebags
And what about those men who are affected little by what others say and think. Unless there is a point where other's view of this person has reached such a high esteem that said persons transcends others thoughts.

 

[AlexLefty]

How would one capitalize on this knowledge? and may I ask where to find the original source? College textbook. A First Look at Communication Theory by Em Griffin 7th edition.
I appreciate this is ab itelligent logical argument but I am skeptical at two things mentioned here though. If The HB 10s actually believe they're better than everyone else then surely those men whom she would wish to date (those with solid principles and high self interest) would not reciprocate this wish and therefore the hottest girls would only be able to bag A-holes #hotchickswithdouchebags. I think you're going off on tangents..I don't really see your point in this statement. Those men whom she wishes to date may or may not reciprocate...it doesn't really matter. You're focusing on random fallacies.
And what about those men who are affected little by what others say and think. What about them? Unless there is a point where other's view of this person has reached such a high esteem that said persons transcends others thoughts. Eh I don't think you're getting it. The point is not to be so liked by everyone that you don't care what they think. The point is to not care what they think.

You make use of this by realizing that you're basing your own self image on what you PERCEIVE others think of you.

Now that you know this, you have awareness and can begin to change it. As you know, awareness is the first step.

So what happens is you perceive that the girl sees you as insufficient to that other guy, thus you ACTUALLY THINK that you ARE insufficient to that other guy.

You have to think: "the way other people judge me does not make up who I am, I am the only one who decides who I am".

You do not need permission or approval from other people to decide who you are. But, this is how people are hardwired, to think of themselves as other people see them. So, you need to just decide who you are. "I am cool because I AND I ALONE think I'm cool, and it doesn't matter what others think".


As you read along in the PM and read about polarizing it might make more sense.

 

[Gripped]

I f ucking knew it!!! the depression is always the calm the storm (The storm in this context being a desirable)
I've had a breakthrough, not only a breakthrough but possibly the breakthrough, the most pivotal breakthrough in my strife for success. Amongst my myriad issues there was always a winner, a champion of my failure, and I think I've found it. I am in denial, the task always seems to big to handle as the idea of asking for a girls number spontaneously seems unfathomable to me. If I'm forced to know the girl I have been a P.I.M.P in the past but to offer myself on plate for rejection was anathema. I always felt I was dealt a good hand in Life but I'm just a puzzy. My revelation is no small part down to how you helped me Alex, the challenge now is to capitalize, thank you.
Tomorrow I shall ask 5 girls for the time.
Baby Steps.

 

[Gripped]

You make use of this by realizing that you're basing your own self image on what you PERCEIVE others think of you.

Now that you know this, you have awareness and can begin to change it. As you know, awareness is the first step.

So what happens is you perceive that the girl sees you as insufficient to that other guy, thus you ACTUALLY THINK that you ARE insufficient to that other guy.

You have to think: "the way other people judge me does not make up who I am, I am the only one who decides who I am".

You do not need permission or approval from other people to decide who you are. But, this is how people are hardwired, to think of themselves as other people see them. So, you need to just decide who you are. "I am cool because I AND I ALONE think I'm cool, and it doesn't matter what others think".


As you read along in the PM and read about polarizing it might make more sense.

I am deep into it now,
I have told myself to think like this but I never believe myself, well maybe I have to pump up my own work ethic, organisation, respectfulness before I believe it.

 

[AlexLefty]

I f ucking knew it!!! the depression is always the calm the storm (The storm in this context being a desirable)
I've had a breakthrough, not only a breakthrough but possibly the breakthrough, the most pivotal breakthrough in my strife for success. Amongst my myriad issues there was always a winner, a champion of my failure, and I think I've found it. I am in denial, the task always seems to big to handle as the idea of asking for a girls number spontaneously seems unfathomable to me. If I'm forced to know the girl I have been a P.I.M.P in the past but to offer myself on plate for rejection was anathema. I always felt I was dealt a good hand in Life but I'm just a *****. My revelation is no small part down to how you helped me Alex, the challenge now is to capitalize, thank you.
Tomorrow I shall ask 5 girls for the time.
Baby Steps.

Good.

Remember, do not think of your self esteem by picturing yourself through someone elses eyes.

Instead, think of your self esteem as YOU want to.



It's not easy, it took me more or less 3 years of mental masturbation to realize that I am actually the ****, regardless of if anyone knows it. Even if I don't go out on a friday night and have no positive reinforcement that I'm the ****, I still know it within my heart. I don't need validation from others to feel cool, I simply know I am.

Just believe it. Eventually, you will. ))))