"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Maybe I'm becoming a little too harsh

A

AFK Protector

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Here's what happened. Maybe this indifference thing is too engrained into my soul. Anyways, here's what happened.

*some girl calls me*: hey AFK!
me: hello
*girl* : whats up?
me: do I know you?
*girl* : yEA! can't you tell? it's <name>
me: 1) no I cannot tell. 2) how the hell did you get my number.
*girl* : um....if you don't wanna talk its okay.
me: okay cya.
*girl* : wait!!
me: :CLICK:

So uh....yea....kinda harsh, but just a little. So how can put them down easier. I like to get to the point. I never gave my number to anyone. I mean...I don't want these punks calling me whenever they're partying cuz I've got my own schizz to do. Stalker? Maybe. Insane? Definitely.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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M

mb121

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Haha, nice Comrade Protector, the spirit of the great one is within you. However, you should of inquired her into getting you a subway sandwhich and help with tidying up the house, who knows, maybe she could of been worth your time? I mean good quality house cleaning is coming pretty expensive these days...i swear this one chick the other day wanted like minimum wage...her crazy prices were out the ROOF (when I was going to let her stay within a 10-feet radius of myself).

Chicks these days....always wanting more, well I say give them more * !


NOTE: for all *'s substitute for the word housework.
 
H

Hot Ice

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AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!


That was great, bro!
Keep it up! :D
 
A

AFK Protector

Master Don Juan
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Ok not too harsh...that's good.

Yeah, I need to get them to start doing stuff for me. I told this girl to make me breakfast once, but she's a lazy ass and didn't come the next day.

So I just ignored her and one day behold....the doorbell rings at 7 AM and I have a nice omelette.
 
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