Maybe I f'ed it up, need some perspective

[Deadly_Ripped]

Met a girl twice briefly at my place through a rommate.
He was into her, she wasn't into him.
I let him figure this out on his own, then I 'let her' hook up with me the next time I was a party at her place with her roommates.

After, texts exchanged once, during which time she made a comment like "until it happens again" in reference to our hooking up.

2 days later she calls, I don't pick up.
I call the next day and she apologizes for being drunk the other night, suggests we play scrabble some time.

I'm like sure, this weekend works. She's like sure, Sunday works. I say let's keep it tentative.

I call her Friday night to confirm. I had JUST watched most of the Johnny Soporno free lectures, and was in a mindset of honesty and confidence. Given how concerned about her reputation she was when we first hooked up, I tried sprinkling some of the "no one shoudl judge you for doing what is fun and feels good" and then she's like let's talk about this some other time definitely. Then she says "mayby when sober" and I say "probably in bed" and then there's a pause.........

then she's like "um, okay" in a fairly neutral tone that really gave me neither hope nor despair. Conversation continued for like anotehr 2 min then we got off the phone.

Any thoughts on how piggish or ****ty or hilariously perfect that really is?

If she interested, is that the kind of comment (given only 3 interactions with her so far) that could have shown my hand and end this sherade?

Thanks for the perspective

 

[Hidden-Hand]

Maybe I f'ed it up, need some perspective

Then it is perspective you will get.

Met a girl twice briefly at my place through a rommate.
He was into her, she wasn't into him.
I let him figure this out on his own, then I 'let her' hook up with me the next time I was a party at her place with her roommates.

I hope you are not looking for anything 'long term', if not then all seems to be well. Keep going though.

After, texts exchanged once, during which time she made a comment like "until it happens again" in reference to our hooking up.

2 days later she calls, I don't pick up.
I call the next day and she apologizes for being drunk the other night, suggests we play scrabble some time.

Hmm. Everything seems to be going 'well'..what did you need perspective with anyhow??

I'm like sure, this weekend works. She's like sure, Sunday works. I say let's keep it tentative.

Still not seeing any problems or issues here.

I call her Friday night to confirm. I had JUST watched most of the Johnny Soporno free lectures, and was in a mindset of honesty and confidence. Given how concerned about her reputation she was when we first hooked up, I tried sprinkling some of the "no one shoudl judge you for doing what is fun and feels good" and then she's like let's talk about this some other time definitely. Then she says "mayby when sober" and I say "probably in bed" and then there's a pause.........

then she's like "um, okay" in a fairly neutral tone that really gave me neither hope nor despair. Conversation continued for like anotehr 2 min then we got off the phone.

:crackup: What you said was funny. How long did you guys talk for? (Hopefully less than 10 mins.) But I still dont see anything you did that was that bad, and that funny line you said wouldnt have messed you up that much by the way. (Unless she cant take a joke, and if thats the case you dont want her anyway.)

Any thoughts on how piggish or ****ty or hilariously perfect that really is?

I think you 'played your cards' as best as you could and now the 'ball' is 'in her court'. You did everything 'right' so unless there is something wrong with her you should be pretty alright here.

If she interested, is that the kind of comment (given only 3 interactions with her so far) that could have shown my hand and end this sherade?

Thanks for the perspective

You had sex after 3 interactions? Is she a ***** or something?(joking lol) What do you know about this girl? Anyway, did you guys have any 'deep' convo's? Get her feelings involved with you and you should have this one. I mean if you already 'got her' then why are you worried anyway? Dont 'sweat' this, if it stays 'smooth sailing' then ok and if not, oh well. You spelled 'charade' wrong btw

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

Isn't the point of the game to keep her chasing the ball in my court? Putting the ball in an independant, confident woman's court is asking to be befriended as a **** in a glass case like Chris Rock said: "a woman's male friend is a **** in a glass box... in case of emergency, break glass and use"
Kinda AFC, no?

Nah we didn't have sex. It was finger bangin and a ridiculously awesome handjob for the night. She was like 'I can't let you leave here thinking I'm no good at this" so she broke out the lube and went to town like a pro. She and I exchanged plenty of compliments about the respective skillz.

I spent the night but the next morning she's like "we shouldn't do anything now that we're sober... it would ruin it" and I'm thinkin like wow you really want this to be just a drunken hookup that bad eh? But then we lay in bed and talk and she's holding my hands and stuff and it's mad comfortable.

Basically things she says say "I'm just having fun and hooking up so don't get interested" but everything she's doing is saying "I'm interested in you" so I like the advice that I need to involve her emotions more and get her to open up to me. If she's not havin it, then I'm down for a few good f'ks.

I just hate the idea of getting friend-zoned unintentionally. I guess I'm just overthinking it and using this website and the request for advice to quell my own insecurities that are barely justifiable and to distract me from studying for a major grad school exam that I've got next week.

Basically, I don't know her very well and I need to stop worrying and let my sense of humor, security, and aggressive nature show her who I am while exploring who she is.

Back to studying... Thanks for the insight.

 

[Hidden-Hand]

Isn't the point of the game to keep her chasing the ball in my court? Putting the ball in an independant, confident woman's court is asking to be befriended as a **** in a glass case like Chris Rock said: "a woman's male friend is a **** in a glass box... in case of emergency, break glass and use" Kinda AFC, no?

I have no imput on this comment.

Nah we didn't have sex. It was finger bangin and a ridiculously awesome handjob for the night. She was like 'I can't let you leave here thinking I'm no good at this" so she broke out the lube and went to town like a pro. She and I exchanged plenty of compliments about the respective skillz.

oh. Haha this changes my opinion about this situation a bit.

I spent the night but the next morning she's like "we shouldn't do anything now that we're sober... it would ruin it" and I'm thinkin like wow you really want this to be just a drunken hookup that bad eh? But then we lay in bed and talk and she's holding my hands and stuff and it's mad comfortable.

She insulted you. I am suprised you did not get that. After a comment like that I would have got up, claimed to have something 'very important' to do and left. If she was genuinely attracted to you she would not have said that. But hey, maybe shes just looking for a 'good time'. If thats the case then give her one to remember!

Basically things she says say "I'm just having fun and hooking up so don't get interested" but everything she's doing is saying "I'm interested in you" so I like the advice that I need to involve her emotions more and get her to open up to me. If she's not havin it, then I'm down for a few good f'ks.

Alas my suspicions about this are verified! Shes not interested in anything but sex. Don't press the 'relationship' issue at all. Take what she said at face value because she meant it big time. Let her be the one to bring up 'relationship' talk because if you are the first to do it you will lose this one. I'm glad your up for some fun with her, that probably all you'll get. Keep talking to other women though, cause research shows that most 'friends with benifits' relationships do not last a long time.

I just hate the idea of getting friend-zoned unintentionally. I guess I'm just overthinking it and using this website and the request for advice to quell my own insecurities that are barely justifiable and to distract me from studying for a major grad school exam that I've got next week.

:crackup: You are 100% correct about everything you just stated, but be glad you came here now instead of later or you might have messed this up and been mad at yourself (Like most of the guys who come here).

Basically, I don't know her very well and I need to stop worrying and let my sense of humor, security, and aggressive nature show her who I am while exploring who she is.

You obviously know what to do, so just go do it! Dont speculate on this, it'll only mess you up. Overthinking is a "AFC" trait and thats one of the many reasons why they lose out alot.

Back to studying... Thanks for the insight.

Good luck on that exam, I hope you 'ace' it. And your welcome.

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

Update

She invites me over Sat night to go out with her and her roommates.

I show up, hug her hello and proceed to chill with everyone without paying much attention to her.

She brings me outside and jumps me on the spot. The rest of the night she was fun but every time she and I were alone she was nervous and insecure big time... not in the cute way how a girl will fish for compliments, but like straight up AWWWWWKWARD.

Despite that, all night her hands all over me while bar hopping with these people. The thing is though, that once we get back to her bed she just can't seem to stop complementing me and being insecure... like really really really insecure, and going so far as to tell me (as if I didn't know at this point) how insecure she is!!!

Now it's very clear she's thinking that I'm relationship material, but damn now that I've seen this side of her it's like wtf am I supposed to look forward to? Constantly reinforcing her self esteem? She is rich though...

Anyway turns out she is digging me way harder than I thought, and she's being very up front about it now. So def some of your feedback was spot on and some of it wasnt so much. Since it was based on my description though, and therefore subject to my own filtering process, I agree with your analysis of the situation as it was presented.

So now I'm like YAY ME... I think.... is this what I wanted... is making it through the front door always supposed to lead to meeting the family?