Well i know what that's like, it's called envy. Feeling cheated somehow for whatever reason, be it one is a nice guy and feels spited because he loses the girl to another guy who pushes the right buttons. These guys who are nailing the chicks in the amateur home made vids, you watch and you feel pangs inside yourself, a restlessness. A yearning to have. Hell you could be better looking or in better shape than those dudes and you ask yourself how come im watching him bang some wench when i should be doing the same. It can motivate you, like you say it can wake you up.
I doubt i would have moved my ass from behind the computer. Sorting myself out? I thought i was sorted already, all i lacked was a good body, confidence, a good job, friends, a social life, hobbies etc lol. Yet which of these got me motivated to step up and wade in? None. It was looking at a small foreign girl with hugh bazookas at my workplace which stired my loins. She has a bf and other guys talked to her, and what did i experience? ENVY
This in turn made me realise that something was up. I can either sit on the sidelines and watch those amateur vids and wish it was me doing the humping. Or i can do something, anything as long as it was activity of some sort. I waded in, online dating was a good start. Ultimately it got me through the door. And since then slowly, a bit at a time, my life is gathering momentum. I had no friends at the start. I have online buddys sure, but it wasn't until i pushed through and went against my own fears and doubts that i started to feel happy. I went a high school reunion Dec last year, i wasnt going to go, i didnt know a lot of the people who who were showing up, and i hadnt seen those i knew for 10 years. I was scared and paranoid to fook. I manned up and went. I had a good time and gained from it. The key then is to keep the momentum going, dont lose touch with people, invite them out rather than waiting for an invitation. Experience fear and laugh at it. Easier said then done. When you drink too much your body rejects it and makes you throw up, so it is when you need to man up and wade in. Eventually you get sick of waiting, you feel the frustration, the restlessness, and you either go within yourself or say "Fook this! Im gonna do summit, i dunno what but who gives a fook!". Something like that you know?
