May ethnicity gets on the way

[PapiChulo]

I have an eastern european background and do have an accent. Most people that I meet are not able to tell where I am from and are rather intrigued at first, but they eventually want to find out. And my name is foreign as well. I basically make people guess and simply don't tell them if they guess wrong. I hear anything from Sweden to New Zealand! So it's kind of a blessing in a way but there's more to it. Here's the catch: once they find out the truth it is almost as if they are turned off or something, or have instant prejudice against me based on the fact that I don't come from a more civilized and developed country, nor am a local, therefore an outsider. The right word here is Disappointment, because they have already imagined me being German or Swiss. How do I deal with this?

 

[TIC]

Just count your blessings you weren't born brown or with kinky hair or both. Ultimately, your white just like the rest of Canada. An accent is not a big deal

 

[bigneil]

Don't let your country define you. You define the country.

I have the same problem with my age. Many women find out I'm 40 and lose interest immediately. But I have to define my age, not let it define me so I refuse to lie about it.

 

[Fuglydude]

I'm visible minority also living in Canada.

I'm from Alberta, the most redneck part of Canada. I'm East Indian, however, no one every guesses that. People think I'm hispanic, or mulatto, filipino, or some kinda weird mix.

Bottom line is if you're fundamentally attractive, race and ethnicity really don't mean shiit in the 21st century. I was a stripper for several years and have done tons of shows in rural Alberta... (read: red neck hick towns of Canada)... I've never had issues getting awesome responses from the girls there. Canada is much less racial than other countries, and you're not even visible minority, so I don't really understand the issue.

The world is becoming more and more culturally tolerant, and this will continue... Therefore, your perceived "disappointment" is only a problem because you're interpreting it as such. If you're a jacked up, intelligent, attractive guy with a great career and social/sexual awareness then you'll have absolutely nothing to worry about.

 

[FairShake]

I have an eastern european background and do have an accent. Most people that I meet are not able to tell where I am from and are rather intrigued at first, but they eventually want to find out. And my name is foreign as well. I basically make people guess and simply don't tell them if they guess wrong. I hear anything from Sweden to New Zealand! So it's kind of a blessing in a way but there's more to it. Here's the catch: once they find out the truth it is almost as if they are turned off or something, or have instant prejudice against me based on the fact that I don't come from a more civilized and developed country, nor am a local, therefore an outsider. The right word here is Disappointment, because they have already imagined me being German or Swiss. How do I deal with this?

I have to be honest, I don't know many people who trip over someone being Eastern European. Maybe there's a criminal connotation or something with it but most people I know (in the United States) aren't particularly scared or feeling particularly superior to Eastern Europeans. So maybe it's in your head. Just consider that. I could definitely be wrong.

There are certain things you can't change. Ethnicity is one of them. As someone who is sometimes suffering from crippling low self-esteem I have several tricks to keep myself from getting too bogged down in self-doubt. One of those tricks is I don't worry about things I can't change. I focus on things I can. Body, personality, mood, etc. Those things are in our control. Not the piece of land where we were born. As always this isn't easy to accomplish but with the right kind of strong focus on other things I think it too will pass.