You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Just read that. Now reading Killing Lincoln by Bill O'Reilly. Very well written. 5 stars.Warrior74 said:I'm currently reading The Thoughts of The Emperor Marcus Aurelius Antoninus. I'm learning more about Stoicism. What are you reading and why?
Next on my list. Thanks. Nonfiction is the only way to go.samspade said:To End All Wars by Adam Hochschild - about WWI. Gruesome stuff.
Also, Nicholas & Alexandra by Robert Massie - about the last tsar of Russia.
Huge nonfiction buff....
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Julius_Seizeher said:The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius is the seminal work on Stoicism, and I thought Aurelius captured a great deal of wisdom in that book. But I always warn about Stoicism, I like the masculine Rock of Gibraltar mentality it promotes but there is a nasty streak of (what would today be known as) nihilism in it. You know, "Nothing matters, nothing is real, knowledge is impossible, blah blah". If you can read Meditations while weeding the nihilism out of it, you'll take nothing but good away from it.
I've been on a big Ayn Rand kick for about the last year, I already read most of her fiction books and I'm getting into The Virtue of Selfishness right now.
Objectively, the material world is the only one I care to live in. Rand characterized Objectivism as "A philosophy for living on earth." And she was exactly right.Warrior74 said:Yes, so I've heard. It's only fair that I warn you that Rand's objectivism has its downsides as well. It can lead to egoism and materialism.
I'll not debate it, but I will say that I've met few people in real life who follow objectivism who I thought were good and worth while people. Usually the ones I've met have massive egos and very little ability or justification for their air of superiority. It's also been hilarious when said people fall on their faces and then come crawling for help only to lash out when denied by all the people they pissed off. This has been my experience. I'm thinking of about 4 people I know personally who have followed this same script.Julius_Seizeher said:Objectively, the material world is the only one I care to live in. Rand characterized Objectivism as "A philosophy for living on earth." And she was exactly right.
Rational egoism, the supreme sovereignty of the individual mind, is the core tenet of Objectivist epistemology. The ego has always been characterized as the synonym of evil, but Rand (quite effectively) showed that the man who lives for himself, the man who values his life and his work above all else, is also the greatest benefactor of mankind. The parasites of collectivism, unwilling to bear responsibility for their own lives, dissolve their individuality into a herd and then blame the ego for the source of mankind's disasters.
We always talk about "alpha this" and "alpha that" on these boards, but I've never really bought into the prevailing definition of the alpha male, because he sounds alot like a bum I would never care to be. Nothing worth having (or being) is to be achieved as easily as the false prophets of game insinuate. Let me tell you, it was a little lady from Russia who defined the ideal man in the best, most explicit terms I have ever seen. I knew Objectivism was right because, when I first got into it, it seemed so hard to practice. But it's right, it's the only philosophy that doesn't let you have your cake and eat it too--which is metaphysically impossible.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Highly agreed on the alpha stuff. I'm a big Rand fan as well, started reading her works when I was 18. Be sure to read The Moon is a Harsh Mistress by Heinlein sometime, right up the same ideological alley.Julius_Seizeher said:We always talk about "alpha this" and "alpha that" on these boards, but I've never really bought into the prevailing definition of the alpha male, because he sounds alot like a bum I would never care to be. Nothing worth having (or being) is to be achieved as easily as the false prophets of game insinuate. Let me tell you, it was a little lady from Russia who defined the ideal man in the best, most explicit terms I have ever seen. I knew Objectivism was right because, when I first got into it, it seemed so hard to practice. But it's right, it's the only philosophy that doesn't let you have your cake and eat it too--which is metaphysically impossible.
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.