Mature DJs..Help me out with this NEW 23 y/o girl!

[KontrollerX]

Hey man since you PMed me asking for advice a few days ago in this thread I am here now and there's been so many great posts and advice given to you I don't have much at all to add so I'll say this.

I agree with T!ttyman, jophil and Rollo 110% with what they said to you in here.

The other guys posts were great too but just thought I'd let you know whose stuff stood out the most to me in here.

And I definitely agree with the poster who wanted to call for a ban on posting text convos with chicks here due to the headache factor lmao.

 

[Metro3pilot]

Here's the only sign of interest that matters

Drum roll please

TADA

" she is in your bed with her clothes off "


signs that some people say indicate interest but in reality don't matter

she calls
returns calls
she will text you
email you
myspace you



signs of disinterst

plays games
makes you wait for sex
mentions the friend or buddy word
tells you about all her guy friends

what she says when youre an orbital AFC

says she's not ready for a relationship right now
says she's not dating right now

signs your Fuc*ed

she mentions the guys she likes

if you aint pluggin that hole ...trust me, someone is

 

[Jitterbug]

Im sorry guys...but i just feel too attached to this girl now...i havent talked to a girl for this long before and opened up to a girl like i did her. Attachment is a B ! T C H!!!

Here come the flames....

Perfect example of the scarcity mentality.

If you have avenues of meeting lots of women socially, you wouldn't have this problem. You're attributing all sorts of good qualities to this chick because she's the only one giving you some attention. If you socialize with a lot of women, you'll realise that this is nothing special.

Next time don't open up to them too soon. Get them to open up to you instead. If you really want to open up to some chick, find one that you don't want to ****.

I can't believe you've been here this long and you're committing nearly all textbook sins of an AFC. You really should get out and practice what you read here more instead of just reading.

 

[Ken785]

Perfect example of the scarcity mentality.

If you have avenues of meeting lots of women socially, you wouldn't have this problem. You're attributing all sorts of good qualities to this chick because she's the only one giving you some attention. If you socialize with a lot of women, you'll realise that this is nothing special.

Next time don't open up to them too soon. Get them to open up to you instead. If you really want to open up to some chick, find one that you don't want to ****.

I can't believe you've been here this long and you're committing nearly all textbook sins of an AFC. You really should get out and practice what you read here more instead of just reading.

aHhHh...i see. Im watching, or more like dabbing through RSD's Blueprint Decoded and Tyler mentioned something like this. I already know it but didnt realize it till now.

Will continue studying and approaching. I have a lunch date with her tomorrow, will escalate kino and get sexual to see if she responds to me differently in person. If not, forget it.

 

[drmeathead]

I. If she does not bite then please do not whine to her about it, give her ultimatums, or even waste the energy it takes to purposely ignore her. Even nexting takes more energy than she deserves. This is a hard concept to grasp. Leave her undefined.

Never complain, never explain.

Decide to move on to others. If she chooses to define herself for you in the future and you are not busy with others then move on her.

This is not easy sh1t to get, but then again, you ARE in the mature section.

very nice

 

[true romance]

This guy Ken has lot of free time and lack of options..Let him try out...

Grinder nails it !!

 

[STR8UP]

You've made a blanket excuse for her actions by saying "she's a good girl". Anything she does, acts, says, or feels will be ok in your eyes because "she's different"...she's "a good girl"..."I believe you have to switch up the way you are and the way you escalate with certain types of girls"...

Yea, the "good girl" mentality has to go.

I totally KNOW better, and at times I catch myself thinking the same way, like I've found that rare gem, (even in a woman I'm not necessarily interested in), but when it comes down to it there are a few EVIL b!tches out there, but the vast, VAST majority fall into that middle of the road category, and it's easy to let your ego get fooled into thinking that you've found a one-of-a-kind, when in reality she is the same as every other woman. You're just too close to the situation to be able to see it.

 

[Jitterbug]

aHhHh...i see. Im watching, or more like dabbing through RSD's Blueprint Decoded and Tyler mentioned something like this. I already know it but didnt realize it till now.

Will continue studying and approaching. I have a lunch date with her tomorrow, will escalate kino and get sexual to see if she responds to me differently in person. If not, forget it.

Well, talk about studying, you don't need to read so much stuff. If you've read the DJ Bible, it's right there at the very start. Pook's Lesson #1 of the 15 Lessons. Read -> Comprehend -> Internalize. Not Read->Read->Read somemore.

Don't stress too much about this failure. Crashing & burning make you learn a hell lot more than sitting on your arse reading night after night. It's a blessing in disguise.

 

[Ken785]

UPDATE:

Wow...you guys arent going to believe this...well i met up with her for a quick coffee date and as im parking the car and walking in the place i look in the glass and see this girl sitting there alone. She is quite chunky. She has a big tattoo on her back.

I know its the girl thats supposed to meet me there because i remember the same tattoo the same nights we met at the club. The thing is i dont remember her being that BIG! So i walk in and sit down...and god damn she looks nothing like the girl i met at the club! I thought to myself while talking to her...

'' WTF Man?!? Had my eyes been deceiving me the whole time?? Is this a different girl?"

I mean, the girl i remember at the club was a little chubby but still really cute! And this girl before me right now is kind of a heffer. Also her IQ isnt too high. Shes kind of a dummy.

How could i let a fat chick play games with me this whole time? Even her face wasnt all that cute. God i felt like 'Shallow Hal' or something.

I was totally turned off by her. Not only has she been playing games with me but to be an unattractive fat chick and do that is a no no. After the date i at least tried to hug her and she walked straight to her car and i say..

Ken785: "AwW..no hug?"

Formally known as HB8 now known as HB4 fat chick: "When have i ever hugged you?!?" (with b!tchy look)

I was thinking...man this b!tch is ugly and fat...the club lights and nighttime have deceived me. How can she afford to act like a b!tch??

From that moment on i basically slowly lost contact with her and now im not talking to her anymore. At least not on the phone anyway...ill still text her back just to be nice if she texts me but i wont go out of my way to text her.

Lesson learned: Club lights can be deceiving. They can make even the ugliest fat chicks look hotter than they actually are.

 

[Jitterbug]

Lesson learned: Club lights can be deceiving. They can make even the ugliest fat chicks look hotter than they actually are.

:crackup: Yep, the lighting, the noise (which numbs your senses) and the alcohol can combine to deceive your eyes. That's just on top of the typical female disguise: makeup, push-up bras, well-cut dress etc.

Keep that in mind for next time you think a chick is super hot and you feel you have less social value.

 

[Ballie]

Excellent thread. All the DJ lessons in one practical real life experience. Thanks for sharing Ken785. I'm busy with the DJ Boot camp and am finding the going for rejections the best fun of all.

 

[NewMan]

UPDATE:

Wow...you guys arent going to believe this...well i met up with her for a quick coffee date and as im parking the car and walking in the place i look in the glass and see this girl sitting there alone. She is quite chunky. She has a big tattoo on her back.

I know its the girl thats supposed to meet me there because i remember the same tattoo the same nights we met at the club. The thing is i dont remember her being that BIG! So i walk in and sit down...and god damn she looks nothing like the girl i met at the club! I thought to myself while talking to her...

'' WTF Man?!? Had my eyes been deceiving me the whole time?? Is this a different girl?"

I mean, the girl i remember at the club was a little chubby but still really cute! And this girl before me right now is kind of a heffer. Also her IQ isnt too high. Shes kind of a dummy.

How could i let a fat chick play games with me this whole time? Even her face wasnt all that cute. God i felt like 'Shallow Hal' or something.

I was totally turned off by her. Not only has she been playing games with me but to be an unattractive fat chick and do that is a no no. After the date i at least tried to hug her and she walked straight to her car and i say..

Ken785: "AwW..no hug?"

Formally known as HB8 now known as HB4 fat chick: "When have i ever hugged you?!?" (with b!tchy look)

I was thinking...man this b!tch is ugly and fat...the club lights and nighttime have deceived me. How can she afford to act like a b!tch??

From that moment on i basically slowly lost contact with her and now im not talking to her anymore. At least not on the phone anyway...ill still text her back just to be nice if she texts me but i wont go out of my way to text her.

Lesson learned: Club lights can be deceiving. They can make even the ugliest fat chicks look hotter than they actually are.

Your lesson should be;

"I will listen to my DJ brothers' advice."


write it out 100 times.


here is another one;

"I will not day dream and fantasize about a chick I bearly know"

OR

"I will not waste my time with pointless text messages to an attention *****"


Any more?


lots of lessons here - good newby post.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Glad things worked out for you, yet, what will you do when a similar situation happens with a girl who is actually hot, and not a piggy piggy?

Your update made it sound like what you put yourself through was ridiculous and not worth it just because she was not attractive, yet it would have been justified if she had the looks. You need to think of every broad in those terms. Remember, the more dolled up she is, the more she is covering her fragile ego and insecurities.

 

[Ken785]

Glad things worked out for you, yet, what will you do when a similar situation happens with a girl who is actually hot, and not a piggy piggy?

Your update made it sound like what you put yourself through was ridiculous and not worth it just because she was not attractive, yet it would have been justified if she had the looks. You need to think of every broad in those terms. Remember, the more dolled up she is, the more she is covering her fragile ego and insecurities.

A couple things i realized:

After the last update i realized a couple things. When i thought the chick was hot...i let my d!ck think for me and i wasnt using my head. I got too emotional and i was talking on the phone for way too long and texting way too much because I 'liked her' so much..and even started to develop a little one-itis too..

The girl was playing games and being really rude and mean to me saying she didnt care about not calling me back or leaving me on hold to talk to her other friend and 'accidentally' forgetting that i was waiting on the other line. The b!tch was really rude and mean at times and i took all of it and let her play me like a puppet.

But guess what??

When i found out the chick was a fugly fatty...all of a sudden, instantly...my attraction for her instantly died...i could have cared less and thought i was wayy higher value than her. Then i ignored her...

Then SHE was the one that started trying to text me all the time asking for forgiveness for being mean and that she didnt want to do that anymore because it hurts too much...and blah blah. I still could have cared less for her.

Forget that fatty! She wasted my time...but also taught me this valuable lesson so ill use it and learn from my mistakes. I need to get into this mentality with all girls.

 

[wjh]

It amazes me that she carries an attitude around like that. What in her delusional mind makes her think she can get away with that? Amazing!

 

[Sandow]

Hey, Ken, I'm not referring to you here, but let this be a lesson that experience in the field is so important. Every DJ should know that a girl refussing to meet up, consistently flaking, prefers to text is a HUGE RED FLAG. But you wouln't know this unless you have experienced this before. Ken, your experience is a perfect example. Clearly this chick has issues. The reason why she was flaking was because she was insecure. She had to hide behind a phone because she knew once you met her you would be disinterested. Any HB 7 or above would NEVER hesitate like this. Dude, she fat and ugly. and a bitc#. That pretty much sums up why she acts the way she does. Never do this again buddy. Also I used to live up there and the girls are definitely different. In a bad way. But thats a whole diffeent topic.

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

Im sorry guys...but i just feel too attached to this girl now...i havent talked to a girl for this long before and opened up to a girl like i did her. Attachment is a B ! T C H!!!

Part of that is because she treated you like crap. Many of the DJ stuff works both ways and isn't just for guys picking up girls.

I literally said "oh no" out loud when reading what happened when you met for coffee. A funny outcome that I did not expect given your original story. You only had a quick dark glance at her in the club (probably while drinking too) and then subsequently made her into this hot babe in your head while she was walking all over you. Lesson learned. The easiest thing to do is repeat your mistakes, though, so make sure you look back at this and do it differently the next time.

 

[wayword]

She's playing you for attention and possible favors later, dude.

Wake up.

In chicknese, "later" = never and "buddy" = friendzone.

Honestly, if she was truly HI, she would've wanted to Day 2'd ASAP...

Sorry, NEXT!