Match with an old oneitis on tinder

[Bingo-Player]

Got the “congratulations you have a new match”....... open up tinder and it’s an old oneitis :nervous:

Took me a little bit by surprise because i don’t actually remember swiping her

I’ve switched my phone off to avoid saying something stupid ( can’t trust myself with this girl lmao)


a bit of background

I met her when i was around 18 at a house party and from the very second i laid eyes on her i wanted her......I’ve met very few girls that have made me have to catch my breath but this chick is one of them

Brunette , petite , big brown eyes, ass for days ,big t*ts , good sense of humour and a lovely skin tone

We casually dated for a while and things were awesome

To be fair to her she gave me a few opportunities to make her mine permanently and i blew them all

It even got to the point where one time she asked me to pick her up for sex and i refused because i was on a drug related come down and didn’t want to see anyone lmao

Unfortunately i was much stupider back then and not as wise with women as i am now

She wanted a LTR and i wasn’t ready for it at that age

We parted ways and She got into a LTR pretty quickly after that with some guy with the same name as me ( oh the irony) :yes:

I got obsessed with her for ages after all this but decided i had to get on with my life and managed to put her to the back of my mind

We bumped into each other a couple of times over the next few years , and the chemistry has always been there immediately between us and she always tells me she misses me but wants to be loyal to her BF which i respected

She split up with this guy about 6 months ago and i could tell she took it hard .......i stayed away to avoid a possible white knight syndrome and i also knew orbiters would come out of the wood work for this chick plus i was busy with my own plates

I think enough time has gone by now it’s time to make a move even if its just getting some closure with her

Question is what move to make

 

[JohnnyStorm]

Don't overthink this dude.
She may not want rekindle anything.

I'd just send something short and sweet, perhaps implying the awkwardness of matching with her on Tinder

"#awkward"
"We have to stop meeting like this"
Etc.

You don't have to try display value in the message as she already knows who you are. Her response will indicate whether she wants to meet you again or not.
Whatever you send her, just send and forget.
And if she doesn't reply, unmatch and move on.

 

[Bingo-Player]

yea thats why i turned my phone of for a couple hours whilst i figure out what i wanna do

i probably am over thinking this .....but thats the problem with fvcking oneitis you cant help and think "what if"

a 3rd person's perspective is an essential

oh she will reply thats not my concern .....shes probably already messaged me

its where to go from there im struggling with

do i attempt to rekindle what we had years ago

or do i just leave it safe in the knowledge im not setting myself up for a fall

 

[sylvester the cat]

do i attempt to rekindle what we had years ago

or do i just leave it safe in the knowledge im not setting myself up for a fall

Show yourself you have a pair of balls and delete her. Otherwise 'old' oneitis will soon become present oneitis - if it already hasn't.

 

[Zion]

Don't "rekindle". People change over the years. Hopefully you're not the same person.

Treat her as you would any other match, with the natural awareness implied by the fact that you know each other.

No big deal.

 

[Bingo-Player]

i tried and tried to resist but i cracked and messaged her,

" i knew i should have swiped left "

she laughs and starts making conversation.....starts telling me about how badly her ex bf had treated her , blah blah blah same old same old

i don't want to be an emotional tampon so i brush it off

somethings a bit different about her though she's extremely open with me from the word go and that isn't like her

she gives me her new # and tells me to text her

i text her friday and to my surprise instantly replies ( again out of character)

i tease her a bit and then make reference to finally setting a date up to catch up after all these years, she again responds well with " it will be worth the wait"

she's been away this weekend on a girls weekend away so i left her too it

this morning she double texts me ( yet again out of character)

i don't want to get dragged into monday afternoon texting.... so politely shut the conversation down and tell her I'm busy and il text her later

her IL seems ridiculosuly high from a girl who's previously been used to holding all the cards

I'm wondering has the LTR damaged her game ?

t somethings not right

she's texting me like a beta sending me silly pictures and memes

I'm going to attempt to sexualise the conversation this evening and then arrange a meet towards the weekend

I'm hoping its as plain sailing as it sounds , but in the back of my mind i know somethings not right

will keep you all posted

 

[old married dude]

Haha if you were one of her beta orbiters in the past she might just be trying to put you back in orbit, so approach it with caution & be skeptical.

If that's the case, unmatch...drop her and move on. There's too many potential FB's/FWB's on Tinder to even worry about oneitis again.

 

[EveryPostHere]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=224785

 

[Bingo-Player]

yea unfortunately its 2015 and all forms of social dating / media are here to stay

you either learn to work with them or you become obsolete

linking me to that dosent constitute as advice by the way

 

[EveryPostHere]

yea unfortunately its 2015 and all forms of social dating / media are here to stay

you either learn to work with them or you become obsolete

linking me to that dosent constitute as advice by the way

It may not constitute as advice, but it's still true. It's the fact that all across this forum people are speaking out against social media. Talking about the damage it's causing to the dating world, and how no guys approach in person anymore. But yet there are posts made on a daily basis asking for a play-by-play of how to pursue some girl from Tinder.

How often are posts like this made here? "The serious relationship I got into with a girl from Tinder is going south. We started talking on the site, AND DIDN'T FVCKING KNOW EACHOTHER BEFORE MEETING ON A FAD APP THAT WILL FOLLOW IN THE FOOTSTEPS OF MYSPACE AND MEETME. She has been contacting me less, and blew off my date proposal for tomorrow night. I see her on Instagram posting selfies in a bikini eventhough it's still late winter, and she's talking to a bunch of the white-knights who won't leave her alone. What should I do?"

It doesn't even fvking matter if you want to fvck them or be in a real relationship, if you do something in person it'll stand out. Social media is full of effeminate wusses and muscle headed douches who are DTF, and because of that they're all pretty much expendable to the modern wh0re. But talking in person shows the balls most guys don't have any more, and it'll be much more effective.

 

[Bingo-Player]

lol dude

this chick isn't "some girl" she meant a lot to me once upon a time

the fact we matched on tinder is simply a precursor for the rest of the story

I'm no longer using tinder i have her number I'm texting her and I'm not asking for play by play advice on how to text her lmao , I'm documenting the experience incase others need to reference it in the future

look around you .....90% of the population is guled to they're iPhones

yea they're might very well be a handfull of chicks on the planet that don't want to use social media to flaunt they're "assets" but good luck finding them

until then i just wanna find the quickest way stick my d*ck in some moist holes and if that means using tinder then so be it

 

[old married dude]

until then i just wanna find the quickest way stick my d*ck in some moist holes and if that means using tinder then so be it

:rockon:

Tinder is not bad if that's all you're looking to do...some of the chicks are just as thirsty as the guys on there.