“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Mastery

thefonz

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So I just finished the reading the Book "Mastery: The Secrets to Success" by George Leonard and as a thanks to this site I thought I would post the notes I took while reading it. It was on DD's reading list for DYD and I can understand why.

So here we go. This isn't everything, just the stuff i found to be important. If you want to know everything go out and read the book you cheapass ;)

The author is an Aikido master who discusses the importance of mastery.

The American culture tends to work against those who seek mastery. It mostly calls for immediate gratification in the form of commercials and glamour.

There are 3 types of people who enter mastery

1) The Dabbler – The dabbler is the person who loves to enter into new things. He enjoys that “new car smell”. He will go into activities with a roaring passion, discussing it with his friends and family. As soon as he hits a plateau he gets immediately discouraged and quits looking for the next best thing to jump into. He does not like plateaus and is the type of person who bounces from relationship to relationship not realizing it is he himself that needs to change.
2) The Obsessive – The obsessive is concerned only with results and won’t except plateaus and failure. He will lean into the instructor, stay after class, ask for outside class work and seek perfection on his first try. He doesn’t quit as easily as the dabbler but tries to keep it going while going through stormy separations and passionate breakups in relationships. He makes upwards spurts of improvement followed by sharp declines until eventually he falls hard.
3) The Hacker – This is the person who is willing to stay on the plateau indefinitely once he reaches it. He is comfortable learning a powerful serve but with a weak backswing in tennis. He likes to skip steps. He prefers monogamous relationships without grow and routine, as well as jobs where he does the bare minimum to get by and wonders where his job promotion is.

In commercials there is a tendency and focus on the climactic aspect of events and things. The runner wins the race and drinks a diet coke, men working at jobs and taking a break for miller light, or the 3-year-old blows out birthday candles while the happy family looks on. They always focus towards climactic moments. There is never a plateau but a steady rhythm of constant climax.
If our life is to be a good one, a life of mastery, most of it will be spent on the plateau. If not, a large part of it will be spent in restless, ultimately self-destructive, and distracted attempted to escape the plateau.

There are 5 keys to mastery

1. Instruction

It’s particularly challenging for a world class performer to become a top-notch instructor. Being an instructor requires a great deal of humility. The teacher must take some delight in seeing a student surpass himself.
When choosing an instructor focus on the abilities of the students. Also, watch the interaction between the students and the teacher. A teacher must make his praise very rare, not to be given out lightly and considered highly rewarding. However, scorn, humiliation, and exoneration should not be tools of use despite conventional macho attitudes. A 50/50 ratio between enthusiastic reinforcement and correction is ideal.

It is said that that best masters are often the slow and untalented students. The smart and quick learners tend to gloss over details and have difficulty when they finally experience hardship. The ones who have a difficult time are used to that difficulty and can persevere and remember details better….make sure your instructor is paying exquisite attention to the slowest student.

Learning eventually involves interaction between the learner and the learning environment. Audio and video are useful for cognitive learning.

2. Practice

Most of the masters who practice do not practice to reach a goal; they practice because they love the activity they are doing. At first, practicing regularly when you seem to be getting nowhere, but the time eventually comes when practicing becomes a treasured part of your life.


Larry Bird was said to spend 2 hours every day shooting baskets in the OFFseason simply because he loves taking shots.

“How long will it take me to master _____” –the question, “How long do you expect to live?” – the answer. Master is nothing more than staying on a path of practice. If you stay on it long enough you’ll reach states of disappointment, unconditional joy, bumps and bruises, surprises, challenges and comforts.

3. Surrender

The courage of a master is measured by his willingness to surrender to the teachings and demands of his discipline. At first you will be clumsy and have many literal and figurative pitfalls. Your first few dives will be bellyflops and you’ll draw the attention of everyone at the pool.

The essence of boredom is found to be the obsessive search for novelty. Satisfaction lies in mindful repetition, the discovery of endless richness in subtle variations on familiar themes.

There are times in every master’s lives where they must give up the old hard won competence and completely dissect themselves in order to move to the next level. Sometimes it takes weeks of failures and plateaus before becoming convinced that you must change your old way of doing things.
 

thefonz

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4. Intentionality

This is attitude, willpower, imaging, character, or mental game. Countless athletes and success stories have been the result of imagining something going successfully before it happens. They claim their success was directly related to the vividness of their mental imagery. Arnold Schwarzenegger once said that one conscious pump is equal to 10 unconscious one. Jack Nicolas used to imagine his balls soaring into the sky and getting lost.

Leonard questions why exaggerating movements in imagery can create a discrepancy from the real and the unreal. He says that thoughts, images, and beliefs have a great impact on the real world of matter and energy. Which is more real? A radio or a diagram for a radio? Characters in a book aren’t real yet you know them better than your next door neighbor. Intentionality is merely the reforming of a structure, or the transformation in the mind.

Every master is a master of vision. Being able to create that beautiful vision creates “want power”.

5. The Edge

Now comes a contradiction to the key of practice.

A master has a tendency to challenge previous limits, take risks for higher performance, and even become obsessive about it in the process. The trick with this to walk that fine envelop of endless goalless practice and those alluring goals that appear along the way.

Before you can ever consider playing this edge there must be many years of practice, surrender, and intentionality. And afterwards? More training, more plateaus: the never ending path again.

Facing Resistance after heading on your journey:

It is common in every master’s journey to experience resistance and slip back into old patterns. These old patterns are part of homeostasis. Homeostasis helps maintain a person’s body temperature, keeps family norms and societal norms in check. It is the standard to which are existence is centered around. The problem with homeostasis is that is keeps things the same even if they are not good.
Say you’ve been sedentary for 20 years and one day you decided to snap out of it and go running. Sometime into your first lap you’re going to get physical signals like cramps, dizziness, and nausea. The sensations are probably not even that significant in themselves. It’s your homeostatic alarm going off telling you, “STOP, WARNING! Significant changes in bodily physiology”. This homeostatic alarm resists ALL changes for better or worse. In another example, A father who was prone to alcohol.lic outburst on his family finally quits drinking and this upsets the homeostasis of the family. If it goes on long enough without an outburst another family member his bound to pick a fight, do drugs, or create some kind of drama just to balance the homeostasis of the previous lifestyle.
The resistance of homeostasis is proportionate to the size and speed of the change.
The trick is to realize when homeostatic alarms are going off and be aware of them. It’s not necessarily bad, just responses to let you know things are changing (which is good). Even friends and family will cause resistance. If you normally drag yourself to work at 830 and then you decide to run in the morning and come to work energized at 7 than coworkers may not take it as a good thing. It disrupts their homeostasis. They don’t wish you harm, it’s just homeostasis at work
Negotiation of the resistance is the key to long-term successful change. Know when you’re backsliding by pushing too hard against the resistance.
Develop a support system the path of mastery almost always forges social group systems.
Where do I get the energy? The human is a type of machine that wears out from the lack of use. If that is true than why do we get tired and lethargic of even the most simple tasks? Well, as kids we were forced to sit down in front of the TV to make them as lethargic as we are. In school we are told to sit still and be quiet. When conformity is valued, high energy is seen as a threat to that.
Choose your priorities once you get the energy you have the monstrous choice of what to do with it. To choose a goal is to forsake many other possible goals. “Our generation has been raised on keeping your options open, but if you keep your options open you can’t do a damned thing.” Indecision leads to inaction, which leads to despair, which leads to depression. Although the idea is to be goalless, there is also the point of setting your own goals and deadlines. Commitment adds energy to your life. Sometimes you can only internally impose goals, in which case you must make them pubic.
Pitfalls of Life
The path of master does not exist in a vacuum and must coexist with relationships, obligations, and pleasures. Is your goal realistic if does not have anything to do with work or friends? Never marry someone who does not share your excitement.
Beware of obsessive goal keeping and looking at the peak. Overcompetitiveness and undercompetitiveness are just as dangerous. The path of master is the best possible cure for laziness as it will knock you out of your haze. Dead- seriousness is also dangerous, beware of others on the path who cannot laugh once in awhile. Consistency is the mark of the master. Perfectionism is not a masters purpose, it’s a process and a journey. A master is will to try and fail for as long as he lives.
When goal occupation dictates our life, the other stuff rarely seems to count. And other stuff usually takes up most of our lives.

To be a better learner one must be willing to be a fool.
 

Huffman

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thefonz said:
Jack Nicolas used to imagine his balls soaring into the sky and getting lost.
:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:
really loved your post though
 

thefonz

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Thanks.

Sorry about the crappy format everybody. I tried to edit it to make it easier to read and skim but my computer keeps freezing when I click the 'save' button.
 
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