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Mastering Body Language

Señor Fingers

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W E A P O N S . O F . M A S S . S E D U C T I O N >> P A R T . 2 . O F . 1 5
Click the link ^^^ for the Table of Contents.
"Mastering Body Language"

Women are experts at reading your body's unconscious signals. It is the closest thing to telepathic communication there is, and yet most of us guys are oblivious to it. It is a tricky business because you have to not only focus on how you communicate these signals, but also interpret hers. This is one of the first things you need to work on. Trust me!

Film Yourself
Just as you can improve your voice with a tape recorder, you can improve your Body Language with a video camera. If at all possible, try to get someone to film you at a social gathering. It is painful to watch yourself in the beginning, especially if you are as awkward as I was, but this really helps you to pinpoint your weaknesses so you can improve on them. Highly recommended!

Here are some areas you should pay attention to:

Posture
I was once a huncher. Shoulders rolled over, head down, very submissive body language all around really. I used to approach girls and they would always seemed creeped out by me. (Gee I wonder why) I didn't know how bad I was until one of my girl buddies pointed it out to me. She was a professional dancer, and as part of her training at dance school, she learned how to perfect her posture. Although I thought it was a ridiculous idea at first, but she finally dragged me into a few classes so I could learn...

The Alexander Technique

I could go on & on about how amazing this technique is, but will just share a few highlights that helped me improve.

The Importance of Symmetry - Using your mind, imagine an invisible vertical line dividing your body in half. Try to create a sense that each half is a mirrored image of the other. Aside from the ergonomic aspects of this, it has been scientifically proven that in nature, symmetry is an attractive quality. In other words, don't cross your legs when you sit, and don't shift all your weight to one leg when you stand. Be balanced.

Spinal Alignment - Think of your spine as a stack of coins. Each disc of your vertebrae should be balanced on top of the other, with your skull comfortable perched atop. The key is to become aware of your posture, which alone takes practice. I printed the words "Sit up Straight" next to my computer as a reminder and it worked for me. When you catch yourself slumping, imagine your head as a helium balloon pulling your spine straight. Try to keep your ribs and hips aligned with each other as much as possible. When you bend over, bend at the waist and slightly bend your knees, instead of curving your spine. It takes practice but basically it is a balance of keeping yourself upright without looking like a stiff jackass. You find your alignment and at the same time relax into it. To really get a feel of how your spine is supposed to be aligned, lay on the floor on your back and bend your knees. so your feet are planted on the floor. Take a few deep breaths.

Trapezius Balance - The trapezius is one of the most abused muscles in the body. The problem is that we either hunch over too much or overdo the opposite extreme by sticking our chests out. To find the ideal middle-ground, imagine a force pulling your shoulder blades apart and widening your back, this not only helps to release the tension stored in the midsection of this muscle, but also increases your perceived width and presence. I have had people ask me if I have been hitting the gym ever since I adopted this posture! The upper section of the trapezius also suffers alot of tension, this is the muscle that stretches from your shoulders to your neck. This tension can be alleviated by becoming aware of your collar bones. They should always form a straight line, parallel to the ground. In other words, don't scrunch them up so that they for a "v" and don't push them down so the form an "A"

As you can see, it is very difficult to explain this technique with words. But the effect of it is amazing. Not only do you appear more confident, but adopting this posture actually makes you FEEL more on point.The classes, though expensive, are well worth taking...or you could try dating some professional dancers ;)

For more info on this, check out www.alexandertechnique.com

Improving your posture is definitely worth your while, but will only get you so far. I mean you are not going to sit/stand still as a gargoyle all night are ya? Sooner or later you are going to have to show some

Movement
First of all, slowwwwww down there, Speedy. By maintaining a relaxed deliberate pace, you create a subtle sense of confidence and peace about you which you completely internalize and radiate onto others. React calmly to everything around you. Don't whip your head around or dart your eyes to absorb your scenario. Turn slowly and dont let your body transmit messages of shock or fear. Act like you are GOD and the world is all yours and its all good. Carry yourself with respect/pride and people will assume you are a king amongst men.

Also don't gesture too wildly when you speak. It is great to accent your speech with gestures but your arms should not be flailing unless you are telling a fascinating story and have reached a dramatic climax. For the most part, you should try to keep your hand movements around the waist/ribcage level. Also, unless you enjoy looking real insecure and nervous, don't bite nails, fidget or play with things in your hands. Don't know what to do with those fingers? Either hold a drink, let them hang at your sides, or best of all, get some kino going!

Presence
In the animal kingdom, males are known to increase their perceived size to attract females. Exude an attractive, confident vibe by leaning back and taking up as much space as possible. In other words, try not to sit like a girl! Spread those legs like you have a 15" cøck and its the only way you can sit comfortably. When standing, keep your feet about shoulder width apart. Fill the world with your presence!

Interpreting Her Signals Pay Attention to her posture/gestures
ANXIOUS - Fidgeting, foot tapping, nail-biting, rigid posture, no eye contact, spastic motions, shoulders scrunched. (This bytch is fukkin CRAZY! Run away!)
DISINTERESTED - Feet are pointing away from you, body leans away, arms are crossed, glancing at watch, fleeting eye contact with no smile (Looks like you got some more work to do)
INTERESTED - Feet are pointing towards you, body leans in, palms are exposed, smiling or laughing (Getting warmer)
SEXUALLY INTERESTED - heavy eye contact, stroking of hair or any object in hand. Raising one eyebrow in a subtle twitch. Lip licking, side-long glances, tilting head at an angle (kind of like when you are about to kiss) Stealing glances at lips, neck, chest while biting her lip, (She wants to eat you alive)

Indicators of Interest How does she respond to you?
• You get close to her and she doesn't step away.
• She laughs a lot, even at your weaker jokes.
• You make eye contact and she smiles.
• You say something insightful and she gives you the DDB look. (Doggie Dinner Bowl)
• You tease her and she makes witty comebacks of her own (Oooh, this one's a keeper. Better keep them skills sharp son!)
• You keep teasing her and she hits you playfully (Extreme flirting, she wants you!)
• You touch her and she touches you back.
• You try to leave and she keeps talking to you.

There are tons more and I don't feel like typing them all so if you are interested, check this out:

http://www.fastseduction.com/guide/02_How_to_Get_Started/bodylanguage.shtml

Mimicking Signals a.k.a. "Mirroring"
When I first started working on my game, I would mirror people all the time. I'd adopt their pose, even their breathing in hopes that I could create a shared experience with them. It worked pretty well in terms of pacing their reality, but I found I had better luck when I just used it to calibrate their feelings and then led them with my body language. After all, when dealing with a nervous person, the last thing you want to do is escalate this vibe by mirroring it. These days I have more fun with what I call...

Extreme Mirroring
Remember when you were little and you would imitate and mock what people said, just to be a pain in the ass? This is the same concept applied to body language.

I love to do this. Sometimes I will see a HotBabe who is all stuck up and walking with an exaggerated swagger, so I walk up behind her and imitate her perfectly, pushing my nose up like I am a snob. Usually gets a few laughs from the crowd and surprisingly enough, the babe!

Other times I will come across an apprehensive chick who I can tell is a little wary of me by her crossed arms, knit brow and lack of eye contact. So I copy her to the point of outrageousness and unless she is an evil bytch, I usually break the ice with a few laughs. I have discovered this method on my own but was recently intrigued by TylerDurden's take on this...
 

Señor Fingers

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Body Language Call-Outs
When you approach girls in groups, you will notice all sorts of silent cues they give each other. Sometimes they will look at each other and smile, which means you are IN. Other times, you will see them look at each other and make a slight face and then ignore you. You have been frozen out! This is where you can use your knowledge of body language to your advantage and call them out on their bullshyt.

Here is an example from an approach I did the other day in front of a restaurant. (Thanks for the extra spin on this Stevie PUA!)

ME: Hey, just so you know, this restaurant is not the best one on the block. You should really try XYZ on 8th Street.
HB1: Um..Thanks (Totally closed posture, crossed arms and looks at HB2 like "who is this loser?" and I get freezed out by the bytch shields)
ME: Ha! I know what is going on here. (Pause as I eye them knowingly) Just now you looked at your friend and did one of these. (Copy their body language and the "look" they gave each other, then smile) You just basically told her "Who is this loser trying to chat us up? Let's just ignore him and hope he leaves". (shocked faces) I'm a master at reading body language. C'mon, you guys are going to have to do better than that!
HB1&2: (Laughing)

And so the ice is broken, because I have paced their reality perfectly and commented on something so subconscious that they were not even aware of it. I also stand out because the average guy would just get discouraged and walk away or diss them instead of making a joke about it and winning them over. How many guys do you think they meet who would react like this? That's right, practically NONE! This is why I love learning about seduction. Smooth players are more rare than HB10's!

TD's Angle Theory
When you initiate conversation with a girl, don't let your body face her. Facing someone implies a confrontation and your aim is to disarm people with your charm, not beat them over the head with it. When you spot that fineass honey, saunter over to her side and turn your head to speak to her. Once contact is initiated, let your body serve as a barometer of her reactions. The colder her responses the more you turn away from her. The warmer her responses, the more you turn to face her.

I thought this technique was total BS till I tried it out for myself. Works so well it is almost scary! I unconsciously use this technique throughout the exchange. She says something stupid or boring and my body turns away slightly. Neutral convos dont change my position at all. But when she says something interesting, I turn my body to face her and lean in slightly. The gesture seems to communicate "Oh really? Do tell me more!" It is fascinating to see her eyes light up because she has earned my undivided attention.

TakeAways
Learn when to turn your back on her to build tension and suspense.

The Turn Around - This one is great. Look for any opportunity to disagree or disapprove then turn your back on her.

YOU:Do you know how to give massages?
HER:Not really.
YOU:No massage skills? Pfffft! (turn your back on her for 5 seconds and then turn back to face her) Well are you willing to learn how to massage?
HER:Oh yes!
YOU:Alright cool, we can hang. (put your arm around her as if she earned it)

The Teaser - At a high point of the conversation, when she is laughing and really enjoying your company, tell her you have to greet other friends and you will see her around. Don't wait for her response, just leave her standing there, wondering about you and eventually missing you. If you are a real scoundrel, you can just leave without saying a word!

Body and its Effect on Mind
Use your body to communicate that you are confident, laid back and unfazed by ANYTHING. This alone will help you make big improvements. The interesting thing about body language is that it has a profound effect on your mood. A hunched back and lowered gaze creates feelings of insecurity and isolation. A head held up proudly is the first step to feeling like you OWN your life as you silently command respect!

There are a number of ways for you to get this mood boost I speak of. Allow me to elaborate...

3. Boosting Mind States
 

StockTrader

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This is GOLD my friends.

I love noticing body language at my college. Today in class, sitting in front of me were two total cuties. And this one guy was late, so where does he sit, right between them of course. Then he commits what I figured was a major error. Trying to hard in the beginning. He'd ask the girl a question, she'd be totally uninterested, then he'd push it farther while she's totally not into him. He'd take up space by putting his arms behind on the back of their chairs (this is auditorium style seating), and she'd be completely leaning away from him. Classic text book stuff of a guy trying to take up space to look more confident to attract a petite and feminine (dressed in pink) cutie.


Posture and strong EC are the two most important things IMO.
 

Evil-Rom

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Great post, as usual. :D
 
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Amazing how some of the most AWESOME posts get very little feedback.

A well deserved
BUMP!
 

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sAxyguy83

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One of the things that I think helped the most in getting my gf was learning to consciously control my body language. I got good at emitting the various signals intentionally, and did so on many occasions. I highly recommend this to all you DJ's out there - self-control is a powerful tool.

Other tools - scent. Two scents that are good for setting a mood are pumpkin pie/spiced pumpkin and cucumber. These two have been shown to get women slightly hotter than they would otherwise be. If you're dating a girl at your place, cover up the smell of garbage and sweaty clothes w/ a scented candle of one of these scents - it should help get her in the right frame of mind.

An interesting side note: Did you know that when two ppl are attracted to each other, their heartbeats actually sync even w/o them touching? Strange but true!
 

Duke

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I too am surprised that Fingers' WMS guide hasn't gotten more feedback, because it is probably the most practical, comprehensive serial that I've read on seduction. Absolutely magnificent.

As I read this chapter of WMS, I recognized so many fatal errors I was making with my body language. I'd walk with my shoulders hunched, and my eyes generally about 15 degrees below the horizon. I'd always fidget with something in my hands, be it a box of Tic Tacs or the side of my shirt. I was slouching all the time, I crossed my legs, and I'd ALWAYS end up shifting my weight to one foot.

Those are all terrible habits that I'm still fighting today. The difference now is that I'm CONSCIOUS of what I'm doing and that it needs to be corrected. I love Fingers' analogy of the head to a helium balloon. Equally vivid is his description of a force pulling the shoulders down and back. And he is 150% correct when he says to SLOW DOWN.

My personal results were immediate after I became aware of all this and began to implement it. On my first night out after reading WMS, I had a posse of HB5-7's trailing me around at a party. I had them calling me sexy, telling me to call them, etc.
However, did I change who I was for them? NO! I didn't dress any differently than I normally did, nor did I try to be someone that I'm not. I simply conveyed confidence through body language and became more aware of my vocal tone. INSTANT results, I kid you not.

Now I find myself slipping into unawareness, falling back into old patterns. Guys, you really can't read this post enough. For many, it will take time to make a permanent change to confident body language after years and years of being conditioned to feel inferior by jerk-offs and society in general. But it's worth it-- you WILL be seen differently and your confidence will increase simply because you are BEHAVING confidently. Self-fulfilling prophecy, my friends.

Get on it.
 

AmgineEX

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Stickie plz
 

Skel

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ya great post. I have also studied body language and all this information is correct. I like of the ideas here as well and will try them thanks
 

Bradshaw

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BUMP.


I was going to make a post on the alexander technique in the Health & Fitness forum. With the search button I found this post, which has more content than the post I was going to make.
 

lordson

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Indicators of Interest How does she respond to you?
• You get close to her and she doesn't step away.
• She laughs a lot, even at your weaker jokes.
• You make eye contact and she smiles.
• You say something insightful and she gives you the DDB look. (Doggie Dinner Bowl)
• You tease her and she makes witty comebacks of her own (Oooh, this one's a keeper. Better keep them skills sharp son!)
• You keep teasing her and she hits you playfully (Extreme flirting, she wants you!)
• You touch her and she touches you back.
• You try to leave and she keeps talking to you.
uh... i know a HB 8 that does all this (expcet for the insightful one) and i know for a fact she has no interest in me at all

i hope nobody gets fooled by this
 

arutha

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Yeah thats what I was going to say.. There is a lot of conflicting information, if you look up threads on how to spot an AW you will get pretty much the exact same description too. How do you tell the difference between interest and AW, or simply a girl who is relaxed with you? I guess make a move and see what happens.. A hell of a lot of people could have been blowing of girls that they think are AW's but are merely showing interest.
 

lordson

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urghh... ammendmant to that

turns out the girl that was doing all this to me did in fact like me
and im seeing her now

sorry, well this is just one example, but i think it depends on teh girl

if a girl is really flirty, then it may not mean much

depends on the type of girl i guess
 

arutha

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Yeah exactly.. In my case I have one showing all those signs who has said she isn't interested, and another showing a few but I hardly ever see her and I'm not sure its possible.

Really I don't think the signs mean a lot, its just a confidence booster. If you see them, go for it, but don't expect success, even though a lot of articles say such and such action means 100% she likes you. There are plenty who just do it to everyone or do it to people they are comfortable with...
 

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Don Juanabbe

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Originally posted by arutha
Yeah thats what I was going to say.. There is a lot of conflicting information, if you look up threads on how to spot an AW you will get pretty much the exact same description too. How do you tell the difference between interest and AW, or simply a girl who is relaxed with you? I guess make a move and see what happens.. A hell of a lot of people could have been blowing of girls that they think are AW's but are merely showing interest.
The attention hor will exhibit these signs, but of course, it will take you alittle longer to deduce that she is just that.
 

2Cool

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Before some of you go and attempt all of this start being comfortable confident with and in yourself respectively. My point here is that body language is a very subtle activity. Most of the time you don't even realize it. If you are not confident or comfortable, or whatever, it will show.

I think it would be the equivalent of learning to dance or sing without any finesse or grace because you only know the steps and words. However, the steps and words are not a part of who you are they are just thing that you do. Learn to live and love yourself, gain the presence, and the body language changes will be much easier to master. They will be transparent and not some artificial act that you are putting on.
 

Lust

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Top post mate, I plan on trying the Alexander Technique soon, actually, i plan on doing the whole Style Life challenge soon, once i get the time to go out like 30 straight nights.
 

WaRpEd

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good post fingers
 
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