master djs. kind of a different situation here.

[katzorange]

I am 29 yrs old and im dating a 21 yo woman. well we have been talking for a few months via bbm. we met a few months before that. I DJed my way to a first date. thru bbm of course lol. kissed/makeout on the first date, and never looked back, 12 dates in 1.5 months weve been acting like a couple since date 1. havin sex, holding hands etc. PDAs, she likes my friends. i like hers. bbms me everyday saying stuff like she misses me, she wants to **** me.etc.

2 nites ago, after sweaty sex, i told her "ive been calling u my girl to my friends that cool?" she said yea i asked, " wat r we? u wanna be my girl?" ( i know it was stupid of me to even ask her, but i felt the moment was right) she said "i dunno what we r", then she said "lets take things slow without any labels" i fell silent, she asked "wats wrong?" i said smilingly, "i feel embarrassed and rejected" she said "no ur not rejected its not like im seeing anyone else, ur mine." I said "forget i mentioned it. il never bring it up again." she said "y, dont u wanna be mine?" then jokingly i said "i wanna take things slow... haha"

last nite our bbm convo had a diff vibe. she was more friendly. less sweet. actually no sweetness. the word "babe" ddnt come out of her mouth. i have implemented the no contact rule. its been a day, its killing me. u guys insight would be much appreciated.

 

[katzorange]

I know when a woman put the brakes on, i should brake even harder... hence the no contact. I kinda just felt it in my gut from that one convo that something has changed.

 

[katzorange]

or am i too late?

 

[Warrior74]

in before the standard replies of:

1. 1.5 months is too soon
2. you messed up by asking her, its her job to ask you
3. follow your gut
4. pull back
5. act like nothing happened
6. spin more plates
7. next her.

Personally I would act like nothing happened and give her a little space. You jumped the gun, so just be cool.

 

[katzorange]

Thanks for the insight,

Hmmm... act like nothing happened... so continue having bbm convos with her everyday? thats not giving her space is it?

And we havent talked all of today for the first time ever, so that seems that i acted like something happened no?

im a lil confused sir. i apologize, i dont understand what u mean.

 

[Zarky]

2 nites ago, after sweaty sex, i told her "ive been calling u my girl to my friends that cool?" she said yea i asked, " wat r we? u wanna be my girl?" ( i know it was stupid of me to even ask her, but i felt the moment was right) she said "i dunno what we r", then she said "lets take things slow without any labels" i fell silent, she asked "wats wrong?" i said smilingly, "i feel embarrassed and rejected" she said "no ur not rejected its not like im seeing anyone else, ur mine." I said "forget i mentioned it. il never bring it up again." she said "y, dont u wanna be mine?" then jokingly i said "i wanna take things slow... haha"

Bush-league screwup, my man, all the way through. Live and learn I guess but you're getting too old to be making those mistakes. Back to bootcamp for you.

 

[3countriesPlan]

Big mistake there. Anyways you don't need to next. I had a problem with one of my plates back a couple months ago, when I was a bit too good too her. You must now draw back and eliminate her from your h0 rotation. Pretend she dropped off the face of the earth. When finds some way to get back in contact with you put the mack down but don't eb aggresive and maintain a carefree attitude. Develop other plates at the same time. Slowly let her earn back your attention.

 

[Desdinova]

i asked, " wat r we? u wanna be my girl?" ( i know it was stupid of me to even ask her, but i felt the moment was right) she said "i dunno what we r", then she said "lets take things slow without any labels" i fell silent, she asked "wats wrong?" i said smilingly, "i feel embarrassed and rejected" she said "no ur not rejected its not like im seeing anyone else, ur mine." I said "forget i mentioned it. il never bring it up again." she said "y, dont u wanna be mine?" then jokingly i said "i wanna take things slow... haha"

Stuff like this shows insecurity. She likes you, she's fvcking you, there's no reason to be insecure, but you brought it out anyway. Ever sit and enjoy eating sunflower seeds? Occasionally you get a rotten one in the mix and you get yucky taste in your mouth. That's pretty much how women feel when they're enjoying time with you and you suddenly get sensitive and wimpy.

 

[Warrior74]

Thanks for the insight,

Hmmm... act like nothing happened... so continue having bbm convos with her everyday? thats not giving her space is it?

And we havent talked all of today for the first time ever, so that seems that i acted like something happened no?

im a lil confused sir. i apologize, i dont understand what u mean.

What does your gut tell you to do? I honestly want to know. Is your gut, brain and d1ck in alignment? Which one is off? Which one is leading the charge here? I'm just curious as to how self aware you are.

As for acting like nothing happened, and giving her space...you give her space first. And when she contacts you, you act as if nothing happened. Act like you normally act.

 

[guru1000]

Her interest level is not high enough. Withdraw your attention, and start pursuing women who display high IL overtly/covertly.

If she is a valuable contender, she will prove it through consistent displays of interest.

Whenever you question the integrity of a rapport, think as a chess player. You both blundered by showing your cards...now think moves ahead, capitalize on her mistake and create an exit strategy.

 

[katzorange]

any more dons wana get in on this?

 

[The Proof]

Personally I would act like nothing happened and give her a little space. You jumped the gun, so just be cool.

THIS! Be cool, be more patient, have fun.

 

[Zunder]

I',m no master dj mate, in fact I've gone back to bootcamp after an awful episode. But a HARSH lesson, and so basic, that I have learn't is....never never ever ever ever be the first one (if at all) to express your feelings to a girl...never.

 

[jophil28]

I',m no master dj mate, in fact I've gone back to bootcamp after an awful episode. But a HARSH lesson, and so basic, that I have learn't is....never never ever ever ever be the first one (if at all) to express your feelings to a girl...never.

A personal lesson learnt Zunder ?

 

[Zunder]

A personal lesson learnt Zunder ?

Absolutely, Jophil.

 

[L B]

Easy there. Desperation is showing just by looking at your 3 posts in under 8 minutes. Pretend like nothing ever happened is a good first step. Observe her reaction the next time you talk to her calmly. Don't show her that the rejection has gotten to you. Worst case scenario, you gained some experience in the dating world and use it for the next adventure.

Over time with experience, you will be able to judge when it is appropriate to take a relationship to the next level.

 

[squirrels]

any more dons wana get in on this?

Is there a specific answer you're looking for?? You've already gotten several good replies, and from what I've seen, they're all saying the same thing.

 

[PokerStar]

a fellow torontonian
which area in you in katz?

 

[katzorange]

mississauga

 

[Bible_Belt]

Stuff like this shows insecurity. She likes you, she's fvcking you, there's no reason to be insecure, but you brought it out anyway. Ever sit and enjoy eating sunflower seeds? Occasionally you get a rotten one in the mix and you get yucky taste in your mouth. That's pretty much how women feel when they're enjoying time with you and you suddenly get sensitive and wimpy.

Yep. I agree with all the advice on this thread.

She's probably had the experience of guys turning into annoying douche bags as soon as they fall in love with her. Some women do want sex without a relationship, and that is usually due to past bad experiences with men.