Master DJ's I need your Help! Please!

Revilo

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Hey Guys,
I have a huge problem/delimma, First let me start w/ somethin about me. I'm 16 a Soph In HS, and I'm Hopelessly in Love with a girl. It wouldn't be that complicated if she hasn't been one of my best friends for about 4 Years. Not only is she beautiful, but she smart, funny etc.,.. Lets just say she has the works... Now this site is the holy shrine for guys like me, and i've gotten some serious progress cuz of yalls tips and help (thanks!!). But alot of the techs. and Tips kinda don't apply here. I've known her for a long time. And we're very close. I want to take it to the next level, but i don't know how. Problems: I'm Insanely in Love with her, so much so that it hurts when i see her. but i don't think she feels the same way... 2- If she doesn't and i go with the conventional methods i'll **** up our friendship...

All you true DJ"s out there, i need help, and i understand that this prolly has to do with my age, but i'm soo confused about what to do. I've heard Kino works wonders for people, but i think it'd be awkward in this situation, cuz we're such good friends....*sigh*


Any help would be appreciated, and thanks alot!!
 
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DirkPitt

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Dr.DirkPitt is in the hizzle.

Nurse, get my scalpel. Hmmm, interesting...yess yess. I do believe young Revillo here has a strong case of Oneitis.
I order some more reading of SoSuave and call me in the morning.

Fellow Docs, do you concur?
 

DirkPitt

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I bet it sucks when she talks about her BF's too right? How badly they treat her? How good of a friend you are to listen. And ur sitting there thinking that u'd be so good to her unlike those jerks?

I bet u could just about marry this girl. She has to be the one. If anyone is the one, it has to be her right?

FORGET ABOUT HER.

thats all i can really say. U've probably been too friendly and nice and too inlove to actually have a sucessful romantic relationship with this girl.
 

dbot

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Sorry buddy but I would leave things alone if I were you. By now she probably thinks of you as nothing more than a good friend, and she's known you too long. Sh!t would probably get weird if you suddenly started playing seduction games on her, and you will probably end up scaring her and ruining a great friendship. I learned this from experience.
 

AfroThunder1986

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Yea, man I know how you feel, I'm in the same boat with this other girl I've known for about a year now. Only difference is...I got the balls up and asked her...( I did it online...so I didn't use to much sense...) Anywhoo she gave me the " I just wanna be friends"...she had a b/f but I still took a shot.
Even though she said "no" were still friends. So I say go for it or your always gonna wonder what "could" of been.
 
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Cloud-uk

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lol, you hear this sad story so many times...and yes, the best thing is probably to forget her- but if your going to be all stubborn about it and not listen to us you can try this...because it'll help you progress and its better than you just deciding to carry on with your oneitis fueled afc ways!:p

Ok, listen very carefully.

1) BREAK OFF CONTACT WITH HER
if she invites you somewhere- dont go. Dont invite her anywhere
block her on all modes of comunication. Do it now.

2) IMPROVE YOURSELF
do wieght training, read a lot of this site, look in the mirror, get a ton of money and buya load of new clothes, and some nice aftershave. AND FOR GODS SAKE get about 5 other girls that you like and are showing signs of interest in you

3) SEE HER AGAIN
if after all this you still want her you'll be in a far better possition to get what you want, thing is there's a huge chance you wont still want her, and you'll realise your actually far too good for her now. Still, she will have served her purpose- incentive for you to change yourself

And your not in love! Your infatuated! Its NOT THE SAME!!!!!!!!! It is just your age, your 16- your not in love.
Take a step back and look at yourself, your acting like a big wuss. "ooo I'm in love" do you think this "perfect girl" wants a guy who's more feminine that her? No. So grab your balls and do something about it.
 

Revilo

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Lol, thanks Cloud i think i'll do that, thanks alot guys yall are lifesavers
 

Nocturnal

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sorry cloud, but i'm gonna have to ask revilo to disregard everything you said. i'll outline.

1) theres a 90%+ chance you're in the friend's zone and you wont get out
2) if you still want to go for it, you have to let her know you're interested, but non verbally. use body language
3) by putting her off to go spend a few months "improving", her value is going to skyrocket to you and things will just get screwed over.
4) again, if you really want to run with it, you're probably going to fail. but, you can still have a friendship afterwards and it is part of the MANDATORY learning process.

good luck.
 

DJoneday

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My 2 cents (Oh yeah, i know ALL of you have your faces 2 inches from the computer screen right now eager to see what im about to say...right) is that you should put her on hold (if you simply wont forget about her, which is the best thing to do) and a) Improve yourself, and b) make a goal to accomplish BEFORE you will allow yourself to go back to her (with your improved skills looks etc.). ie: Get 10 phone numbers and go on dates for at least 5 of them etc. Im sure after you do this, you'll notice that she isn't the only fish in the sea, and maybe some other girls have much more to offer. Good luck man, and if i was wrong, i beg the senior DJs to ***** me out to the best of their abilities ;)
 

Sammo

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I've encountered something similair, but by no means are my experience's identical to the situation you are currently in, but I have a feeling that my experience is similair in many ways so maybe you can learn from my mistakes.

It was in the last 3 days of grade 9 when it occured to me... these girls didn't like me, I have been put in the "friends zone" by about 3 girls. Of course I did not know this at the time because i was yet to discover sosuave.com. The holidays came and went overseas for about 3 weeks. I came back and i worked out, I got a better friend ship circle with my buddies, and was constantly improving (as i still am).

Once i returned this year (grade 10) I found most girls were looking at me in a very different light as what they were before, 2 of the girls that had put me in the "friends zone" are practiaclly in love with me.

Hope you can learn from my mistakes, a very SMART person once told me this (he knows who he is)...

"Stupid is when you dont learn from your mistakes...
Smart is when you learn from your mistakes...
Wise is when you learn from other's mistakes...
and genious is when you just know..."

Im not telling you to be genious, just be wise

hope this helped...
 
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Duff

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Dude what you wanna do is get with next girls!

Its gonna be hard but you wanna make her jealous!

Don't talk about girls with her you must show her!

Actions speak louder than words!!

When she sees you with girls and that girls want you etc she will begin to think about you differently!

She has been thinking of you as a friend probably cos you have only been thinking of her!

Trust me im pretty confident this will work.
Obviously i can't be totally sure cos i cant see the actually situation!

The problem is that she will probably go a bit weird about you and want you when your with other girls but then as soon as you show you that you've gone back to how you were before she will probably go back to how she was!

The situation sucks!

I suggest that if u have a girlfriend do not break up with her for your insane in-love girl!
Wait until the insane in-love girl can't stand it anymore and tells you or trys it on with you or something!
Then you can work on it from there!

There have been many many success stories i've read about the same situation you're in!

This girl already knows your excellent boyfriend material but she just doesn't think of you in a sexual way because your showing her too much attention!

This way of life sucks don't it!
 

Duff

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Dude what you wanna do is get with next girls!

Its gonna be hard but you wanna make her jealous!

Don't talk about girls with her you must show her!

Actions speak louder than words!!

When she sees you with girls and that girls want you etc she will begin to think about you differently!

She has been thinking of you as a friend probably cos you have only been thinking of her!

Trust me im pretty confident this will work.
Obviously i can't be totally sure cos i cant see the actually situation!

The problem is that she will probably go a bit weird about you and want you when your with other girls but then as soon as you show you that you've gone back to how you were before she will probably go back to how she was!

The situation sucks!

I suggest that if u have a girlfriend do not break up with her for your insane in-love girl!
Wait until the insane in-love girl can't stand it anymore and tells you or trys it on with you or something!
Then you can work on it from there!

There have been many many success stories i've read about the same situation you're in!

This girl already knows your excellent boyfriend material but she just doesn't think of you in a sexual way because your showing her too much attention!

This way of life sucks don't it!
I hope all that makes sense
 

Duff

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oops that went in twice
 

Sammo

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Nice advice, and by the way Duff, you posted it thrice;)

Another thing I noticed about my experience is the fact that I was not avtively thinking about the girl's through the holidays, I was almost to the point when i had forgotten there name.

I fell in love with myself, once I did that i became much more attractive to girls. Even the one's who had "befriended" me.

Hope this helps
 

Duff

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Originally posted by Sammo
Nice advice, and by the way Duff, you posted it thrice;)
Yea sorry bout that
 
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Cloud-uk

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I still think my advice was pretty good, I'm just wondering what part of it was so wrong Nocturnal?

It gets you to do something about your life, gives you incentive, and you're far more likely to forget about when your screwing other girls. I was just coming from the angle that it is very hard to simply break off an infatuation with someone, and you may aswell use your frustration ina positive way- as incentive. It also gives you more of a chance of sucess with her, instead of just asking her straight outa the blue.

Hope that clears up some of my advice, am I still wrong? I'm just concerned because I thought it was quite good advice, and I'd like to see the error in my ways:)
 

Nocturnal

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Originally posted by Cloud-uk
I still think my advice was pretty good, I'm just wondering what part of it was so wrong Nocturnal?

It gets you to do something about your life, gives you incentive, and you're far more likely to forget about when your screwing other girls. I was just coming from the angle that it is very hard to simply break off an infatuation with someone, and you may aswell use your frustration ina positive way- as incentive. It also gives you more of a chance of sucess with her, instead of just asking her straight outa the blue.

Hope that clears up some of my advice, am I still wrong? I'm just concerned because I thought it was quite good advice, and I'd like to see the error in my ways:)

boys, prepare to hear the rare dicta i proclaim in replies to threads like this.

for a while, when i first started with this stuff, i wasn't getting as many positive reactions as i had hoped for. after maybe 6 months, i realized how futile it is for someone like this guy to go after girls he KNOWS. i spent many months aiming mostly at those girls i knew who were friends of mine already, or even just acquaintances that I had known for a while. little did I know, the friend's zone is a COMPLETELY different world, and the first few impressions are the most important in sparking attraction.

eventually I started meeting a few new girls for various reasons, and I discovered that the things i had been trying were working so much better.

if you're talking to someone for the first time, you can get away with things like "and since i'm so sexy..." and they will NOT make an attempt to shoot something back at you, they'll either play along or just laugh. if they're REALLY not interested, they'll show it. if you were to say something like this to a girl you had known for a while, she might say "in your dreams" and laugh (in a joking manner).

when a girl hasn't been exposed to you, she isn't comfortable doing these things to you, but she'll be fine with you doing them to you. if you let her know you're attracted to her (nonverbally) she can start evaluating you based on whether or not she really likes you in that way. otherwise she probably won't have it on her mind. if it is a girl you already know, she already has her evaluation of you. it was based on being friends.

i could go on and on, if you need further clarification let me know.
 
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