MASSIVE LESSON: Never accept less

[Stud No1]

Im telling you guys. Don't sell yourself short. Be selfish.

I spent the best part of 3 years making excuses for my gf. She was insecure and i gave her a fool's pardon for things i would never have believed id have put up with.

In fact she cheated on me with her ex after 1 1/2 years and somehow begged me to take her back. I gave her the chance even though it ripped me apart.

Deep down i knew the girl i wanted to marry wouldn't have done that. I sold myself short. I went against my gut. I took the easy way out despite having constant doubts about things for there on.


All well and good


But as soon as she was having doubts about the relationship she starting ****ing my life up. First she started going out with her friends loads and basically being really inconsiderate. She wanted space and had no regard for me at all. Yep, after me giving her so much leeway in the past, she then turned on me. Ironic but hey, you should learn to expect this from the weaker species.

I learned the hard way guys.

I also learned before i lost my remaining self-respect. As soon as she started asked for space, i was the one to walk away. She wanted to meet up but i said, walk on. After me having many sleepless nights about what she did (amongst MANY other things) and consistently fighting doubts in my head, on a whim she wanted a break. Unbelievable really, considering the history.


Girls are all the same guys. I thought this one was different, but they arent really. They'll leave you when you're down. They'll be selfish beyond your comprehension.


Its sad but its true. Dont sell yourself short

Dont make excuses for them because you can be sure they wont make any for you when you need them most.

Not all, but girls are fair-weather partners, i suggest you be too.

 

[TheHumanist]

Don't be afraid to walk away from disrespect. I agree with that, but I must disagree on your statement of all women will leave like a "sunshine patriot" (since we are using weather methaphors...). There was a large discussion abut this recently (in the chat room and MM forum).

The real red flag was she disrespected you and you excused her repeatedly and that not even getting to the cheating and not that you stand-by her when she was down (all while she still disrespected you). If she disrespected you when you're up, you expected her to make excuses for you when you're down?

Still, sorry to hear what happened to you.

 

[up_an_up]

ya sorry about that. Like you said girls are girls. I made a mistake like that recently, becoming involved with a girl who had many "problems" with her. Its amazing what guys will ignore when they are feeling that attraction vibe. Anyways, now i only go for girls that meet the requirements ive set for myself. Its alot easier that way because you wont be guessing as much.

 

[DavenJuan]

Sorry to hear things went down the way they did...

thats just it though... we get burned, we stick around a little too long. And then this portrays us to defend ourselves in our next relationship.

There is no way for us to know 100 percent if your girl will or will not EVER cheat or change behavior. but we also cant miss out and hender ourselves from living life and enjoying those same things because we are afraid to get hurt.

 

[hell695]

****ty things happen but u gotta remember u were the better person there because even tho u could've and maybe even should've left u stuck it out till the end and it it's speaks for ur character

 

[Dilberto]

yep......women will kick us when we're down.

Let this be a LIFE LESSON....till' the day you die.

 

[jesusrules]

good tip

thats a good tip so thanks man. also I agree with what you said.
sorry you had to go thru that, that sucks man.

 

[Stud No1]

thanks guys,

genuinely, im not looking for any sympathy on my bad experience. believe it or not, its the best thing ever. Ive learned so much and also got out of a sub-par relationship (even if i couldn't admit that at the time)

thus, all im trying to convey here is a lesson, albeit of an extreme example, you can bet your bottom dollar its like this more than most guys would like to admit.

never let a girl suck the goodness out of you. they are the emotional wrecks, if you let them drag you down to their level you WILL regret it. And worse, you end up being the one left out in the cold.


as pook once said. foresight teaches gently, error teaches brutally.

 

[Mr.Sexy]

Pook didn't say that. That saying was stolen from FRÉDÉRIC BASTIAT. Please don't tell me that you think some random poster is creating lines like that. Stealing quotes is not cool.

The fact is that most of you want to be abused. I may be a jerk but I get results. Most of you would rather be liked than respected. I have no desire for anyone to like me. You can hate me all you want. I DON'T CARE! How many of you can really say that?

I have yet to meet a member of the opposite sex that is my equal. More amazing is the fact that few have any true desire to be my equal! They (like most of you) were placed on this earth to be led by the strong. Only a gay man wants an independent and strong girl or woman. I like them nice and needy. So should you.

 

[MMA Juan]

Only a gay man wants an independent and strong girl or woman. I like them nice and needy. So should you.

I want an independent and strong woman. I don't bother or waste my time with needy/insecure women. Are you callin me a gay man?

Its easy to be a hero on the forum Mr Sexy, but if you were to call me a gay man to my face, i swear that i would leave you screamin for your mom.

As for your comment, i believe it is insecure and pathetic. I'm not singling you out and flaming on you, because it does not benefit me in anyway. However, i am saying this because i don't want any newbie polluted by your idea.

A strong man who is a natural leader seeks independent and strong women. When you have the ability to naturally lead, it wouldn't bother you gaming independent and strong women- because when its natural or correctly learnt these women can't 'dominate' over you.

You are insecure, and thus like to take advantage over insecure, easy, and needy women. Read the bible, and create and gain some personal confidence before you preach that 'real men' go for needy afc women.

Peace

-MMA Juan

 

[Mr.Sexy]

I want an independent and strong woman. I don't bother or waste my time with needy/insecure women. Are you callin me a gay man?

Its easy to be a hero on the forum Mr Sexy, but if you were to call me a gay man to my face, i swear that i would leave you screamin for your mom.

As for your comment, i believe it is insecure and pathetic. I'm not singling you out and flaming on you, because it does not benefit me in anyway. However, i am saying this because i don't want any newbie polluted by your idea.

A strong man who is a natural leader seeks independent and strong women. When you have the ability to naturally lead, it wouldn't bother you gaming independent and strong women- because when its natural or correctly learnt these women can't 'dominate' over you.

You are insecure, and thus like to take advantage over insecure, easy, and needy women. Read the bible, and create and gain some personal confidence before you preach that 'real men' go for needy afc women.

Peace

-MMA Juan

Please, quit with the Bible babble. The Bible is the single most male dominated book on this planet. You must have taken one too many knocks to the head playing Aussie Rules Football.
1 Timothy 2:12
"But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet."

Genesis 3:16
thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."

MMM, I'm starting to like this Bible stuff. You are a sinner! You should be ruling over the opposite sex. So says The Bible.

 

[MMA Juan]

Please, quit with the Bible babble. The Bible is the single most male dominated book on this planet. You must have taken one too many knocks to the head playing Aussie Rules Football.
1 Timothy 2:12
"But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet."

Genesis 3:16
thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."

MMM, I'm starting to like this Bible stuff. You are a sinner! You should be ruling over the opposite sex. So says The Bible.

lol, trust me i'll be the first to admit i'm far from sinless. to clarify for you, i meant the DJ Bible

 

[Paintballguy]

IMO, this is what separates Alphas from Beta Males. AFC's will often settle for less because they are afraid to change and work for it.

 

[Quiksilver]

You're not acknowledging the big gray area between being a pushover and being a jerk.

What you didn't do was make a boundary, you had no standards for yourself, and now you're overcompensating for your mistake.

I'm not a selfish person by any means, but I know that when somebody crosses a line and disrespects me, they get the boot.

Letting that b1tch turn you into an ******* is letting her control your frame.

Learn from your mistakes and don't b1tch.

 

[Stud No1]

You're not acknowledging the big gray area between being a pushover and being a jerk.

What you didn't do was make a boundary, you had no standards for yourself, and now you're overcompensating for your mistake.

I'm not a selfish person by any means, but I know that when somebody crosses a line and disrespects me, they get the boot.

Letting that b1tch turn you into an ******* is letting her control your frame.

Learn from your mistakes and don't b1tch.

thats your simplistic interpretation buddy. truth is, it wasnt like what you say. believe me i wasnt an AFC and i did everything pretty much perfectly, this girl, in the end, just wasnt girlfriend material. I never took **** and gave her one chance when she begged for it. you can fault me for giving things another go if you wish, but im glad i did - for peace of mind. never judge me unless you walked my path anyway. just for the record, this girl was a 9 (easy) and had no intention to settle down until i blew her away. that'll sound ****y but that was how it was, even tho i wish i never bothered with her

for you to try spin it on me marks a MASSIVE culture deficiency in this WHOLE BOARD. You try to attach wrong on my part. WHY? the cold truth is, as her sister and family even told me personally, i was too good for her and she was the problem. now im out of love with her i see this clear as day and id never take her back ever. im estatic we broke up.

Why, if a relationship fails should you assume the guy is in the wrong? i bet 90% of the time you do, it just seems to culture here. im continuing to self-improve, and no doubt ive learned a few things, but all in all im proud with how i dealt with her. we just weren't right for each other. do i have to go back and have a massive review of what i did wrong? No, because most of it wasnt my fault and im secure enough to realise this.


anyway, my point isnt even about that. its about the women and the way they like to ride the bubble of success of the man, yet seek emotional refuge for themselves, whereas sadly i dont think a man can afford to show any where near such a level of weakness without it turning them off. its perverse