Marry first and only gf when you're 26

[pyros]

Hi there.

I'm 26 and I have just dated a couple of girls in my life and made out with some of them. Three years ago, I met my current gf. She's the only relationship I've had to date, and the only girl I've had sex with.

Marriage has came up a bit lately, well, she brought it up. She has talked or joked a bit about this before, but now she's somehow willing to know if it's gonna ever happen or what.
We've been living together for one year now.
This has been quite nice, and the relationship with her is nice too, altough there are two main things I don't like about her, and this two things are the main source of our arguments.

The thing is I'm not sure whether I'd like to marry her or not. I mean, it would be a good option or fine option I guess, but I'm afraid our arguments either will get bigger in time, or less likely will become smaller. Besides, I just don't know, she's been my only girlfriend, the only girl I fu****. It is not that I'd like to have sex with tons of women, it is not big deal to me, but well I think that it would be nice to have sex with at least a couple of them. Since she's been the only one, I can't compare with anything.
Now, I either end this relationship (eventhough I don't want to) or I should commit. On one hand I think I should be honest with her, and tell her I'm not sure what I want, but on the other hand she may leave and get sad. Do you see my point here?
she's had one short term bf, and another one for two years, so I'm the third. She's my age, and I understand she wants commitment here. I believe she loves me, but I wonder whether she wants to marry 'me', or she wants to settle down just because it's the thing to do.( after two bf's, after living with me for a year..., she wants kids before 30...) It may sound weird, but I have this feeling.

I don't know. The relationship is good, not super, but good enough. She has a lot of good qualities, but she has one that could be a 'red flag'. This is, in some topics or discussions, she virtually never listens to my opinion, and she does whatever she thinks is best. I've said several times that we should get to an agreement, but she always does her way. In other words, she doesn't trust my tips or opinions and she chooses hers. This doesn't happen in little issues, but when it comes to a bigger one, she does whatever she believes, even if I disagree, so we have a fight.
This happens from time to time.


Opinions?
Thank you guys.

 

[J Roc]

Hi there.

I'm 26 and I have just dated a couple of girls in my life and made out with some of them. Three years ago, I met my current gf. She's the only relationship I've had to date, and the only girl I've had sex with.

Marriage has came up a bit lately, well, she brought it up. She has talked or joked a bit about this before, but now she's somehow willing to know if it's gonna ever happen or what.
We've been living together for one year now.
This has been quite nice, and the relationship with her is nice too, altough there are two main things I don't like about her, and this two things are the main source of our arguments.

The thing is I'm not sure whether I'd like to marry her or not. I mean, it would be a good option or fine option I guess, but I'm afraid our arguments either will get bigger in time, or less likely will become smaller. Besides, I just don't know, she's been my only girlfriend, the only girl I fu****. It is not that I'd like to have sex with tons of women, it is not big deal to me, but well I think that it would be nice to have sex with at least a couple of them. Since she's been the only one, I can't compare with anything.
Now, I either end this relationship (eventhough I don't want to) or I should commit. On one hand I think I should be honest with her, and tell her I'm not sure what I want, but on the other hand she may leave and get sad. Do you see my point here?
she's had one short term bf, and another one for two years, so I'm the third. She's my age, and I understand she wants commitment here. I believe she loves me, but I wonder whether she wants to marry 'me', or she wants to settle down just because it's the thing to do.( after two bf's, after living with me for a year..., she wants kids before 30...) It may sound weird, but I have this feeling.

I don't know. The relationship is good, not super, but good enough. She has a lot of good qualities, but she has one that could be a 'red flag'. This is, in some topics or discussions, she virtually never listens to my opinion, and she does whatever she thinks is best. I've said several times that we should get to an agreement, but she always does her way. In other words, she doesn't trust my tips or opinions and she chooses hers. This doesn't happen in little issues, but when it comes to a bigger one, she does whatever she believes, even if I disagree, so we have a fight.
This happens from time to time.


Opinions?
Thank you guys.

I predict your marriage will last 1 year

 

[backbreaker]

1 year = 3/5
2 years = 6/5
3 -5 years = 5 to 1
6-10 years 12- 1
10 plus years= 30 to 1


seriously dude, you owe it to yourself to see what else is out there. you have no idea what to compare your woman to. you are doing yourself an injustice.


also, never, ever, ever, ever, EVER marry a woman who has you on the marriage clock. Because she is not marrying you becuase she loves you and wants to spend the rest of her life with you, she's marrying you seedcase it's last call at the bar and you the best available option. she's settling for you and all her friends are married and society is telling her she has to get married so she wants to get married. it will not last. if you listen to antyhing anyone tells you, because this one paragraph will literally alter your life one way or the other from here on out, listen to what I just said.

 

[Juan Don]

Now, I either end this relationship (eventhough I don't want to) or I should commit. On one hand I think I should be honest with her, and tell her I'm not sure what I want, but on the other hand she may leave and get sad. Do you see my point here?

you best be firm on your decision and stick with it. because it will change the way you both see each other after that. and if initially you said you don't know if you want to be with her or not that's all that it will take her to change her mind about you and the relationship for good.

I don't know. The relationship is good, not super, but good enough. She has a lot of good qualities, but she has one that could be a 'red flag'. This is, in some topics or discussions, she virtually never listens to my opinion, and she does whatever she thinks is best. I've said several times that we should get to an agreement, but she always does her way. In other words, she doesn't trust my tips or opinions and she chooses hers. This doesn't happen in little issues, but when it comes to a bigger one, she does whatever she believes, even if I disagree, so we have a fight.
This happens from time to time.

well depends what the argument or discussion is about. most of the time though if girls ask for your opinion they just like to hear you talk and end up doing whatever they want to do anyways. lol so it's normal. however if it's something that disrespects you or goes against what you believe in like say her wanting to go out with her ex boyfriend. then of course that's a red flag.

as far as sex with women. go have some one night stands in europe then before you get married if you decide to get married.

 

[pyros]

Hi. It is not that she wants to get married right now. It is that she just asked me if I could see us getting married sometime and when I see that happening. On the other hand, she's preoccupied about having children before she's old (she understand she would be old if she was more than 30). How the heck can you be sure if your gf wants to marry you because you're the one for her, or just because she loves you, ok, but clock is ticking? or it could be both? that she really loves you plus clock ticking?

 

[The_411]

It's never about getting married at some future date it's a test to see if you are ready right now.

Roughly 3 1/2 years and 7 years are the two checkpoints for a relatively sane woman.

Same goes for you. If you you want to get married then you should know by 3 1/2 years because that's long enough to assess her flaws, her ways of thinking/acting, her ethics/values and if she is a viable partner amongst other things.

If the answer is no or I don't know at 3 1/2 years then end it as you are wasting time with the wrong woman*.







*extreme siutations excepted although why play long odds

 

[BigJimbo]

Only get married to a virgin. Point blank. Make sure that you have been around the block more than a few times. Make sure that she is a lot younger than you. If you are 50 and looking at your 19 year old wife you won't regret a thing. At 25 you will wonder what you gave up.

Why? Because at 45 years of age you are basically still at your sexual peak. You can impregnate dozens of girls. A 45 year old women is done. 45 year old men are earning a good deal of money. They can afford some very nice luxuries. A 45 year old women is dependent on a man to take care of her. At 45 years of age you should start looking for long term love. Find a virgin that looks like your daughter. F--- America. Travel. Other cultures have no issues with it. Just make sure that you understand her culture.

A 25 year old man is like a 12 year old girl. Avoid them. They are still little kids. If you are a 25 year old guy enjoy life. Travel and learn a language. Try different things. Focus on you and your momma! If you know a language like Russian you will ALWAYS be able to find a young gf to your liking.

Just remember, you guys are years behind girls your own age. It is biology.

http://www.loveme.com/tour/photos/Ukraine-Women-July-2010/images/Ukraine_July_2010_048.jpg
If this dude knew Russian he wouldn't need a romance tour in Ukraine. Seriously. Ukraine is a place that makes you question everything you have been taught. A place where an American dude will ALWAYS be king. It will change your life forever. A male fantasy like none you can imagine. They actually look at YOU! On the street. They look at YOU. Amazing.

 

[sighsigh]

OP, before reading the responses in this thread, understand that many people on SoSuave will be opposed to the concept of marriage from the very start, simply because it isn't really compatible with PUA theory. For PUAs, the strength of a relationship depends on the woman's IL, and her IL depends in huge part on her perceiving how much potential you have to dump her.

If she knows there is little/no potential that you will dump her (because you are needy, desperate, have oneitis, etc.) then her IL drops massively and the relationship is weak... and she will most likely end up dumping you. If she knows that you have no trouble dumping her at any point (because you don't act needy, you spin multiple plates, etc.) then her IL remains high and the relationship is strong.

Now the thing with marriage is: when you get married, right from the very beginning of the marriage she will now know there is little potential you will dump her.

This is because 1.) the very POINT of marriage is to show you won't dump her ("'till death due us part"), and 2.) the dumping process (called DIVORCE) is such a big deal, requiring huge costs, complicated legal contracts, the hassle of moving out, the hassle of dealing with the children (if there are any), there is the 'stigma' of divorce, etc.

Consequently, there is no hope of having the wife keep a high IL. This leads to her losing respect for you, cheating on you, etc. The marriage simply cannot remain healthy. It will either continue in an unhealthy state, or it will simply end (as most marriages these days do).

I would be very interested to hear the outlooks of any PUAs here who have the intention of getting married or who are married, and how they will/do keep the marriage strong.

 

[Young Stallion]

Pyros: If you read your post again you shall see that you have answered your own question.....and that question is NO you should NOT marry her. You described your feelings and relationship with this girl like a dude who has been dating a girl for 3 months and is deciding whether to break it off.....not a dude who has been with a girl for 3 years and deciding whether to marry her or not.

As one other poster said, I predict this marriage to last only 1 year.

 

[Leporello]

Either way it isn't the end of the world. Life is not perfect and there are always doubts.

I can only say that in your situation I wouldn't want to settle down right now...but I'm not you so who knows?

 

[FairShake]

Can you get other girls? That's the question you appear to be asking yourself. Try cheating very discreetly first and see if you can. If you are successful go all the way. But otherwise if she is the best you can do don't fvck it up!

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

You answered your own question in your original post. No man should ever settle.

 

[f283000]

Pyros, I hope you read the posts from backbreaker and jimbo as they are golden.

Like backbreaker said never marry a woman who has you on the marriage clock.

Like Jimbo said you need to experience more women and different types of women from different parts of the world. Like the saying goes "once you start dating foreign girls you never want to go back to those american b|tches"

Don't make any rushed decisions and don't let her pressure you into making any rushed decisions that could ruin your future.

 

[bigneil]

Don't get married at 26! For a man, life begins at 26!

When I was 26 I was dating a girl who just turned 18.

 

[pyros]

well, I think her clock just started ticking now. I guess when we were together for a year and a half, and we started to live together, she thought something like 'this is it'. But I wonder if she thinks this way because I'm the love of her life, or just because, and ok she loves me too. Do you see what I mean?