"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Married women
- Thread starter jimjam
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I disagree. I had a buddy who was a married woman expert. I'm not sure how he got them, but this is what he did.MidnightCity said:
OP, if you're going to do married women, you MUST be a complete bad boy. I mean this guy said these women would tell him, "I can't believe how bad you treat me". He said that he would fvck them like an animal. He would spit on them, smack them around & all those types of things.
Also, OP, you want to be complete Alpha male from body language to how you interact (not an ounce of neediness), etc.
The above applies if her husband is a complete Beta AFC. If he is a complete ****, then just do the opposite. Get straight loverboy on her. You have to think, the only reason she is considering an affair is because her husband is not supplying what she needs.
So just take a simple sales tactic & find out about her husband & what she wishes he would do. She will tell you if you have decent convo skills. Then, just play doctor & supply the medicine for that pain.
I personally wouldn't do it because of the possible consequences. Dudes get sort of kamikazi about you running up in their wife. That's just me.
Good luck OP!
Hey OP,
I read a few of your posts. I'm not newly single anymore, but your posts remind me of my first experiences and questions that I had, when I was.
Along the way, I decided that I won't bang married chicks/facilitate affairs but that is my personal code and not a judgement. Yes there are lots of dudes who will, I'm probably friends with some, actually I know I was.
I think you should decide how much trouble you want to deal with for some *****. If you get caught (even significantly later) what do you think is going to happen to you? Is that worth it? Is risk high or is it low?
Even though I was sort of beta with her, I know what would have happened to you if I caught you shagging my (now) ex-wife but hey man everyone's different.
Lots don't get caught hence the level of risk.
Best of luck.
CJ.
I read a few of your posts. I'm not newly single anymore, but your posts remind me of my first experiences and questions that I had, when I was.
Along the way, I decided that I won't bang married chicks/facilitate affairs but that is my personal code and not a judgement. Yes there are lots of dudes who will, I'm probably friends with some, actually I know I was.
I think you should decide how much trouble you want to deal with for some *****. If you get caught (even significantly later) what do you think is going to happen to you? Is that worth it? Is risk high or is it low?
Even though I was sort of beta with her, I know what would have happened to you if I caught you shagging my (now) ex-wife but hey man everyone's different.
Lots don't get caught hence the level of risk.
Best of luck.
CJ.
sodbuster
Master Don Juan
Depends on how bad you want to get shot or beaten with a bat.... If I'm putting up with all her sh1t and you are doing her, the rage at her is going to be transferred to YOU. Flat out, if I'd have caught you in bed with my ex wife while I was married I'd guess a 70% chance you'd both be dead /30% chance I could keep my head and just file for Divorce
Tictac
Banned
Doing married women is for losers.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
jimjam
Senior Don Juan
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Thanks for all your candor. And while not unappreciated and even profitable by, I wanted to know if anyone has ever done anything like this and if so, what is their take/opinion/advice on it.
You are all correct, of course, in advising to weigh the potential risk against the potential reward. I realize that any endeavor in this realm is harebrained at best, downright suicidal at worst. And I find myself telling myself that I gotta be nuts every time I even think about this.
The situation is that I've known this woman for three years, through work. Our relationship has always been friendly if not flirty. This past year she lost a ton of weight and her banter with me has upped a notch on the flirty scale. Mine has s well. However, I'd ask her about her weekend and she'd respond with something like, "I was all alone. My husband was away with his friends." She'd always make it a point of telling me whenever her husband was away, even if I didn't ask. (Even writing this I'm thinking that I'm a no good blackguard.) Then she shows me a picture of herself from a party for someone she used o work with. Totally sexy. Tight, black ****tail dress, etc. AND she made it a point to tell me that she went alone. she'd stand right next to me at my desk and show me stupid jokes on her phone. totally non sensical sh!t. Like I really care. I never pursued it fully while I worked with her (don't fool around t work) but now that I've left I figure it's time to move in. (Yeah. I know what you're thinking. Won't fool around at work but has no problem banging another guy's wife.) And she called me a few times without my asking for bullsh!t not related to work. We all have each other's cells in case of whatever. The point I'm getting at is that she's putting out signs that she's looking. If not me, it's going to be someone else, so why not take advantage?
Morally and ethically? I see it as she's the one being untrue to her vow, not me. Does that make it right? Perhaps not. And I've been cheated on more than a few times, once by a woman whom I thought I loved more than life itself. Took me a few years to rid myself of the hollow feeling in my gut that left me with. Since then, my whole value system of faithfulness, relationships, love, etc has been warped to where I believe it's every man for himself. Not the most noble outlook but there it is. Perhaps if I met the gentleman I'd feel differently. But as it stands now, he's just an idea. and they have no kids.
Does all of this make me n a$$hole loser? Perhaps. Is it worth it? Definitely not. Will I go through with it? Not sure.
And it's not as though I have no other options. I've been dating and pursuing other women. I'm totally attracted to this one.
You are all correct, of course, in advising to weigh the potential risk against the potential reward. I realize that any endeavor in this realm is harebrained at best, downright suicidal at worst. And I find myself telling myself that I gotta be nuts every time I even think about this.
The situation is that I've known this woman for three years, through work. Our relationship has always been friendly if not flirty. This past year she lost a ton of weight and her banter with me has upped a notch on the flirty scale. Mine has s well. However, I'd ask her about her weekend and she'd respond with something like, "I was all alone. My husband was away with his friends." She'd always make it a point of telling me whenever her husband was away, even if I didn't ask. (Even writing this I'm thinking that I'm a no good blackguard.) Then she shows me a picture of herself from a party for someone she used o work with. Totally sexy. Tight, black ****tail dress, etc. AND she made it a point to tell me that she went alone. she'd stand right next to me at my desk and show me stupid jokes on her phone. totally non sensical sh!t. Like I really care. I never pursued it fully while I worked with her (don't fool around t work) but now that I've left I figure it's time to move in. (Yeah. I know what you're thinking. Won't fool around at work but has no problem banging another guy's wife.) And she called me a few times without my asking for bullsh!t not related to work. We all have each other's cells in case of whatever. The point I'm getting at is that she's putting out signs that she's looking. If not me, it's going to be someone else, so why not take advantage?
Morally and ethically? I see it as she's the one being untrue to her vow, not me. Does that make it right? Perhaps not. And I've been cheated on more than a few times, once by a woman whom I thought I loved more than life itself. Took me a few years to rid myself of the hollow feeling in my gut that left me with. Since then, my whole value system of faithfulness, relationships, love, etc has been warped to where I believe it's every man for himself. Not the most noble outlook but there it is. Perhaps if I met the gentleman I'd feel differently. But as it stands now, he's just an idea. and they have no kids.
Does all of this make me n a$$hole loser? Perhaps. Is it worth it? Definitely not. Will I go through with it? Not sure.
And it's not as though I have no other options. I've been dating and pursuing other women. I'm totally attracted to this one.
I was crying laughing when I read this. Even as I type this response, it's even more funny because the OP doesn't get it. I may plaster this one on my wall so that I never break my rule of not fvcking with a married woman. Good sh1t bro. I can appreciate the honesty.sodbuster said:
This is the issue here bro. You've let other people mold & change your values. I've been struggling with this one myself...that is, I'm trying to continue to hold my values no matter what other people do or say to me. It's very difficult, but you should take a look at this...is it every man for himself, or has your perception been changed & thus now you are turning to the dark side now?jimjam said:
If you read my above post, I didn't tell you not to do it. I even gave you some ideas on how to do it successfully. You're a grown man & you will have to live with the consequences...not me. Just ask yourself, have I allowed other people to do things to me & shap my value system or am I choosing my value system. Neither is right, but it can set you up to grow old & alone...because people do stuff to us, that's just part of the deal we signed up for when we were born.
sodbuster
Master Don Juan
As another issue.... She's lost weight because she wants a new man and SHE admits it.... How long after she lands you is she gonna get fat again? That's about as stupid as a woman on a dating site who said "I've lost the 30 lbs and I'm ready to date" Yeah, like it sin't coming back?
jimjam
Senior Don Juan
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I think the first thought of most men, when confronted with their partner's infidelity, is either rage or depression. The rage will need an outlet. Most men will not vent their rage on the woman. They will instead seek out her accomplice. I understand this is the way it works. Depression the same way. That depression needs an outlet before it gets turned inward.
Looking back over my life and some of the relationships I've had, if this happened to me now I would wonder what on my part could've caused it and then I would jettison the woman. Hopefully I wouldn't allow myself to be placed in such a situation. Of course, most people won't think this way.
And if there is anything wrong in the relationship that is causing her to seek outside the relationship, that is obviously something that the two of them should work out together. Then again, what I've learned from experience is that whipping a dead horse only makes you frustrated and tired.
Judge me if you will. I understand that this is the natural consequence of what I'm asking about. I simply want the opinion of someone who has been through it. It's akin to someone who has never drank or done drugs telling you not to go down that path as it's a huge mistake and will f**k up your life. Well, okay, but the words aren't as hollow if they come from someone who has actually been there.
Appreciate all your replies.
Looking back over my life and some of the relationships I've had, if this happened to me now I would wonder what on my part could've caused it and then I would jettison the woman. Hopefully I wouldn't allow myself to be placed in such a situation. Of course, most people won't think this way.
And if there is anything wrong in the relationship that is causing her to seek outside the relationship, that is obviously something that the two of them should work out together. Then again, what I've learned from experience is that whipping a dead horse only makes you frustrated and tired.
Judge me if you will. I understand that this is the natural consequence of what I'm asking about. I simply want the opinion of someone who has been through it. It's akin to someone who has never drank or done drugs telling you not to go down that path as it's a huge mistake and will f**k up your life. Well, okay, but the words aren't as hollow if they come from someone who has actually been there.
Appreciate all your replies.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Kailex
Master Don Juan
See, it's one thing if she were just a "married woman", but she's a married woman carrying dozens of red flags AND she is a CO-WORKER.
Think about that. Long and hard. Think about it.
It's bad enough she's willing to commit infidelity, but mixing that crap in at the workplace?
That's a whole different set of advice you need there.
I'd say doing a married woman is already a precarious and dangerous situation, but adding the work environment to it, is making it a lot more volatile.
I wouldn't. I value my career over a cheating whorre in a tight, black dress.
Think about that. Long and hard. Think about it.
It's bad enough she's willing to commit infidelity, but mixing that crap in at the workplace?
That's a whole different set of advice you need there.
I'd say doing a married woman is already a precarious and dangerous situation, but adding the work environment to it, is making it a lot more volatile.
I wouldn't. I value my career over a cheating whorre in a tight, black dress.
jimjam
Senior Don Juan
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Thanks for all of your replies.
After much thought and deliberation about this, I have decided to not go through with it. Not for any moral or ethical objection. Something that Mauser said.
Mainly, I have a son. When I first began thinking about this, I asked myself what was the worst that could happen. The obvious answer was that she may agree to it. And that would just open a Pandora's box of all make and manner of drama and insanity. Granted, this woman is hot. And I think I could get away with it. However, worst case scenario if I got caught would be some violent altercation. Now, not saying what will happen but something like that could possibly prevent me from seeing my son. Not only that, he's going to have a tough enough time growing up with a distorted sense of family. His Mom left me, married a new dude and just had a baby with this guy. My son needs me fooling around and wrecking lives like he needs another step father.
Also, I have plans to get my pilots license. Not commercially, just a Cessna. Do I really want anything f*cking this up?
bottom line: too much risk and too much potential drama. There's also the possibility that she may get mad at her husband one day and spill the beans just to piss him off. Okay, no thanks. Or, one of her friends may get mad at her and let it slip to her husband or one of his friends.
You're all right. This is just like walking into a mine field blindfolded. I'll keep trying for the women I see. Like I say, no matter what happens, I'll live and be happy.
Thanks for all your input.
After much thought and deliberation about this, I have decided to not go through with it. Not for any moral or ethical objection. Something that Mauser said.
Mainly, I have a son. When I first began thinking about this, I asked myself what was the worst that could happen. The obvious answer was that she may agree to it. And that would just open a Pandora's box of all make and manner of drama and insanity. Granted, this woman is hot. And I think I could get away with it. However, worst case scenario if I got caught would be some violent altercation. Now, not saying what will happen but something like that could possibly prevent me from seeing my son. Not only that, he's going to have a tough enough time growing up with a distorted sense of family. His Mom left me, married a new dude and just had a baby with this guy. My son needs me fooling around and wrecking lives like he needs another step father.
Also, I have plans to get my pilots license. Not commercially, just a Cessna. Do I really want anything f*cking this up?
bottom line: too much risk and too much potential drama. There's also the possibility that she may get mad at her husband one day and spill the beans just to piss him off. Okay, no thanks. Or, one of her friends may get mad at her and let it slip to her husband or one of his friends.
You're all right. This is just like walking into a mine field blindfolded. I'll keep trying for the women I see. Like I say, no matter what happens, I'll live and be happy.
Thanks for all your input.
DonGorgon
Master Don Juan
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lol she is a married slut and if you don't F her 1000 other guys will FACT... humans are natural promiscuous but society teaches us too pretend to be monogamous which only leads too frustration due to suppression of natural urges..
the longer a females stays married the stronger her desire for mother random men gets
also females can easily separate sex form love ski end if they are in a perfect loving relationship they can still go get some random **** behind walmart and feel no guilt
the longer a females stays married the stronger her desire for mother random men gets
also females can easily separate sex form love ski end if they are in a perfect loving relationship they can still go get some random **** behind walmart and feel no guilt
