"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Married Heterosexual man in heels

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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oOh Nasty

Master Don Juan
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"Anybody can wear what they want to."

True, so when someone gives you weird looks, don't get all offended.

It's funny to me when people do certain things or portray themselves in a certain way in order to cater to a particular group. I mean...who can blame him. I do the same thing. I dress well so that I can attract beautiful feminine women. Guess it's not too different from what he's doing.

On another note, I don't mind people being weird in public. But I find it sad how these weirdos are "shocked" when everyone around them doesn't react to them as if it's completely 100% normal what they're doing. Play weird games and win weird prizes. Weirdos.
 

FuzzX

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I worked with a guy like this in real life, he was known as "Talk To Himself Tommy". Nobody at the agency notified me about his personality. The first or second time I worked with him I walked down a corridor and heard these two guys yelling at each other like they were gonna fight, I was freaked out and radioed in. "10-4", came back... as Tom walked past me through the corridor. One would ask a question and the other would answer it in a different voice. It was really entertaining when the 'two of them' would read the news paper and comment on the articles. I have no idea how this guy got a government job. Glad I never saw him angry, he was a certified schizo.
 
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