"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Married after years of dating and break-ups

movistar

Senior Don Juan
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I was talking with a guy in the gym and he was telling me how he was married and his one year anniversary is coming up.
After a little convo about married life he told me a little about the history of his relationship. He mentioned that they broke up a few times and saw other people during a 5 year period. He said they dated for 5 years before they got married and that got me thinking about no contact and how they eventually got married and he says they maintained basic contact but dated other people.

What do you guys think about that?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Night-hawk

Master Don Juan
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Sounds like a chump. I'd be cautious to take advice from a guy who kept going back and eventually marrying the same woman. Unless there is way more to this story and dude.
 

movistar

Senior Don Juan
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Yeah, most of the advice I get on street sucks compared to the info I get here.
I may find out she has had three kids while they were on a break, or some other crazy scenario.
 

Married Buried

Master Don Juan
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How can someone take their wife back after she bangs other men during seperation? I could never do it. They will lie and say they didn't bang anyone. You have to get into her facebook to find the truth. Dont ever take her back.
 

movistar

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They weren't married they were dating and broke up, I don't think or he didn't mention cheating. They dated others while they were apart. They later got together an decided to get married after that
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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jimmy18

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Depends who initiated the breakup(s) and, if him, why
 

The_411

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movistar said:
I was talking with a guy in the gym and he was telling me how he was married and his one year anniversary is coming up.
After a little convo about married life he told me a little about the history of his relationship. He mentioned that they broke up a few times and saw other people during a 5 year period. He said they dated for 5 years before they got married and that got me thinking about no contact and how they eventually got married and he says they maintained basic contact but dated other people.

What do you guys think about that?
Contrary to what most here are posting it's actually a good way to go about it assuming that they broke up for reasons that are not relationship breakers (cheating, abuse, craziness, drug or other addictions, incompatibility etc.)

My father was the same way with my mother he even went as far as to get engaged to another women before breaking that off and marrying my mother.

Like anything it's all about context. There's nothing wrong with coming back to someone if the issue isn't compatibility but rather timing.

Problem is that too many people return to their exes for the wrong reasons and then they are surprised that it doesn't work out even though the reason for the break up was a relationship killer.

You really need to be sure that you are not re-engaging a toxic relationship.
 
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