"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Marriage under fixed-term contract (with option to renew)

Colossus

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Saw this bit on Yahoo, a clip off of some Fox news show. There is no link but if you go to the Yahoo home page it's right there.

Apparently, Australia and Germany are considering enstating a "fixed-term marriage contract", for 7 years, given the divorce rates are over 50%.

This contract would basically allow couples to be legally married for 7 years, and unless the couple opts to renew, the contract will expire and the marriage will essentially end as far as the law is concerned.

I have my own thoughts on it, but I wouldnt really be shocked if it happened, at least in Europe. I dont see it happening in the states anytime soon.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Deep Dish

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Care to cite a source? The news story is no longer on the front page of Yahoo and searches on Yahoo suggested what Google searches suggest: fixed-term marriages are not being considered by either Australian or German governments. Rather, simply, marking consultant Helen Goltz wrote a column on couriermail.com.au which simply made the suggestion. In fact, I can't even find any references to Germany considering the option and the suggestion made by Goltz was five years rather than seven. (However, Wikipedia shows pre-Islamic Arabs practice Nikah Mut'ah, which is the same basic thing as a fixed-term marriage.)

Fact checking aside, the idea is certainly far more pragmatic than the idea of going against our evolutionary heritage.
 

Fallen

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Haven't heard of such a thing in the news here in Germany. Don't know what to make of it. Would that be a good idea, a trial version of "marriage v1.0"?
 

RedPill

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This idea sounds interesting in theory, but in reality all it would do is create a new set of social conventions designed around the new rules of engagement.

The feminine would...

- crank up the sex, get into shape, and display her long-dormant affectionate side during a 'contract year'.

- develop a new set of shaming mechanisms whereby "real men renew their vows" (...for another term).

- morph the divorce industry into the separation industry. Instead of all the marital assets, children, income liabilities, etc being divided as part of a terminating decree, they instead would be negotiated and assigned based on the decision to not renew the marriage. All of the same perils for both sides which are inherent to the current system would still be present in the new system. Laws would change to address these challenges in the new paradigm.

The masculine would...

- become as proactive about planning the celebration of their 'free agency release' as women do their wedding day.

- ultimately have to continue compensating (legally) for the lost provisioning of their pampered ex-wives who don't have the means or work ethic to support themselves, long after the marriage lapses.

- take solace in the fact that marriage is no longer a permanent institution, yet still continue to be emotionally duped, AFC-style, into romanticized notions of 'happily ever after' by society at large. Picture the whole new subset of comedy films that would develop around the topic of pending marriage renewal. The ending would always be the same, with the guy deciding to renew with his wife through the cougar years.

---------------------

Even if marriage were reduced to an annually renewable certificate, all the inherent challenges involved with dissolving a long-term cohabited arrangement remain the same. One household must become two, and the oft-inequitable nature of who contributes what to the arrangement make dividing the arrangement equitably a challenge. Efficiencies that were created by the cohabitation still have to be accounted for.

This all goes to underscore the point that even if one holds anti-marriage viewpoints, making the decision to cohabit brings with it the same set of liabilities as marriage does. If we could simply eliminate the golden parachutes that come with cohabited couples separating under current laws, the arrangement itself could no longer be used as leverage in a relationship.

In the ideal cohabited arrangement, both sides have what they want and work from the assumption that it will end one day, even if it never does. In that regard, a termed marriage may well be pragmatic, so long as it comes with a mandatory dissolution agreement (known back before the separation industry as a 'pre-nup'). Planning an exit strategy should be the norm, but it never will be so long as most people stick with their idealized notions of love and marriage.

As individuals and as men and women, we are all opportunists, and will all modify our behaviors as our personal conditions dictate. Competing interests between the sexes in the mating game will never go away, and therefore neither will the tug-of-war that takes place between society's laws and its social conventions.
 

Colossus

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Deep Dish said:
Care to cite a source? The news story is no longer on the front page of Yahoo and searches on Yahoo suggested what Google searches suggest: fixed-term marriages are not being considered by either Australian or German governments. Rather, simply, marking consultant Helen Goltz wrote a column on couriermail.com.au which simply made the suggestion. In fact, I can't even find any references to Germany considering the option and the suggestion made by Goltz was five years rather than seven. (However, Wikipedia shows pre-Islamic Arabs practice Nikah Mut'ah, which is the same basic thing as a fixed-term marriage.)

Fact checking aside, the idea is certainly far more pragmatic than the idea of going against our evolutionary heritage.
It took some digging, but here is the video link.

I did a Google search and found the same article written by Helen Goltz along with some other snippets but nothing 'official'.

It is possible it's total B.S. just fluffed up a little bit with an "expert" interview to make an interesting segment on Fox and Friends.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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mrRuckus

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Why should "the law" be concerned whatsoever about personal relationships? What the HELL business do they have in it?


If it's going to pretend to care, just go ahead and make adultery illegal. We all pretend it's morally wrong, but we never just make it illegal. But since most of us just do it anyway regardless of morality belief, let's stop pretending and getting mad at people who cheat. It's not like anyone even holds their own personal friends responsible for cheating. It's only wrong if it happens to you, nowadays.

Marriage is POINTLESS. It's just man slavery now. A way to lock the man down to serve the woman. A way to make him financially obligated to her. What other reason is there? It's to provide disincentive for him to abandon her and the children to fend for themselves. If it were for another reason then just being together would be enough without legally making the man an indentured servant in the process. What man really wants to get married other than the false notion that he thinks will keep her around? I can't really see even a religious man logically wanting to be LEGALLY married when his religious* marriage should suffice.



*i'm agnostic so i see zero point in marriage, but let the religious have their ceremonies. none of my business and i don't want my government regulating it.
 

STR8UP

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Novel idea, but until I hear that it accounts for an equitable distribution of assets as opposed to a meal ticket for the woman, I don't see much benefit.

You can already get out of the contract. It's called DIVORCE.
 
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