Marriage, how did you pick her?

[backseatjuan]

I want to hear from mature dudes who are married happily and for a long time, preferably not those who has been married. How did you know it was her you wanted to merry?

 

[LiveFreeX]

You will know. I knew within the first minutes, it was a thought that popped up strangely into my head when I first met her... considering I was completely against marriage when I met her, it was a bizarre first thought. Kinda like "I'll end up marrying you".

5 years later, still married, very few problems.

I got a really REALLY weird vibe while dating this girl though. There was 0 game req'd, no negs, no sh1t tests, no nothing, everything just sort of fell into place and I wasn't really interested in dating her... I kept thinking, why am I with this girl!?!? I didn't feel 'butterflies' at all, I felt like I was hanging around my mother. And.... strange enough, her and my parents share such a strong connection despite her being Chinese and my mom and dad being white, they all act the same way.

I'm quite close to my mother and for the first time I was able to tell my mom, hey don't worry anymore about someone taking care of me, I found her and it was the best decision I've ever made. My wife was a virgin though, might have had something to do with it. I bought her a nicer wedding ring recently for $500 and she complained all day long that I spent too much money on something that was basically junk, she would have been ok with one of those dollar store rings instead.

I knew for a fact that I made the right decision when the bill for the marriage came in at something like $2.00

You will know, it will be so effortless to be with the person, it'll be like talking to yourself and hearing a response in a woman's voice.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

You will know. I knew within the first minutes, it was a thought that popped up strangely into my head when I first met her... considering I was completely against marriage when I met her, it was a bizarre first thought. Kinda like "I'll end up marrying you".

5 years later, still married, very few problems.

I got a really REALLY weird vibe while dating this girl though. There was 0 game req'd, no negs, no sh1t tests, no nothing, everything just sort of fell into place and I wasn't really interested in dating her... I kept thinking, why am I with this girl!?!? I didn't feel 'butterflies' at all, I felt like I was hanging around my mother. And.... strange enough, her and my parents share such a strong connection despite her being Chinese and my mom and dad being white, they all act the same way.

I'm quite close to my mother and for the first time I was able to tell my mom, hey don't worry anymore about someone taking care of me, I found her and it was the best decision I've ever made. My wife was a virgin though, might have had something to do with it. I bought her a nicer wedding ring recently for $500 and she complained all day long that I spent too much money on something that was basically junk, she would have been ok with one of those dollar store rings instead.

I knew for a fact that I made the right decision when the bill for the marriage came in at something like $2.00

You will know, it will be so effortless to be with the person, it'll be like talking to yourself and hearing a response in a woman's voice.

You got lucky.

A vibe someone has on pickup means almost nothing, because it could've been how they felt at the moment. Perhaps the day you met her it was a bad day and she was terribly *****y and you could unsafely assume she is mean, selfish and *****y and maybe it was a sweetheart.

When we choose to marry, I hope we as men use more than our eyes. In a proper marriage this other person would be your partner, which means you support each other. And you cannot know that because someone was pleasant on the first day.

I believe you got lucky in stumbling into someone who wanted exactly what you wanted and had no roadblocks to get in the way of it.

 

[LiveFreeX]

"You don't believe in the Force, do you?"

"Theres no such thing as luck"
Obi-wan Kenobi

 

[LiveFreeX]

Seems to be a new trend on forums, new guys always like to give advice on sh1t they know absolutely nothing about.
You think cause you read an article on the INTERNET you suddenly know about all women? Get back to me when you've been here for more than a couple months and put in your time. I didn't come to Asia out of luck buddy, it was researched, planned and reviewed and weighed against other countries with similar women. You aren't going to find this caliber of woman on American soil, that place is a breeding ground for narcissistic b1tches and know-it-alls. MGTOW are a bunch of quitters and losers, rejecting marriage and stomping on all broads is much easier than putting in the time and effort to look for healthy ones.

No fate except the one we create.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

"You don't believe in the Force, do you?"

"Theres no such thing as luck"
Obi-wan Kenobi

There is luck...

Like I was saying a "vibe" you catch when meeting one might not be their permenant or predominant spirit. It may have been for that moment and that spirit may have reacted to the "new"... Which is not a good basis for a long term relationship.

Of course in a LTR it's great too have "love", "lust" and "attraction" along with comradery, respect and other qualities. You cannot determine this in a moment of meeting someone.

As a matter of fact most put their best foot forward initially. Also many are addicted to meeting people, so that persona you deal with is much different than a persona you would deal with in an LTR.

Congrats of meeting the one though and I hope she satisfy you from her breast for the rest of your days. Proverbs 5:19.

 

[Epimanes]

My wife and I kinda rescued eachother from our parents and I knew within 2 1eeks and gave her a promise ring. We moved in together before we both finished high school and still managed to finish and pay rent. We are 36 and 37.. Married for 17 years and together since we were 15 and 16. So we have been together for darn near 21 years. 2 kids... 17 (daughter) and son (11). I dunno exactly what pin pointed her as the one but she had the strengths I needed and vis versa from the beginning.. There has been a lot of turmoil over the years though... Being with the same woman for that long we have had to adapt to a lot of changes in many various ways.. Inculding thereapy to reverse or help reverse our fvcked up upbringings that skewed our views and though processes on many things. Overall I am glad we came out ahead and that neither my wife nor I ever physically cheated on eachother during the dark times. Stronger today than ever. Sex on the regular.. Smart kids.. Can't really ask for more other than maybe some more of my youth back with my current know how.

Epi

 

[prison/con.net]

my meeting my wife was definitely luck, but i also put myself in position for that luck to happen. I was touring an Asian country when I ran my personal ad on a dating site there. I'd had a dud with the gal I'd come to see (in less than 3 weeks, after emailing her for 2 years). I then hooked up with my (later to become) wife in less than a week. It took about 3 months of near 24-7 experience with each other to confirm what we both thought the first week, tho.

 

[zekko]

I want to hear from mature dudes who are married happily and for a long time, preferably not those who has been married. How did you know it was her you wanted to merry?

Maybe I don't qualify to answer this because I wasn't married that long. We were married about six years, but we were together for 10. I'd say five of those years were happy ones. Anyway:

I knew after our first date that we would end up getting married. I could tell by the questions she was asking me. She was screening for a partner, and the things she was asking indicated that the things that were important to me were important to her, and that we had a very similar view on things.

The way I found her was I just kept going through women. Some serial dating, some plate spinning, all very casual. She stuck out as being different from the others.

 

[sodbuster]

UNFORTUNATELY, I "clicked" with a woman who was like my dad.... who I don't have a great relationship with. BUT since I knew how to deal with HIM, I could deal with HER and it seemed comfortable. Fairly common to try to fix your childhood "problem" with a partner who is the same..... You'd want a "re-do". Found THAT out later on when I read a book..... Not a good idea to try

I DID look at genetics before I agreed.... kind of like I was picking a brood mare. BUT my boys are BOTH over 6'2" ,200lbs and are at the top 1% academically, so SOMETHING went right with THAT part of the plan