"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Marketing is out of control

Vulpine

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I visited a friend at the restaurant he works at the other night. While he was working, he let me chill in the back in the kitchen with him while whe chatted.

So I'm sitting there, looking around, and I spotted a bag of "bacon bits". Sysco Food Service labeled the bag like this:

"Genuine Imitation Bacon Flavored Bits"

I couldn't stop laughing.

"Really Fake"? or "Really, really fake"? or "Really fake, fake"?

:confused:

"Yeah, but, are they real?"

"What does imitation bacon taste like?"

"They're the real fake faux deal!"

"Pardon me, would you happen to have any 'genuine imitation Grey Poupon flavored mustard'?"

"No, no. I wanted the 'authentic artificially flavored bacon tasting pieces', not those. Ok, well, if you don't have any of those, I'll just settle for some 'real mock bacon seasoned morsels'."

I just had to see, I just had to look:

Soy solids, salt, monosodium glutamate, artificial flavor, sodium benzoate, partially hyrdodgenated soybean oil, etc... Mmm, tastes just like bacon!

And people eat that stuff?

:crackup:

This is just one of the reasons I don't go out to eat at restaurants.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Bad_Lil'Pixie

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The window sticker on my new vehicle listed (for a mere $200.00) an:

All terrain/environment digital compass.

Now, maybe I am dimwitted here, but won’t north still be north when I hit a bump in the woods when it is raining?

It also features a NON-SMOKING package (for a mere $125.00).

This means it has no lighter and a sticker inside the would-be ashtray of the universal non-smoking sign.

So yes, I fully agree, “marketing is out of control”, BUT since it is how I make my living I will only say, I am glad it offered you a chuckle and here’s your 40% fat - low fat cookie!
 

diplomatic_lies

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Actually, a lot of vegetarians eat fake meat.

With the compass, "all terrain" can refer to it being shock and water proof (ie. it won't smash into little pieces when you accidently drop 100 pounds on it).

Just be a man, cut out the emotions, and research the product logically. Examine all its specifications before you buy.
 

Vulpine

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diplomatic_lies said:
...Just be a man, cut out the emotions,...
Yeah, BLP, just be a man and cut out the emotions, would ya?!

:p

Check it out...

BL'P is a "genuine imitation man flavored woman".
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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