"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Manly Mature Serious Fatherly Figure vs Fun Smiling Playful DJ

thechosenone2190

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I'm a little confused as to what a true DJ should be like. Some people on this board look up to Clint Eastwood with his serious and manly demeanor who doesn't take bulls*** from anyone, while others say a DJ should be playful and smile and doesn't take anything too seriously like Will Smith. These are two complete opposite personas, and I'm really confused as to what kind of person an aspiring DJ should strive for.

Frankly, I'm not a serious person deep down. I love to be positive, act goofy and not serious, and smile, but I'm a little insecure about my self image. Of course, I don't go overboard with the humor, but still...to what degree should a DJ exercise maturity and overshadowing manliness? Is there a balance that needs to be struck?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Julius_Seizeher

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This really is the question.

The stoic Eastwood figure prevails in blue collar circles, whereas a Will Smith is more welcome in less serious and hypermasculine circumstances.
I will say, the obsession with looking like a serious tough guy is a maintenance-intensive one. Why not relax and not be so worried about the perceptions of others?

I think the next question a logical DJ asks himself is, "Which one is better for me, judgment be damned?"
 

Warrior74

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A Dj this a Dj that. Man that DJ term is so lame. Some fake ass Ideal. Be the man you really want to be. That guy you want to be but you always pull back and stop short of being because you are worried about what other people think. Be congruent on the outside with the person you are on the inside. Be authentic, genuine, real. Those are the people other people love. Those people who what you see is what you get, they are themselves 100%. Release those self imposed mental shackles, ignore the voice that says, you cant do that/say that/what will people think. That's what's stopping you, not trying to be Will Smith or Clint Eastwood.
 

Atom Smasher

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I'm the Clint Eastwood type just naturally (even down to a similar voice), but I think I usually have too serious look on my face.

Lately I've been experimenting with smiling, and I must admit I feel like a douche when I try. I think it's like anything else, play to your strengths but moderate them so they're there but not extreme.
 

Huffman

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Yeah I just want to add that many guys round here might think they are "the Clint Eastwood type" and in reality mean they have a grim face, don't talk much and always walk away from any social situation. Remember that all actors in awesome films are supported by their cameras. Had not the spotlight been put on him, nobody would have noticed his awesomeness.

Since you're twice as old as me, I guess you got that working for you (or so I hope!). But just sayin, being a loner can really swing both ways.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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ThreeStorms

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It's all about variation. Don't be predictable. What I love is looking deeply into their eyes, say in my smoothest voice 'there is something I have to tell you now'. When they die in anticipation, I say the most mundane thing possible. Silly fun.
 

Atom Smasher

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Huffman said:
Yeah I just want to add that many guys round here might think they are "the Clint Eastwood type" and in reality mean they have a grim face, don't talk much and always walk away from any social situation. Remember that all actors in awesome films are supported by their cameras. Had not the spotlight been put on him, nobody would have noticed his awesomeness.

Since you're twice as old as me, I guess you got that working for you (or so I hope!). But just sayin, being a loner can really swing both ways.
Reel in that imagination. You're doing a lot of guessing and speculating there based on what you think "must be".

You're speaking for "many guys", as you say, but as for me, I don't have anything "working for me". I never tried to emulate Eastwood. I simply mean that I'm naturally similar in demeanor, and I was naturally was born with a similar voice. Just because someone has some similar characteristics does not by any means mean that he is a "loner" or "walks away from any social situation".

I will grant you the "grim face", which is precisely why I replied to the thread. I'm looking to find that balance, but as I said it feels a little douchy to walk around smiling when it doesn't come naturally; So I think the thing to aim for is to balance out our strong characteristics by being willing to change to an appropriate degree, while still maintaining congruence with our basic personalities. For me I think that would mean smiling more in social situations but avoiding walking around with a big grin on my face (which some other guys do pull off effectively).
 

Ease

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Will smith is very beta in some of his roles. The smiling goofy guy is not good in any case.

Masculinity is what attracts the opposite sex. If you are trying to pull girls, then you want to be masculine.

Clint eastwood has the perfect game. Put 70 year old clint eastwood in Will smith's body, and girls will go crazy for him.

As for your question, clint eastwood is the king of role models. And clint eastwood is never a father figure, he is always a badboy. He plays the lovable ******* that you respect and want to please.
 

Huffman

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Atom Smasher said:
Reel in that imagination. You're doing a lot of guessing and speculating there based on what you think "must be".

You're speaking for "many guys", as you say, but as for me, I don't have anything "working for me". I never tried to emulate Eastwood. I simply mean that I'm naturally similar in demeanor, and I was naturally was born with a similar voice. Just because someone has some similar characteristics does not by any means mean that he is a "loner" or "walks away from any social situation".

I will grant you the "grim face", which is precisely why I replied to the thread. I'm looking to find that balance, but as I said it feels a little douchy to walk around smiling when it doesn't come naturally; So I think the thing to aim for is to balance out our strong characteristics by being willing to change to an appropriate degree, while still maintaining congruence with our basic personalities. For me I think that would mean smiling more in social situations but avoiding walking around with a big grin on my face (which some other guys do pull off effectively).
Come on, don't take offense at something that wasn't an insult at all. I'm not doing any speculation since the idea of the badass grim cowboy has been a role model for as long as I can remember. C.E. is a loner and walks away all the time, so for people like us it might be not always good to literally want to be like him ;)

Also with the "working" part I mean your style or personality. Everybody has his own, and as you said your style is similar to C.E.'s, I hope it works for you in the way that you're happy with it.

P.S. i can't smile when i'm not happy either.
 
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