Manipulative, insulting cousin, how to handle

[usernamedox11]

Made a little joke with a cousin about an idea he had and him being dumb for thinking it would work in a very light hearted way.

He goes off in a rage and attacks my character, my own achievements, etc etc. This same guy invited me to hang out with his friend and he proceeded to try and make fun of me the whole time (he's in his mid 30s) to look cool in front of his friend, but I'd diffuse it all and make it look dumb and it was obvious his friend thought he was being an @sshole and told him he was.

Or when we hang out, he'll constantly invade my personal space boundaries, and try to physically impose himself on me and act as if it is some kind of joke.

After going into that rage, I told him he didn't have to go that far as I was just joking with him and he called it "tough love," said he was doing it to motivate me improve (obvious BS) and called me a brother to him. It was obvious BS as he was just butt hurt.

This is the same guy that whenever his GF does something for him, he thinks it's a form of strategy on her part to get him to fall in love with her.

The thing is, I honestly think the guy is a narcissist. While he's there when I need him and whatever, he doesn't seem to get that he needs to be more respectful and I'm not sure whether just cutting ties with him would make me look butthurt or if it's worth trying to set a boundary with him and him sticking to it. I'm 10 years younger than him and all of that plays into it, I think. He looks at me like i'm a kid.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

It's politics on personal image. He is aggressively making himself look better than you. Some women won't fall for it, as it looks like too much of a pr1ck. Others like this kind of thing.

You gotta stand your ground, but if it's going to keep being a problem you might not be able to be around this cousin.

 

[logicallefty]

Agree with DaddyLongShanks, you must stand your ground. In the case of a cousin you might consider really giving some deep thought into him as a person and then hit him where it hurts in front of others. Bring up some subject that you know will strike the nerve of his jugular vein and hurt below the belt. Put him in his place. Then be prepared to walk away and never talk to him again if he doesn't come to his senses and show you some respect.

 

[Boilermaker]

He looks at me like i'm a kid.

No offense, but you sound like a kid.

Don't worry about what other people think so much. In 10 years time, you'll realize how little it matters what this dunderhead thinks of you or not.

If he pisses you off, cut him off, or just set your boundaries. He can only invade them if you allow him to do that.

 

[Mike32ct]

I wouldn't bother with this guy.
You don't need somebody that talks down to you and borders on bullying.

Off topic, I never bothered with any of my cousins except for just being polite at family reunions. They were also about 6 to 10 years older than me (so we had little in common growing up), and they were all VERY full of themselves (so I get the narcissist part).

 

[glass half full]

Leave his ass, and theirs, alone.
hanging with mentally poisonous guys/gals leads to your self destruction.
Take it from someone who stuck it out til it kicked my ass. Health wise...
Not worth it. Find others to mingle with. Seriously, shut them the **** out of your life.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Im sure to remind him of when he was used to pee his bed when he was 10 would make an interesting talking in front of his friends.

Since its obvious that you dont need such a person in your life.

However establish if its worth or not, people with a huge ego, high insecutiries and low self esteem tend to be vengeful when picked.

Read this

 

[Julian]

Slap this guy the **** up. If someone is acting like that you need to call it out on the spot. A strong hey mother ****er, those are fighting words...react accordingly.

 

[mangotot]

Leave his ass, and theirs, alone.
hanging with mentally poisonous guys/gals leads to your self destruction.
Take it from someone who stuck it out til it kicked my ass. Health wise...
Not worth it. Find others to mingle with. Seriously, shut them the **** out of your life.

This is good advice. Never entertain poisonous people, it's not going to do you any good whatever. Given this dude us family, he might b a bit more harder to shake off.

 

[Alvafe]

I follow the line of not waste time with him, what he bring to you in a whole? just someone jealous, insecure and wishing to get even on you (note the even is when he feels you are sufered enough with will never happen). drop him anytime he invite to do something says you are busy with something.

quick history since I ahd something like that, but he was a friend of a friend during my college days, he was like youa re saying always trying to belittle me and trying to look cool and make fun of me, thing is he was too easy to being picked and messed around and put him on his place every single time, and my firned once told me he didn't like me because I made fun out of him, told him(since I knew he was saying this because the otehr said so) if he feels so bad about it then he should stop trying to mess with me he wouldn't win and I don't care if he likes it or not I will put him on his place.
after that he stoped to being annoying and tried to avoid all contact with me with I serious don't care.

so in short put him on his place and make your time with him short, he is jsut a waste of time

 

[usernamedox11]

thanks for the advice guys,

apparently he got into it with another one of my cousins...it's just hard to avoid him, he's been constantly texting me asking to hang out but i've been trying to ignore him

I ignored him for 4 months straight one time but he kept constantly emailing me/texting me until I finally just gave in

 

[Boilermaker]

Keep him close, hang with him and improve your outlook and inner game.

Use him as a training partner. If he invades your space, tell him explicitly it's not cool. If he behaves, reward him.

It has similarities to dealing with women, don't be afraid of him, make him afraid of you ... !

It's all about the inner game ..

Good luck !