Man im tired... (long read but hopefully understandable)

[IM0001]

In the whole bustle of life, work, school, dating, etc. Do you guys ever just get really tired of the whole thing? Do you ever just get tired of people, women, firends, etc.

It just seams lately that I have to work my ass of to get anything done. School is a given and work is actually quite easy, but people just tire me out. Its no longer fun for me to just meet someone get their names and numbers, and try the whole get together/dating time with them. Maby its my current stressed, tired state but I just can't shake the feeling that I want out for a few months just to recoup and relax. The only problem is I hate relaxing and doing stuff alone. I am an outgoing guy who liked to meet people, hang out, and do fun things with others. People that just like to party every weekend by getting drunk and just standing around not really meeting new people just bore me. I like to get out and do more outside of the house stuff. Movie, golf, bowling, etc. I can go to an extreme since I do so many things but it will take close friends to get an invite for thoes things.
Its the same in this situation with guys and girls that I know. Sure a party here and there is fun but man I can't stand the whole process again and again.

Then comes the dating scene, or as I should put it, the pre-dating scene.
I love my college and there are busloads of beautiful and fun women everywhere. I can preactly walk up to 9 out of 10 and they will respond friendly, have a good chat about something, and heck getting numbers is too easy. Its always the follow up that just never goes good more than 1 out of 10. I keep it cool. Wait a week or so before doing much with the number (i go to school 2 days a week and most everyone ive met work on the other days.) So i like to plan out a date for thursday-saturday, earlier in the week. (like mon-wed at the latest). In doing this I look ahead in the week, see what I have planned and what time I might have open, then make plans within that timeframe.
When the time comes 90% of my dates flake on me for no apparent reason. Its like noone I meet has the integrity or honesty to call me ahead of time to tell me something REAL came up or just the honest that they cannot make it becasue they are busy with school or work (retail sucks and I can understand the preasure from college work). One thing that gets me a lot here is that they never offer to reschedual and take some initiative to tell me what their schedual looks like and if I can fit into it. Its always me taking the initiative to do anything. With this being a pretty regular regume I always try to have a backup plan. Sometime with others, sometimes with myself doing something that I like to do. It just sucks becasue I love meeting women and being out doing something with them. The whole process to get to that point though sucks beyond all reason to me.
Technoligy ATM really just pisses me off and makes me wish I could live at least 10 years ago at this age. Text messaging and caller ID really just make people more selective on who they wish to talk to and or whether they want to talk to you at all when a text will get the message across as impersonal as possible.
I will usually always be the first to call a girl up and try to set something up. If its related to school I will most always leave a message becasue I just need some help, advise on homework, etc. If they ever respond before the class it usually is with a text message and usually never fully satisfies my question or request.

ATM I have been workin on a girl ive known from a past class I took at my JC a year ago. I never really tried anything with her up untill last January. Every once in a while id just text her seeing how things are doing and how school is. We are both in the same major and doing almost all the same classes at different times so I like to know what im going to be up against and visa versa.
Over the Christmas break in January I finally got a date out of her and it went quite well. Good vibes, good conversations, and a after date text tanking me for a great time.
Not a week later I got a second date to a play and such and even that one went quite well. Everything seamed to end much better than any of my other first dates and that really was the first 2nd date ive ever gotten.

So i play it cool and such. She is really busy working full time and taking 5 classes every tues and thurs so I can believe her when she says she is busy.
But out of being in school for the last 9 weeks we have met up once for lunch between a class. When we did everything felt good. Im playing it cool. Just throwing a little C&F at her (she definitly is one to tease but she responds differently to different subjects so I do have to watch it or she gets offended) and she ends up being all goofy, hitting me with her backpack, hitting me when I say something thats fully obvious and true and she is like OMG you Slacker! and such.

Everything she does is textbook she likes you kind of stuff.
Even in the end she gives me a full frontal hug with a little moan oooh... kinda thing to it. you guys know what im talking about. Not quite sexual but just a really good hug that last a tad longer than your average friendly hug and run.

Then now im just kinda stuck. She did say she would text me ("text" again Ill say something on this later) and we might hook up after her last class on thursday.
Well thursday rolls around and after her last class im waiting an hour or so. Have to be on campus till late anyway due to some team stuff so it wasnt out of my way (backup plan like always) And i never get a text.
I text her some hours later and see if we were meeting up today and she said she went home and was going to crash. So im kinda disapointed becasue I always look forward to seeing her and she flaked again on a little get together but I could definitly relate to the being tired since she and I have said we both have gotten like 3hrs of sleep a nite due to school and work kicking our asses.

So ive left it there. I get all these good vibes and such bit it never seams like she will initiate contact (I WILL NEVER GET A CALL OR MESSAGE FROM ANYONE IN MY CONTACTS INITIATING A GET TOGETHER OR DATE EVER) and she will only text.
She does have a Trio which is built for text messaging as is my ppc6700 now, but still I know she has a phone plan and probably weekend minutes so why in the hell would a girl have a great times with me and like talking with me, but will not ever call back. If I do call her she will text back its just that lame. In class, I can understand, Working, I can understand, Driving, I can't understand, at home, I can't understand.

I am thinking of waiting a week before any contact with her (as well as work on some homework for an up and coming midterms week ugg) and like usual try some of the other women in my other classes for dates.

Its just tiring and anoying for me. I hate the work it takes to get dates and I hate the impersonal use of text messaging to communicate, let alone set up dates.

*sigh*


Long read I know but if anyone reads through It and can give me some advise I can't seam to think of atm that would be great.

This busy, texty girl isnt really oneitus but she is worth working a little for when you finally get to be with her. Finally a single, beautiful, tall, woman who doesn't anoy me in person and I can have fun with. But just a PITA to figure out dates with. ARGH.


-The Bob

 

[Jay Jay]

Yo Bob.

First piece of advice; use more paragraphs. More people will read it.

Anyway.

On the "over it" side of things, I hear ya brother. I used to be kinda the same, hated being still but just wanted a break, but as soon as I slowed down I'd get bored.

What fixed me up was a good holiday. Sat on a tropical beach for ten days doing **** all. It was in a pretty isolated spot, no hot chicks about, no night clubs, I didn't take my phone, I didn't check the net, didn't watch tv... I just dropped out completely.

First couple of days I thought I'd explode. Then I slowed right down. So get away for a while next break from school you get.

About the flakage factor... Really, alot of the pick up stuff is designed to get phine numbers and thats it. In real life you often have to show more personality, make a deeper connection etc etc... So maybe you need to invest more time than to just get the digits.

As for texts... **** it... tell the girls you don't do texts, if she wants to talk to ya than to call.

About never getting second dates... Do you show sexual intent? Personally, if I am dating a girl and there is no sign that she wants to get naked with me (it doesn't have to be that night... it just has to be on the cards) I am not giving her a second date.

Girls want sex as much, if not more than we do. They call it "chemistry" and "connection" but what they are really talking about is sex. Plain and simple.

If they can't see you as a guy who is going to initiate some lovin then they are gone.

Okay, this chick;

Don't get bummed by chicks not calling or texting. It really is just a waste of energy. There is absolutely no use in thinking about it. You said you are a busy guy, if a girl doesn't call you or text go do something else.

About not calling her for a week, yeah a lot of guys claim that is the way to go in this kind of thing... **** that I say, if I wanna see a chick I call her.

Sure she might be sitting there wishing you called her but on the other side of the coin she might just be like "well if Bob doesn't call I'll go see Jay Jay."

I also think that game playing of not calling to make her miss you is the kind of thing that chicks do and if you are a cool guy you don't need to do that ****.

Finally: Chin up son. Girls will not chase you. End of story. The quality that divides the guys who get lots of girls compared to those that don't is the ones who do put the energy into chasing.

If you can't be bother thats cool, You don't HAVE to be obsessed with ****ing.

Cheers
JJ

 

[IM0001]

SO true on getting away. Sadly my family and I only go to Hawaii once ever 2 years (Timeshare. 1Week a year. Every 2 years = 2 wonderful weeks)

Last time I was there, there was nothing to worry about. I was so relaxed my sister and mom both noticed I was different. I just enjoyed every day becasue there was nothing I NEEDED to do. We have already done most everything there is to do on Maui so instead we were diving a lot and man that was fun. I can't wait till next march. Untill then I will need to see what I can do this spring break.
Wonder if it would be worth a shot to see if I can get this texter girl to get a day off during the week just to go to Carmel for the heck of it. Wonderful place and very relaxing during the week.

If not her I can always try around or just go alone. I just need some relaxing down time. Im soo burnt out..

 

[Obsidian]

i'm getting pretty tired of my college scene too, Bob. It really seems like most of the girls are either wh0res (oversexed) or prudes (asexual). Not real sure what the deal is with that, but hardly anyone wants to actually get in a real relationship.

But Jay Jay's advice to convey sexuality and bail if she doesn't reciprocate is something I should consider, I guess.

I'm definitely looking forward to spring break next week to recuperate a little.

 

[IM0001]

Quite true. There are a few of us guys that just don't care to screw everything we permit to be "hot", and would just like to have a caring, reliable, loving, female to sort of share the burdens of life with. At our age it seams like finding one of thoes women single is almost impossible. The taken ones definitly show their great quality and you can't help to hope they are happy becasue they are wonderfull people that don't have a hidden agenda and just want more out of life.

I feel that it is important to have a LTR around the 20's to search for a wife. When my parrents married 1 week before turning 20 (both of them) they did so in a time when that was more normal and they were definitly ready to take on the world a lot more than many of us in our 20's these days. But also they grew together. Taking 10 years before having me show up was pretty awesome IMO. 10 years to make sure things work out, have fun with just the 2 of you, and finally prepare for kids to enter the picture.

I just hate the fact that I hold these values and want to share them with someone but no woman my age is on the same page. The only thing that kinda bugs me is the fact that I do not want to be 30 before I marry. In turn I dont want to wait 10 years to have kids then if you know what I mean. Being too old to enjoy your kids when they hit 18-20 would definitly suck when my relationship with my dad has been this great....