man do girls like gentleman or a$$hole?

[moneyisking]

you see, I am at point of life where i have stopped for one moment and wondering why I suck with women (more correct to say why i suck with myself b/c self-confidence and happiness can solve all woman problems). and i found out that all this time i have been focusing on being a d!ck in fear of being a nice guy (made horrible mistakes before being "nice"). But my strategy never worked, i didn't feel myself and always sad and depressed.

i'm 21, no sex, no girlfriend, so i'm thinking maybe some people are born being better with chicks by being gentleman (still avoiding beta nice guy). there was time in middle school when all the girls loved me and asked me out but i was too young to care about girls; i don't think i acted like a jerk back then still. so what do you think?

also one thing. i kind of gave up on white girls since it seems like they are naturally inclined to find asian guys unattractive. asian girls are more open to me sexually although i think my lack of experience and preference for white girls caused me to not get any oyster. I see some ugly a$$ white dudes who are not gym jocky as i am get girl friends. America is weird place... hahaha

 

[powpow]

yeah man its rare to see a white girl with an asian guy. sorry, its just how it is.

but honestly, in my opinion, asian chicks are just overall better catches than white girls, at least where Im from. family oriented, loyal, Im trying to think of another word besides subservient, but subservient, and really tight poonanas.

in response to your question, being a complete **** is a total DHV man. you gotta mix it up. I find that a variation between the two shows a type of well roundedness and confidence. also keeps them guessing. like mixing post college education vocabulary with vulgar language. being too nice? lame. being a total ****? very lame.

gentleman like behavior shows a confidence and good breeding. rock it.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Refering to the title: Neither, just traits.

 

[powpow]

this is so brilliant I cant believe youre 15

 

[moneyisking]

the mix of two.. balance seems like everything

 

[dudewut]

i'm 21, no sex, no girlfriend, so i'm thinking maybe some people are born being better with chicks by being gentleman (still avoiding beta nice guy). there was time in middle school when all the girls loved me and asked me out but i was too young to care about girls; i don't think i acted like a jerk back then still. so what do you think?

also one thing. i kind of gave up on white girls since it seems like they are naturally inclined to find asian guys unattractive.

title: I think you can be an ******* and a gentleman at the same time. You can hold doors for them and be oogling at other women as well

Underline: Ding! Ding! Ding! Dude, the Book of Pook has a great take on that! ("Fountain of youth"...I think)

Bold: dude, I am Filipino and I got asked out by white girls before so I dont think its completely true. But who knows that could also be the case (western media is very mean to Asian men). I think there are beautiful people in EVERY race, so I guess its the same in their point of view too (you know, some of them will think that some Asian guys are handsome etc.) unless they are really bigoted. If they dont want to date an Asian guy, its alright, thats allowed. Actually, girls in general rejecting you for ANY reason is allowed as well.

 

[vagrant]

What you like to be matters more than what girls like in men.

Hey, wasn't that you who bought a motorcycle a few months ago? Let'a go ride...

 

[zekko]

I think the truth is that if you look at most girl's lives, they will have banged both gentlemen and *******s.

found out that all this time i have been focusing on being a d!ck in fear of being a nice guy (made horrible mistakes before being "nice"). But my strategy never worked, i didn't feel myself and always sad and depressed.

If being the jerk hasn't worked out for you, by all means try going the gentlemen route, especially if as you say you've had some success with it before. A lot of guys do very well with it. Just don't be so gentlemanly that you come across as non-sexual. You'll still have to take the lead and escalate.

 

[loveshogun]

I hate to use myself as an example, but I'm walking proof that an Asian guy can get white girls/black girls/jewish girls/hispanic girls. I don't know why this is, but it is. And f*ck all the media stereotypes. In fact, they should work in your favor, because they make you look BETTER in comparison - your d*ck isn't THAT small, you're supposed to be awesome smart, and as long as you're not a social retard, you're better than half of all Asians portrayed in Hollywood.

So, no more excuses. Go for what you want, and commit to putting in the work required to get it.

Moneyisking, I've been reading your posts for a while, brotha. I think you're starting to realize how long and hard the road to improvement is, but keep at it. Your happiness is at stake here. You're getting hung up on details and reasons. You need to get moving.

Because you have no direction, I'm giving you one. Take a ballet class. Go to it three times a week for 2 months. If you decide you like it, stick with it.

Finally, don't go there to meet women. Go there for the dancing. It's about YOUR improvement as a person.

Rinse and repeat with other physical activities you're interested in.

 

[DJ Logic]

A: Girls do not universally like any type of guy. It varies from girl to girl, and even within that scope her mood/age will also influence her choices either way.

More important than that though, is the reason you asked this question. It sounds like you are trying to decide who to be, based on what girls want. And that's a surefire recipe for failure of catastrophic proportions.

Stay true to yourself, just be a strong, dominant man with a spine who enjoys taking risks and having fun. P-ssy just falls in your lap when you take that approach.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

They love not being able to figure out which one you are, and going back and forth on their estimation of you.

It's when they know they've got you figured out, that couples start having "problems".

 

[moneyisking]

ok i am not going to write here unless i really must or until i get some success with women. thanks for yal advices. i realize that this is all between me and myself not me and women.

dudewut, idk why but filipino guys do get white girls pretty easily. i think it's the 400years of spanish blood in yal, kinda give you that exotic mix look girls love. vagrant, i did buy bike, fun!!! loveshogun i'm envious that you're one of the few, you must be really something in looks, personality and attitude. i will get where you are sir

thanks all

 

[moneyisking]

I hate to use myself as an example, but I'm walking proof that an Asian guy can get white girls/black girls/jewish girls/hispanic girls. I don't know why this is, but it is. And f*ck all the media stereotypes. In fact, they should work in your favor, because they make you look BETTER in comparison - your d*ck isn't THAT small, you're supposed to be awesome smart, and as long as you're not a social retard, you're better than half of all Asians portrayed in Hollywood.

So, no more excuses. Go for what you want, and commit to putting in the work required to get it.

Moneyisking, I've been reading your posts for a while, brotha. I think you're starting to realize how long and hard the road to improvement is, but keep at it. Your happiness is at stake here. You're getting hung up on details and reasons. You need to get moving.

Because you have no direction, I'm giving you one. Take a ballet class. Go to it three times a week for 2 months. If you decide you like it, stick with it.

Finally, don't go there to meet women. Go there for the dancing. It's about YOUR improvement as a person.

Rinse and repeat with other physical activities you're interested in.

By the way ballet sounds interesting, but one thing is, im nursing student and classes are difficult as fvck, got sh!t ton to read, and physically, literally a guy who you will see at the gym every single day. im pretty hard core at muscle training and keeping up diet that give me good definition and abs. i wanted to learn boxing this semester but no way i have time to do that after training at the gym.

I also like what julieus said. its definitely the mix of two that i need instead of focusing on one. the hard part is of course, finding the right situation to be the right jerk or gentleman.

 

[dudewut]

By the way ballet sounds interesting, but one thing is, im nursing student and classes are difficult as fvck, got sh!t ton to read, and physically, literally a guy who you will see at the gym every single day. im pretty hard core at muscle training and keeping up diet that give me good definition and abs. i wanted to learn boxing this semester but no way i have time to do that after training at the gym.

I also like what julieus said. its definitely the mix of two that i need instead of focusing on one. the hard part is of course, finding the right situation to be the right jerk or gentleman.

Dude, nursing is hard as fvck! But then again I was not really interested in it lol I ended up switching majors while I was so close to graduating, best decision ever though. And I dont want to bash you or anything, but its really a feminine job, I dont care what anyone say. I made it to 2 1/2 years (I went for the Bachelor's one) it is about caring for people and yes being sensitive to their "feelings", and I am not used to that, my personality does not fit that. So if you are in it only for the money I would think twice. Just saying bro.

 

[loveshogun]

im nursing student and classes are difficult as fvck, got sh!t ton to read

i wanted to learn boxing this semester but no way i have time to do that after training at the gym.

the hard part is of course, finding the right situation to be the right jerk or gentleman.

The part in bold is you finding reasons not to do what you want, and not to be successful in the ways that you want.

If you really want it, you'll find a way to make it work.

Finally, moneyisking, the hard part is not finding the right situation to be the jerk or gentleman. The hard part is realizing that you're the one holding yourself back, and you're the one who has to take the responsibility.

If you wanted to buy an apple, and apples cost a dollar, and all you have is 50 cents, it doesn't matter how many reasons you can come up with for not being able to afford the apple. You can have a list 5 miles long, but the bottom line is you don't have the money to pay for it.

Fix your issue with "not enough time." We all have the same number of hours in the day, brudda. Successful people haven't mastered time travel, they've mastered their conception of what they REALLY can do versus "what they think they can't."

 

[moneyisking]

dudewut: lol bro i honestly am doing it for money. i know it sounds horrible and i do care about ppl but not so much to care for them. im doing it b/c the outlook and pay is good. what major did u change to?

love shogun: you have point in saying that if one wants something bad and go for it full, he can achieve it; but really dude, after classes that last 3hrs (and i have 5 of em) one that is 8hrs long, go to gym and catch up reading/studying total of at least 300-500 pgs every week, really dude when i mean theres no time, i really mean theres no time lol. i mean sh!t i gota sleep at least 4-6 hrs a day and eat too u know lol.

i do like the fact that you said it's myself pulling back from what i want to be. absolutely true. for example if i want to call out a chick for treating me disrespectfully, it's an internal fight b/t me and myself, not me and her b/c she cannot control the entity of ME. Only i can, and therefore, it's a self fight; but inexperienced guy like me do need experience to know difference b/t right situation and wrong ones; again, matter of experience.

 

[No Girls 4 U]

I'm a bit older than you, but I was exactly where you were when I was 21. I didn't lose my virginity until age 23, despite having several opportunities to have sex.

I, like you, was the "nice guy" for years. When that didn't work, I tried my darndest to become the "a-hole" I thought girls wanted. Only problem: girls also tend to date guys who are AUTHENTIC to who they really are.

And - here's the REAL kicker - neither the "nice guy" nor the "a-hole" are who YOU - or any of us - really are.

Trying to lean hard towards either direction only makes us "fake." The "nice guy" does stuff for others that he doesn't REALLY want to do, while the "a-hole" is mean and nasty for no reason. He may score one or two more sex partners than the "nice guy," but they can't sustain a REAL relationship because the way they're trying to be isn't really them.

So how does one become successful with girls?

Well, the first step is figuring out the WHY behind why your current dating methods don't work (which you can find out by clicking on the link below).

The second step is realizing that IT'S NOT ABOUT BEING A "NICE GUY" OR AN "A-HOLE." It's about a girl being able to realize that you have respect for yourself, enough to where you won't let people walk all over you.

You can be a gentleman - holding doors open for girls, being friendly when you talk - while at the same time being willing to argue, have a differing opinion, or storm away from a chick if you feel she's being disrespectful.

I think a lot of "nice guys" think if they show off their angry side, a girl will no longer like them. Yet the opposite tends to be true: you showing off the things that upset you - in a way that doesn't seem wussy or pouty - is a way for her to get to know more of how the "real" you works. That in and of itself can be a MAJOR step in getting girls to like you...

-Harry Wilmington
www.NoGirls4U.com

 

[El Indio G]

you see, I am at point of life where i have stopped for one moment and wondering why I suck with women (more correct to say why i suck with myself b/c self-confidence and happiness can solve all woman problems). and i found out that all this time i have been focusing on being a d!ck in fear of being a nice guy (made horrible mistakes before being "nice"). But my strategy never worked, i didn't feel myself and always sad and depressed.

i'm 21, no sex, no girlfriend, so i'm thinking maybe some people are born being better with chicks by being gentleman (still avoiding beta nice guy). there was time in middle school when all the girls loved me and asked me out but i was too young to care about girls; i don't think i acted like a jerk back then still. so what do you think?

also one thing. i kind of gave up on white girls since it seems like they are naturally inclined to find asian guys unattractive. asian girls are more open to me sexually although i think my lack of experience and preference for white girls caused me to not get any oyster. I see some ugly a$$ white dudes who are not gym jocky as i am get girl friends. America is weird place... hahaha

No one likes a jerk, player. The thing is those girls tend to like their assertiveness. Those *******s that seem to get the girls can never keep 1 for a long period of time because they act like *******s. The ones that do stay do so because of some attachment they have to them.

Being a gentleman doesn't mean being a punk. All it means is that you have manners.

 

[moneyisking]

I'm a bit older than you, but I was exactly where you were when I was 21. I didn't lose my virginity until age 23, despite having several opportunities to have sex.

I, like you, was the "nice guy" for years. When that didn't work, I tried my darndest to become the "a-hole" I thought girls wanted. Only problem: girls also tend to date guys who are AUTHENTIC to who they really are.

And - here's the REAL kicker - neither the "nice guy" nor the "a-hole" are who YOU - or any of us - really are.

Trying to lean hard towards either direction only makes us "fake." The "nice guy" does stuff for others that he doesn't REALLY want to do, while the "a-hole" is mean and nasty for no reason. He may score one or two more sex partners than the "nice guy," but they can't sustain a REAL relationship because the way they're trying to be isn't really them.

So how does one become successful with girls?

Well, the first step is figuring out the WHY behind why your current dating methods don't work (which you can find out by clicking on the link below).

The second step is realizing that IT'S NOT ABOUT BEING A "NICE GUY" OR AN "A-HOLE." It's about a girl being able to realize that you have respect for yourself, enough to where you won't let people walk all over you.

You can be a gentleman - holding doors open for girls, being friendly when you talk - while at the same time being willing to argue, have a differing opinion, or storm away from a chick if you feel she's being disrespectful.

I think a lot of "nice guys" think if they show off their angry side, a girl will no longer like them. Yet the opposite tends to be true: you showing off the things that upset you - in a way that doesn't seem wussy or pouty - is a way for her to get to know more of how the "real" you works. That in and of itself can be a MAJOR step in getting girls to like you...

-Harry Wilmington
www.NoGirls4U.com

awesome thanks for that. very insightful

 

[dudewut]

dudewut: lol bro i honestly am doing it for money. i know it sounds horrible and i do care about ppl but not so much to care for them. im doing it b/c the outlook and pay is good. what major did u change to?

I changed to accounting with a minor in political science. But I am thinking about joining the Marines after graduating OR going to law school.

Anyway, I know you didnt ask for it, but here is my advice: If you have a full scholarship like I did, then I would suggest sticking it out for at least until the clinicals, thats where you will start to REALLY see if its for you. You might be one of those people motivated by $$$$ and Nursing has lots of it! Especially for men because they are like a novelty and can lift heavy stuff! Also think about the hot female nurses, it helps being the only rooster in the henhouse hahahaha

Good luck brah!