Man Caves

[Rollo Tomassi]

Man Caves. Discuss.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/homestyle/05/15/free.mancave/index.html

http://www.ireport.com/ir-topic-stories.jspa;jsessionid=BF2E1B6D125339C15C770CF7F25D98AC?topicId=5282

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/04/16/mancave.irpt/index.html

 

[Max Power]

Totally AFC.

Men are being driven from the amenities of their own homes by their nagging wives.

Film at 11.

 

[DJDamage]

That reminds me of this episode of this show called "Til Death" with Brad Garrett as a miserable married man that always fights with his wife.

Anyway one of the episodes they showed how him and these other 4 married guys have all told their wives that they belong to a band and they practice together. In actuality they all lied to their wives so the lie would look legitimate and instead they hang out in someone's house to escape the wives and do guy stuff like drink beer and watch tv.

It sad that comedy actually mirrors real life. Not to mention the show Married with Children which was great because it showed you how some marriages are real fvcked up and not great as they often portrayed to be.

 

[Scaramouche]

Yes a great way to recharge the batteries...The Dasha or country retreat is firmly founded in Russian Literature and Society generally it takes many forms but goodly numbers resemble "Ponderosa"...Believe me the guys who go Fishin and Shootin over there really knock it back,Americans seem light Social drinkers by comparison...In Australia the Coastal Shack with the Barbie and six packs,is part of our folk lore as are weekenders in the Bush,the recent crackdown on fire Arms,the terrible Drought,Petrol prices,and the shockingly long hours people work these days are creating a steady decline,a demise even in these activities...Sad really...

 

[Interceptor]

Some men need to reconnect wth masculine energy.

This is how they can recharge.

Stuff like this is very very good for men.

A true Tribe helps bring each other up and help gain perspectives on circumstances.
I think this is a good thing. Although, my only issue is if it doesnt have a physical component, and if it is too much just 'hanging out'. I think then it would lose some of its effectiveness.

 

[RedPill]

it's not a manctuary, it's a chump refuge

This is why I can't imagine myself living with a woman anytime soon, because I would not tolerate an environment where a chick runs the show. I simply can't fathom the concept of having anyone impose on my lifestyle to the point where I would actually seek to secure a spot in the house (which I purchased) that would serve as a safe harbor for anything remotely masculine.

Some of the images in the third link looked interesting, but the articles in the first two have a very AFC voice to them:

Many women wanted to know what was so terrible about the man cave-owners' families that they had to retreat to a cave to get away from them. Many men piped up in the comment section as well, explaining they felt their wives had reign over the entire rest of the house, and that men deserved at least one space to call their own.

So we asked Samuel what he thought.

"The whole point of it, it's just guy time," he said. "There's no rules, there's no bathroom. It's just getting away. ... Most of it is just relaxation and having a good time. Nothing ever happens out there that can create any extra stress."

"Half of it is about hanging out with guys, your buddies and the other half is being out where nobody can see you. Nobody can find you. You're way out there -- there's no city lights hiding the stars. The time that you can spend out there getting away from it all, doing what you want to do, that's the reason behind building the thing," he said.

Gee, what could Samuel possibly be referring to?

I would love to see ye olde gender reversal applied to the "man cave" concept. Imagine for a moment an article on the "vagina nest".

Allow me to reframe:

Many men wanted to know what was so terrible about the vagina nest-owners' families that they had to retreat to a nest to get away from them. Many women piped up in the comment section as well, explaining they felt their husbands had reign over the entire rest of the house, and that women deserved at least one space to call their own.

So we asked Samantha what she thought.

"The whole point of it, it's just girl time," she said. "There's no sports, there's no machinery. It's just getting away. ... Most of it is just relaxation and having a good time. Nothing ever happens out there that can create any extra accountability."

"Half of it is about hanging out with women, your girlfriends and the other half is being out where nobody can judge you. Nobody can find you. You're way out there -- there's no having to hide the throw pillows. The time that you can spend out there getting away from it all, doing what you want to do, that's the reason behind decorating the place," she said.

 

[jophil28]

..In Australia the Coastal Shack with the Barbie and six packs,is part of our folk lore as are weekenders in the Bush,
...

Hey Scara - you got a "shack" on the beach ?
I had one near Frazer Is . I never had so many buddies as then -they all wanted to escape from " the little woman " . I was the only single guy, so I could stay and fish on for a few days after they all got "the call " to come home .

WE called our group the "Black and Decker Club" ,,,Our Club motto was " Hold a power tool today "... man, did those wives hate all that.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

I don't know why but the title "man cave" reeks of insecurity.

Why?

"Getting away"? From what? From who? Every weekend? Sooo...your whole week sucks aside from the little get together with your "buds" in your man-cave?
What is it about a guy who looks forward to his weekends and not his week?

Sounds like a guy who isn't getting the most out of life.


RedPill, actually think about it - who's letting who run the show? Is it the wives fault that the men aren't taking back control of their household? If anything, it seems like they're running away from i t.

 

[BadsnakeUK]

I would love to see ye olde gender reversal applied to the "man cave" concept. Imagine for a moment an article on the "vagina nest".

:crackup:

 

[Knight's Cross]

My man cave....is my whole HOUSE. All 2200 sq. feet and half an acre. The farther I go on my path, the less I realize I want a woman to, "compliment me". As a turn on their own often worded wish. Nope, mancaves (as an escape zone, hideout, or whatever) are chump any way you look at them.

KC

 

[Yahooey]

A few quick comments (the alternative being a long winded rant).

The subject of the second article: "It’s not a manctuary, it’s a MAN CAVE" got my goat. These genderized neologisms are a testimony of the nice guying of society. Subtext, the home belongs to the woman and the guy is allowed a sanctuary. This is then compounded, with the creation of a more obvious metaphor. Who wants to live in cave? If this keeps up, I might end up being one of the guys constantly attacking the feminazis.

BTW: The "supportive wife" posting pictures of her man's cave. ROTFLMAO.

 

[grinder]

This is not a new concept. Growing up my father took me to the hunting lodge occasionally which served the same purpose. That tradition went back into the 1800’s.

For those who say the Matrix was created in the 60’s with women’s liberation this proves its been around much longer and is rooted deeper in the behavior of men rather than some external social movement.

Weak dependent men, AFC’s, have always been around. If you think things were better for men in the 50’s, where a man was a man and a woman knew her place; you’d be wrong.

The development of a stable, independent, confident male personality has never been on anyone’s agenda until right here right now.

 

[romangod]

My man cave....is my whole HOUSE. All 2200 sq. feet and half an acre. The farther I go on my path, the less I realize I want a woman to, "compliment me". As a turn on their own often worded wish. Nope, mancaves (as an escape zone, hideout, or whatever) are chump any way you look at them.

KC

I'm in the same situation. My home is my castle and a refuge for my unhappily married friends to unwind, have a few beers and a little male comraderie. I realized a long time ago that I will probably never marry or co-habitate with a women and risk losing everything I worked so hard for. As a poker player and a gambler, I don't like my odds.

If I ever do decide that I'll give it a try I'll make sure that it is to my advantage not hers. I'm speaking about legally and financially. Emotionally and spiritually I know I am up to the task and am the "prize". Unlike many, I don't need a woman and will decide when I want a woman on my terms and if she is worthy of it. Cheers!

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I posted this in the MM forum rather than AE because I think this phenomenon is uniquely about older, married guys. Younger, single men don't (or shouldn't) have use for a refuge like this.

While I really like the idea of in-garage-bars (I can think of at least 2 I know around here in FL), I'm of 2 minds about this. On one hand, I think it's essential for a healthy marriage that a Man set aside his space in the home. This is essential in establishing independent identities that is vital to a woman maintaining respect for her spouse. There are long established habits and interests and things that are part of my personality that I know damn well my wife loathes, but the moment I allow her to "fix" me is the moment she loses respect for me in my independence because I'd be Identifying with what she 'thinks' is best only to placate to her. There has to be that separation or you end up becoming this homogenized, asexual assimilation of what she thinks you should be - this is the ultimate form of male supplication. So as a necessary part of living together there must be areas that you are uncompromising in. This is a HUGE sh!t test that most married AFCs fail and then become slaves to the expectations and entitlements there wives have.

On the other hand, when routine life with a woman decays into this for a long period of time, understandably even AFCs will want a refuge. This used to be a local bar or some other man's refuge. Depending on his degree of servitude, a weekend in his "man cave" ends up being preferable to the constant nagging of his wife. This is why escapisims (such as MPORGs) are so popular. Working life AND personal life become so intolerable that the escape is preferable to dealing with his realities. So he creates his own treehouse with a big sign on the outside that says "no girls allowed."

Kind of puts a new spin on this thread don't you think?

 

[STR8UP]

Sounds like a way for men to try to reclaim their lost identity after they tie the knot.

I mean, can you think of a single guy needing a "man cave"?

My whole place is my man cave. The 52" HDTV, the surround sound system, the liquor collection, the badass decor (that I'm working on for my new place) complete with an awesome poster bed from India with purple, gold, and green velour curtains and duvet that looks like something a king would sleep in.

The chicks walk in and say " Is that your BED???".

I say, "No, that's THE bed".

When I find the perfect animal skin to throw on top maybe I'll post some pics.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Caving as a behavior is discussed in the Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus books. Men deal with problems by isolating themselves and thinking, looking inward. Women do not understand this behavior, because they tend to deal with problems in the opposite manner - by reaching out for support from all of the people around them.

btw, this explains a lot of fighting that goes on in relationships. People tend to give what they want. Women want unsolicited advice. Men hate it.

For example, while you are driving in a parking lot park, she says:

"There's an empty space."

You are probably going to think something along the lines of:

Shut the fvck up, b!tch! Do you think I can't see?


Unless we specifically ask for it, men do not want help. Men need to be alone and look inward, be introspective. Usually this involves getting away from a nagging spouse, who to her credit, is just trying to help. But avoiding the wife explains most male behavior, at least what I can see in American culture. Pretty much everything that men do, often even leaving the house every morning to go to work, is about getting away from the wife. That's why the lawns in suburbia are so green. That's why men play golf, bowl, work on cars in the garage, play poker with the guys, whatever men do - most of them, most of the time are simply avoiding their wives so they can think. It's all caving behavior.

 

[reset]

I would act oblivious and drive around the parking lot a few times like "where! WHERE???"