"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Man am I having problems

El MonoLoco

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what the hell is wrong with me...

I spent all last night bangin this one girl...so well we drenched her bed real bad...felt like she was pee'in on me when she came....but the whole freakin time I was thinkin about this other chick...I wasn't thinkin about bangin the other girl....she was just in my head.....

I went out on a really killer date with that other girl a few days ago....but I can't get her out of my mind and its driving me crazy.....


Help!!!????

:cuss: :kick: :nono: :mad: :confused:
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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vp171s

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El MonoLoco said:
what the hell is wrong with me...

I spent all last night bangin this one girl...so well we drenched her bed real bad...felt like she was pee'in on me when she came....but the whole freakin time I was thinkin about this other chick...I wasn't thinkin about bangin the other girl....she was just in my head.....

I went out on a really killer date with that other girl a few days ago....but I can't get her out of my mind and its driving me crazy.....


Help!!!????

:cuss: :kick: :nono: :mad: :confused:
seek psychiatric help before it is too late
 

Kourt

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sounds like you have some feelings for the past girl, time heals all wounds, you might want to take a break from women and figure out what you want to do and how to get over this girl before really committing to any other girls
 

El MonoLoco

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Kourt you missed something...

I'm currently dating both....but one has obviously over taken my mind...

The problem I have is that even though there is another girl I can't get the other one out of my head....
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Kourt

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Ahhh I see, well then theres an obvious solution dude.

Just date the one thats taken over your mind, you obviously have stronger feelings for her, so I would work on getting her to be your girlfriend.

I personally don't that that if you have strong feelings for one girl you shouldnt be ****ing around with others, but thats just me.
 

( . )( . )

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Kourt said:
you might want to take a break from women and figure out what you want to do and how to get over this girl before really committing to any other girls
Strongly disagree .The guy has a mild to medium case of textbook oneitis, what you suggested is the exact opposite of what he should be doing, and who said he was "commited", thats a harsh word to be just throwing out there.

Kourt said:
Just date the one thats taken over your mind, you obviously have stronger feelings for her, so I would work on getting her to be your girlfriend.
Strongly disagree again. Giving up and embracing his current oneitis is the path a lesser man chooses.
 

SELF-MASTERY

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Nothing is wrong with you..
 

Kourt

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I was of the opinion that oneitis is where you like a girl who doesnt like you back?

If hes fvcking her she obviously likes him back, to what extent hasn't been said yet. But I think that if you have feelings for a girl and she has them back then exclusivity should be considered. . .

Guess I don't know enough about the situation.
 

( . )( . )

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Kourt said:
I was of the opinion that oneitis is where you like a girl who doesnt like you back?
Nah that was a nasty myth a few crabs tried to throw around here awhile back to make the ideal of monogamy sound more appealing and to justify their stance on LTR's and negativity toward gaming multiple chicks.

The nuts and bolts of it is hes wasting himself thinking about the other bird where its to the point of taking over other aspects of his life, thats oneitis.

Its an easy mistake to make, I've done it myself.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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Kourt

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Well if thats your line of thinking then so be it.

I personally think a huge part of a persons life should be finding the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Two people falling in love isn't anything that words can do justice to. I think the quote goes something like "Better to love and lost than never have loved at all". I'd take a good LTR over fvcking a few chics with no commitment any day.

Now that I think about it I think thats the main rift in sosuave. Prehaps the boards should be split into like two or three sections with the players, LTRs, and then a little bit of each.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind dating a few girls at once when I'm still trying to figure out what I want, but I hate the lying and deception that comes with it and don't want to be a part of that.
 

El MonoLoco

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Yea the oneitis thing is what I'm trying to avoid....I don't want to be head over heals and end up blowing the whole thing....know what I mean...

This girl (the one in my head) has already professed just how much she likes me....and I'd say interest level is somewhere close to the moon....she's way hot and has a head on her shoulders...we had an instant connection...

i don't want to rush into anything thinking it's too good to be true just to find out its not....so I've been taking it real slow with her....hell I'm even fvcking another girl and that's not helping...

She already asked me to be her bf...but I don't just jump into crap like that with out knowing what I'm getting into....We were a little wasted that night though so I don't know if it was her or what...


The other girl...not the one stuck in my head is ....ok....but I just don't have the same feelings when I'm around her...


Man no girl has done this to me for a long time and its got my head all wack.......


aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggg
:crazy:
 

Ace of Flames

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I think you know which girl you want. The only question here is, do you wanna get into a relationship right now? If so, go after the girl you have the better connection with. If not, keep soaking those bed sheets!
 

El MonoLoco

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It wasn't just the sheets man....it went through a pad and to the mattress....

but I hear ya about the connection thing...


She just got out of a relationship and I haven't been in one for long time now....well 4 years...


I don't want to be the rebound dude...feel me?
 

Ace of Flames

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Ask her if she's over the breakup. Mention randomly how you don't like going into relationships as "the rebound". Hopefully she gets the hint. Once she's put the breakup behind her, make your move.

In the meantime, don't get all obsessed over her, keep making other girls have extra laundry, and when you're with her, be a great man. She'll stay attracted to you and maybe get over the breakup even faster, to be with you.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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The Truth

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Kourt said:
Well if thats your line of thinking then so be it.

I personally think a huge part of a persons life should be finding the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Two people falling in love isn't anything that words can do justice to. I think the quote goes something like "Better to love and lost than never have loved at all". I'd take a good LTR over fvcking a few chics with no commitment any day.

Now that I think about it I think thats the main rift in sosuave. Prehaps the boards should be split into like two or three sections with the players, LTRs, and then a little bit of each.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind dating a few girls at once when I'm still trying to figure out what I want, but I hate the lying and deception that comes with it and don't want to be a part of that.

I share your opinion completely!

Titman just doesn't agree with relationships, but instead of respecting that it's an individual preference he preaches it as wrong and the result of brainwashing. I understand some guys prefer banging multiple women, but that's not right or wrong, it's just a personal preference.

To the original poster I say go with what you want and don't be afraid to take risks. If you have feelings for this other girl and you want to make a go of it, go ahead! It could end badly but the risk could also pay off and be very satisfying!

I'm getting the idea you are scared of getting hurt and that's what's keeping you from pursuing this girl. No gain without risk and you are guaranteed to lose a lot more by never taking chances!
 

Boschy

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1) Sounds like the bed soaker chick sprays fluid when she comes. While it's not common, it is a fairly well acknowledged phenomenon. I've never had a girlfriend who did this, but have seen it happen on video.

2) Your emotions. Perhaps remembering that there are different stages might help you. Smitten/infatuated. In lust. In love. The latter often gets confused with infatuation early on in a relationship or encounter. Infatuation can vanish overnight (what I call 'the spell getting broken'), whereas love only gets stronger with time and regardless of other things happening, like banging another babe. Heh heh.

Go slow is the best advice. I told a friend to consider every interaction with his object of affection very carefully (i.e. text message, conversation, e-mail, date, etc.). You are intelligent and therefore have a functioning brain. So just use it. :D
 
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