I agree alot of what solomon stated. I am spoiled in the sense that my dad should be in the PUA Hall of fame. hell for most my life he used me as a prop lol, so I never had to wonder how you talk to women i just did what my dad did.
IMHO, too many people come here, and they see the rules of the game, and see certain tricks and techniques and want to put them to use and forget one thing
they are about as smooth as a reckneck's driveway.
The VERY first thing you have to work on, before all this stuff, is becoming "smooth", "unawakard".
"hey backbreaker, I'm not awkward"
yes you are lol.
Here are some subtle and not so subtle signs that you are socially awkward:
1. you have an unusually high number of crash and burns: my rule of thumb is if i talked to 10 women, 2 to 4 of them were going to give me their number. 1-2 of those were going to actually talk to me when i called, and i would get a date out of that. if i went on 3 dates, one of them would develop into something quasi long term, as far as her being a plate.
if you are talking to 30-50-100 women and all of them are rejecting you, guess what buddy
YOU ARE SOCIALLY AWKWARD
2. If you feel "uncomfortable" holding a normal conversation with a woman you wouldn't mind waking up next to the next morning and you find yourself looking for "the right thing to say"
YOU ARE SOCIALLY AWKWARD
3. If people go out of their way to avoid/not to talk to you
YOU ARE SOCIALLY AWKWARD (or just fat)
4. If you automatically look away when someone looks at you, rather it be a male or male or look straight down
YOU ARE SOCIALLY AWKWARD
5. If you go to a club, and your idea of "gaming a woman" is runnig straight up behind a woman and start dancing and feeling her up, and while you are doing this, you throw in the fact that you want her number, then call her a flake becuase she " showed interest (by giving you the curtosty to let you get your **** hard for 3 mintues) then the next thing you know she had her tounge down someone elses throat"
YOU ARE SOCIALLY AWKWARD
There you have it. I don't care what you read on this forum, i don't care how decent you look, i don't care how much money you have, what outfit you have on, or what car you drive, if you aren't socically accpectable, you aren't going to the proverbial champagne room.
I have been in both places. I had my dad's wisnom and somewhat "natural game" if you will. In HS I had no probelm talking to women. now I have no problem in women. At the age of 21 however, i had a problem talking to women beucase i hadn't been on a date in 3 and a half years, or out with a woman period. i spent 3 and a half years in an office and just became.. well.. awkward. not ugly, though a tad overweight, but not to the point where i shoudl nto be getting any interest from anyone. I was very awkward.
The good thing was,l I knew i was awkward because i had somethign to compare myself to, myself and my dad. I knew all the advice in the world was not going to help me out, all the tricks, all the clothes, if i could not fit in to society.
So I developed a plan, that was going to take between 2 and 3 months, to "become normal"
when i say I locked myself in an office for 3 and a half years, i mean that. I mean i was to the point where going and sitting down and barnes and noble by myself for 30 minutes was uncomfortable.
First, i made myself go somewhere new everyday and stay there for 1 hour. Nothing beyond that. Babay steps lol. Just go and sit my ass down for 1 hour. This was harder than it seemed. I wanted to home. But at the end i wanted be normal again worse so I stayed.
Once I could somewhat comfortably do that and even start to look forward to it, which took about 3 weeks, i would just say "hi" to 20 people a day and look them in the eye. I would combine this with the first exercise sometimes. sometimes i could do it in 30 minutes sometimes 2 hours. It was very hard to do. But towards the end it became pretty easy to do and i didn't think twice about it now. In fact i learned "hi" is probably the best opener there is. one woman even I remember turned around and gave me the "do I know you from somewhere". I was pretty stoked behind that. NOt my type but still, someone likes me lol!
So; about a month and a haf has gone by, and now2 i'm going out for 1 hour everyday and actually talking to people. Actually alot of progress if you think about it, and 'm pretty comfortable doing so. Now the big step. I'm gouing to hold at least a 1-2 minute conversation with 5 people a day. I don't care if it's the girl at pizza hut or the guy at my bank. Just talk to people. I wanted to be to the point again where it was second nature for me to just talk to people.
At the time i was losing weight, and towards about, the 3rd week into this, i had gotten some new clothes that fit, combined with the comfort ;level i had talking to people, and it was, i remember it, one Friday, the Friday before my 21st birthday, night and day difference. I had just bought an apartment and i went to bath and bodyworks to get some stuff for it, and chatted up a girl in the store, and she she was just blushing her butt off, gave me a hand massage. I had met some new friends ,that i ended up going out to the club with a few times. I was not afraid to talk to my neighboors, which lead to me having some things to do some random nights. I talked to this one girl, just talked to, did not approach, and she saw me later that day by chance and slid me her number. would become my GF 6 months later.
I hadn't even gotten to the, cold approaches part yet,k this is just comign from learning how to talk to people and not be awakard doing so. To not even have to think about it to just do it. To be able to go to subway and chat up the girl behind the counter, no pressure no nothing. It's actually a qauite powerful thing to be able to do. The more you do it the more confident you get in doing it, the more confident you get in doing it the more women can sense you are in control, the more they like it.
Once i actually got to the point where i was doing cold approaches, i sat out and told myself i am going to get rejected 100 times. pretty standard stuff. lol i never made it to 50. by the time i was in my 40's i had more numbers than i knew what to do with, and the fear was 10000% gone. One of the conquests was my High school homecoming queen who i had the worst crush on in high school. Ran into her one night and said look, we are going ot go out give me your number, not only did she give me her number, she gave me 'i was hoping you'd ask". And the woman is drop dead grogous and she is a mechanic! doesn't get better than that. I remember going into a sports bar that is pretty famous in little rock and thinking "i have slept with damn near every waitress here". Hell I cold approached my wife.
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but it takes time. You have to take baby steps. You have to honestly assess where you are, and where you want to be, and develop a feasible game plan to get there. If your wardrobe is not up to point get it there. if you aren't physically up to point get it there. if your living situation isn't up to point, get it there. doesn't have to be a 1000000 dollar crib but you need to have a decent roof over your head. your life needs to be in order.
AS dieon sanders once said " “If you look good, you feel good. If you feel good, you play good. And if you play good, they pay good!”
