Male C-blockers

[reset]

This dude I know at work, is a pretty bad AFC... EVERY time I am talking to a girl, he interrupts. A girl comes down to talk to me, and we are having a conversation, he will interrupt and do a song and dance type deal. The girls will humor him for a moment, a few times they have told him to please stop talking now.

I wouldn't do that to other guys. There are a few girls there, that I am not too interested in, and I ignore more or less. He slobbers over them, and I mind my own business. I am tempted to just start talking to them and giving him a taste of his own medicine. Or asking him how his wife was doing. That may make me seem insecure though.

I thought this guy was my friend, but I can see now that he isn't, since he can't stand for the attention to be on anyone but him. It's kind of sad how a girl will make a guy act like a total dip-**** to his other guy "friends". How do you deal with guys like this? Just phase them out of your life? We work right next to each other. Normally we get along, but I can't let this slide anymore.

 

[reset]

Yeah, this is one of those things that "good guys" just get-- if a friend is talking to a girl, and things seem to be going well, you butt out. Hell if anyone is in a conversation with someone else, you usually wait for some silence before you get your words in, unless there's a group dynamic going on. This is so obvious it's hard to put into words, it's just being civilized I suppose. Don't really need to think about it.

In any case, guys who don't do this, aren't "friends"... they are phonies-- and that's not friendship. That's being a bytch. My problem is it takes a lot for me to write someone off. I don't tend to hold grudges too long--but after going through this with this guy a few times, enough's enough.

 

[everywomanshero]

Whats going on here

Are you the leader of your group or a follower? That's the decision you have to make.

I am not saying be an ass about it, but there's a time to confront someone and let him know you don't want him compromising your set. Instead he should be building you up if he detects a stall or you have to walk away for a minute to talk to a hot friend who just came in the club.

If the person offers no value other than interupting your set, then what does that say? This person has to behave like a friend to be treated like one.

 

[reset]

I agree. It's not like I'm in a club and can leave, in this situation I'm at my desk at my office. But I get what you're saying, and yeah, I am a leader. I don't flaunt it, but guys come to me, women come to me, I do fine. This dude is just jealous of my status at work, and the fact that the girls seem to want to be around me, and not him.

It's not in my nature to interrupt, try to be the center of attention-- I like to let things happen naturally. So when someone does act like that, it's kind of like I'm on an alien planet. All I see is some guy who pretends to be my friend, trying to one-up me. And it pisses me off. It's low class. But, these are my standards, not others.

This is more about me than him maybe. This has happened before, he's gotten jealous, tried to dampen the scene between me and a girl. And everytime it's like someone farted in church. What do you do in that situation? You kind of look around, tune things out, etc. This is what I do.

For some reason, I give people second chances. And I've given this guy his fair share. It's me in this room, he's the only other guy there, and it's nice to have a dude to talk to and stuff, but some people just don't learn. I've gotten pissed off at him before, ignored him for weeks at a time, he always ends up being really nice to me and acts all sheepish and stuff, then some new chick starts working, we build rapport and everything, and then he just ends up butting his nose into my business again, always party crashing. And I shouldn't let it throw me off, but it does. I know there's always going to be guys trying to interfere, and I'm just learning how to handle it.

That's not acting like a friend. I should stop ranting about this and just cut this guy off. If people will not treat me the same way I treat them, there's just no point.

Thanks, everywomanshero. I have to learn to stop giving people the benefit of the doubt/second chances. Screw it.

 

[ConantheLibertarian]

Are you the leader of your group or a follower? That's the decision you have to make.

I am not saying be an ass about it, but there's a time to confront someone and let him know you don't want him compromising your set. Instead he should be building you up if he detects a stall or you have to walk away for a minute to talk to a hot friend who just came in the club.

If the person offers no value other than interupting your set, then what does that say? This person has to behave like a friend to be treated like one.

My thoughts exactly. You have to let him know what's up, in a tactful way of course. He's probably just trying to emulate you or have some of your suave rub off on him. Even so, interupting a conversation of any kind is not how a friend behaves.

 

[Stripes]

I know that type of person. Borrow as much money as you possible can from this guy, sleep with his wife, plant some drugs on him(at work), call the cops...
You can never go too far
You do like winning ... don't you?
Its not like some women wont end up sticking it to him worse one of these days

 

[reset]

My thoughts exactly. You have to let him know what's up, in a tactful way of course. He's probably just trying to emulate you or have some of your suave rub off on him. Even so, interupting a conversation of any kind is not how a friend behaves.

True. I'm not like that, I just have to accept that some people are like that, and they don't change, even if they pretend that they do.

 

[Jizzee]

I'm pretty new to all this, especially when talking to women. When I go out with my friend to bars and clubs, I have to admit that I have done this once, totally unintentionally though. We had been out a few weeks prior, and he had gotten kicked out of a club when he was dancing, someone had said he had gotten his d*** out ont he stage, but I was there the whole time and he hadnt, it was a bull**** thing but he got kicked out. So last weekend, talking to these girls, one of them said "oh your fly is open"...and for some reason I sort of mouthed to him "just like the other week", I knew as soon as I had said it that it was wrong, and he just give me a look. Thankfully the girls didnt hear me say it. It was a total ****-move on my part, and I know that, he managed to get with the chick he wanted, and I got the chick I wanted, but I still felt like a total wank for it! guess the tip im trying to say here is: THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK! practice self-control! I wish I had then, I apologised to him, and he said it's cool, we're still best friends and all and I've learnt a lesson.

 

[reset]

Good. Sometimes we say stupid crap. People with character feel embarassed immediately afterwards and take care of what needs to be said, ASAP.

It's weird you bring up this thread today, because after a few weeks of ignoring the guy I was talking about, I'm starting to talk to him a little more. I have to be honest with myself that his c-blocking just brings out my own insecurities. He's not a threat to me... it's actually kind of sad that he feels the need to attempt to take away any attention I receive, THAT is a big sign of insecurity.

I guess the difference between then and now is I know he is not going to change. So I have to change, and not let it bother me so much.

But I really kept what everywomanshero said in mind... for me to be your friend, you gotta be my friend too. This guy wants to be all buddy buddy with me again, and I just can't do that anymore. Maybe a little small talk here and there... but it's just too late for this dude.
?My philosophy is live and let live, and back up your friends, build them up if they are getting somewhere with a girl... if I don't get the same treatment, then sorry man... you've had plenty of chances.

I used to really enjoy shooting the sh1t with this dude, but I don't really feel like it anymore.

 

[Heart Break Kid]

If you know how to deal with female CB's, just treat the guy like a really ugly chick.

 

[OrdinaryMadness]

This is what I did at work:

Coming in, I already had a friend who was able to introduce me to a couple of people, but I had to do most of my own dirty work and get to know people myself b/c I don't rely on others to promote my social network.

I got to know some good looking girls and those over 21 y/o I started asking them if they wanted to go out to a club/bar whatever. Other times, my friend and I as wee as other female co-workers would go out clubbin' as well. However, there are a lot of nerds, c-blockers, virgins etc who work with me. You just have to be tactful on how you approach the girls, while avoiding these losers.

My point is...get the girls you want OUT of the work environment, that way you don't have to deal with the c-blockers, nerds, losers, AFC's etc when you are trying to work your game. Get a solid group together from work (make it a good ratio, you don't want a sausage-fest) who is down to go out and socialize with them. This way, you're also not inhibited by your work environment. You won't get fired if you hook-up with your chick co-workers in a club.