"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Making the most of your birthday on Facebook

Mr. Goods

Don Juan
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Dec 4, 2009
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It's your birthday. The staples of the day; cake, a gift(s), going out with family/friends, etc. In recent years, this also includes the many Facebook posts you'll get saying "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Most people either write a generic "thank you" on the other person's wall, or says "thanks for the wishes" on their status.

Boring, right? There is a way you can make the most of this innocent gesture. This will take more time, but write back to every single person who wrote to you. And by this, don't just say thanks. Ask how they're doing, what their plans are for the near future, or if anything good has happened to them lately. By doing this, you allow the opportunity to expand your connections and really make the most out of them. Additionally - and this is why I bring this tip here - you'll possibly get to know some HBs who wrote on your wall better.

A few weeks ago, I tried this whole thing out. A HB 8.5 who I had only met one or two times at school wrote on my wall, so I asked what her plans were for the summer. Turns out, she doesn't live all that far from me. We wrote back and forth a couple of times, where she mentioned twice how things by her have been boring. Obviously, I take this as a hint that she'd be up for something. Sure enough, when she returns from a short vacation this week, she will let me know her plans (and hopefully we're able to do something). :up:

In short: When people write happy birthday on your wall, write back and ask them questions. You never know what could come of it. At the very worst, you'll get to know people you didn't know as well better. It's a win-win situation.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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