"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Making Sure of Interest Level

UltimateDJuan

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I'm rather new to the "seduction" community. I understand most of the theories well, and I feel pretty confident that I could get a # from a girl after a short while of talking.

However here is my problem: I don't want numbers just out of pity or kindness. I am decent looking (definitely above average, and my looks do keep improving as I get older since i've always looked younger than my age). The types of girls that I am attracted to aren't the type who would "shoot down" a guy asking for a number -- they would go ahead and give the number anyway.

This presents a dillema -- how do I know if they are really interested or not?

The reason I ask this is because I am interested in initiating some rapport with one of my co-workers (i'd say HB8) and although the only conversation we had so far was about 20 seconds, I can immediately tell that I would be able to get a number, but it could just be her way of "being nice" since i'm a coworker and all.

Same goes with some female acquaintances i've known for a long while (who i'm not in the "friend zone" with, since i'm not too close to them). I know I could easily set up a date which they would agree to, but again, it might be out of niceness or to not seem "not nice".

I don't know, i'm confused.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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wrender

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how do I know if they are really interested or not?
There's only one tried and true way. Tell them you'd like their phone number. If you get it and they end up agreeing on a date, then I'd say you're in. I doubt these girls would take it past the initial phone call if they had no interest.

I think you need to just go with your gut here rather than ask us for various IOIs. If it's simply IOIs you're looking for than there are pleny of topics here discussing that.
 

UltimateDJuan

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It's not really IOIs i'm looking for, its whether them giving a number would be genuine or not. Even if I was able to set up a first date with them, I still don't know if that would be genuine since that could also be a part of their "being nice" process.
 

Docs

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UltimateDJuan said:
It's not really IOIs i'm looking for, its whether them giving a number would be genuine or not. Even if I was able to set up a first date with them, I still don't know if that would be genuine since that could also be a part of their "being nice" process.
Once again, you'll never be sure until they are your girlfriend, or openly admitted that they are obsessed with you. You could go on 6 dates, and she could pull the LJBF line. It's all trial and error, your job is to give it that chance, and use your attractiveness as a male to get her interest in you up. It's called the game.
 

Phyzzle

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If things are that muddled, make a policy of kissing girls on the 1st date. In fact, it seems to be a rule that if you haven't kissed them on the 2nd date, you're going nowhere.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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UltimateDJuan

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What about a subtle way to almost have them ask you out without them really asking you out (I know asking them out is the non-afc thing to do, and yes we should do it) but isn't there a way to lead them on to implying that you should go out some time?

I don't know if this post made sense, it's almost morning over here.
 

realsmoothie

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I like the kiss thing.

Personally, if they're not willing to kiss on the first date, they're not really that interested anyhow, and are not nearly sexual enough for me.
 
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