"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Scuba Steve

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So, I have posted a few times since joining. I am a 45 year old who is going through a divorce after a 21 year marriage. I am newly red-pilled and a rookie at having game. I have been reading blogs and books like crazy.

Last night, I did my 1st cold approach at the gym. A girl and I were exchanging eye contact throughout the night. As I was ready to leave the gym, I remembered a quote from this site. "Rejection is better than regret"

I approached and had a brief conversation. Needless to say, I f*cked it up because within 2 minutes, I straight asked if she had a boyfriend, to which she replied, "I'm talking to someone but he's not my boyfriend." This threw me off and I pretty much ended the conversation at that point. In retrospect, I think I could have pushed through that and got her number, but I didn't because I was nervous and didn't know what to say. She was 25 and appeared interested, at least at first.

Even though I didn't get the desired result, just making the approach was huge for me. (1st one in 21 years)

Any advice?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Stallionstud

Stallionstud

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My buddy used to tell me, never end the conversation. (Obviously within reason) Basically never walk away.(unless she’s s B!tch) He saw me do that **** all the time as a teenager.

She easily could of rejected you BUT DID NOT. So you were doing everything right.... Until you walked away.
 
GT40

GT40

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Don’t ask about a BF. Did you see a ring?
Just make small talk then ask her out. Keep the convo low key and stay calm and cool.
Look her in the eyes at all times. Don’t stare at her breast ass or beaver. Eye contact always.
If she says no? Oh well. Move on
 
wifehunter

wifehunter

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Regret is better than getting involved with trash.

Next time ask if she has a dog or cat, not boyfriends...they all have those. It's like asking if she has any big toes!:D:p

 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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ohrein

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Just be proud you took a shot, even if you bailed. Don't let it get you down, each time you do it you'll be more comfortable. Next time just try to remember she's just a woman and keep the conversation simple.
 
MrWood

MrWood

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Scuba Steve said:
"I'm talking to someone but he's not my boyfriend."
Click to expand...
she could have meant you :/

and yes, you never ever ask the BF question. If they mention it after you asked them out..
"I didnt ask you about your BF, I asked you out for a drink"
 
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Scuba Steve

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MrWood said:
she could have meant you :/

and yes, you never ever ask the BF question. If they mention it after you asked them out..
"I didnt ask you about your BF, I asked you out for a drink"
Click to expand...

I didn't even think about that...
 
Killakittie

Killakittie

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If she didn't think you were attractive or interesting she would of clearly said she had a bf when you asked but she didn't and left it open..
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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