making people like you

[check_mate_kid_uk]

I have been reading the book how to win freinds and influnce people, and i have a tip for you.

"you can make more freinds in 2 months by showing intrest in people then you can in 2 years by making other people intrested in you"

In other words dont show people how great you are, show genuine intrest in them, and in what they are doing, actuly apreciate them, use their first name a lot as this will be the word like to hear most!

People want to be apreciated and if you do it they will flock to you, you will get a lot better results then if you show them how 'cool' you are.

 

[Jay-X]

but why people that are perceived as "cool" in reality, are the ones that make fun of other people a lot?! they usually are the funny guys that you love being with but that always joke about everything, even you

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

im funny quite a lot, but you wont hear me make fun of any one regularly. I think there are obviously some exceptions such as this because people wnat some one who is funny not just eg a good listiner so how can you be funny and a good listner well do both let them talk a lot but when you do talk you can still be funny.

Being funny does not get in the way of making people feel significant or apreciated. You can be funny with out it being at any ones expense.

 

[cobrajoe]

A bit of making fun of someone that you are talking to shows that you are indeed paying attention to them. But not all the jokes should be about them, for example, you can also make jokes about yourself -- I recently told a girl that i could amuse myself for hours with a shiny spoon.

It's always fun to jest at other people, as long as you can take what you dish out.

Just don't let yourself go too far. Once you start making fun of people to make yourself feel better, that's when you will start losing friends.

 

[Dictatorsaurus]

Why do you even give a rat's arse if people like you or not? you're living for yourself, not for other people's satisfaction. Also, don't show your interest in people you don't have genuine interest in. Because thats a waste of time.

 

[cobrajoe]

Yo Dictatorsaurus,

ya gotta realize that some comprimises need to be made. Sure you gotta live for yourself, but if that makes the chicks run the other way when they see ya, then maybe you went a little too far.

DJing is all about balance, this is just annother place where it needs to be applied.

 

[On_the_Top]

I agree with cobrajoe, this is one area where I feel I need to work on. A lot of the time I come off an mean and intimatading hard ass to people in public. My normal attitude is, people get in the way, who cares what others think, ect. Now its good to think that way to certain extent, I think we all here agree that to find true happiness you need to be happy with yourself and that you shouldn't have to please everyone, but we as humans still have to be social everynow and then, its in encoded in our brains. And it has been lately that I have realized to get some things, such as power and money, you do have to conceed and give some and if that means cheesing and in some cases acting intrested when you really aren't, then so be it.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

Originally posted by Dictatorsaurus
Why do you even give a rat's arse if people like you or not? you're living for yourself, not for other people's satisfaction. Also, don't show your interest in people you don't have genuine interest in. Because thats a waste of time.

if you live for yourself you could end up living by yourself. Yet I see where you are comming from and i see why you think so. In fact i respect your oppinion, I mean you are right, why should you put effort in to other people like that just do what you want. Yes i see exactly what you mean. I would just like to point out that sometimes living for other people could make you happier because they will like you.

 

[onthepath]

glad to see you reading the book

guys, it's definitley worth reading - life altering IMO

 

[Adam See]

Excellent people skills get you very far in your career.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

Originally posted by Adam See
Excellent people skills get you very far in your career.

yeah deffintly, and exceptinaly good people skills will make you rich and famous. There was a grocer in The USA , some time in the 1800's a very poor one, he found some law books under a pile of junk in his house. He decided to read, and his exceptinal people skiils made him prosper as a lawyer and go further. You have probably heard of this guy, his name is Abraham Lincoln, and most buisness men are successfull not because of their great ideas, because some one else can come up with those for them, but because of their people skills.