This is another thread based on the mistakes and experiances of my first three years of college. Initially, it was susposed to be a college topic, but i think this applies throughout your whole life.
The concept im trying to get across is making lots of friends and being popular at your school is a team effort, and your team consists of a close group of friends.
In my last posts, I advize people trying to meet as many people as they can.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=108130
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=107888
What I feel that I did not emphasize enough is that you should concentrate more on making serveral good friends rather than making lots of friends.
There are 2 mean reasons for this.
1. Most people make several good friends than lots of friends. That means that if you have alotta friends, most of your friends will be closer to several other people than they are to you. That means you will be out of the loop when it comes down to deep friends stuff like picking roomates for the next year. And who can blame them? They would rather be with someone who has the time to hang out with them and is much more dependent on their friendship, rather that some popular guy who threats you the same aa alotta other people you don't know.
Its times like these that make you realize that you are lonlyer than you think. With friendships, quality is much greater than quantity.
2. Meeting new people and being invovled in other social networks is much easier when you do it with a group rather than by yourself.
I noticed than in college, the guys/girls who are seemingly the most popular are guys who have really close friends with a group of guys/girls. At first, that may seem counter intuitive. If you concentrate of just a few guys, how would you get to know so many people? Because meeting new people is much more fun as a group, therefore more efficient. When you're in a group, your personality is displayed before you even meet other people (cuz of your group interactions).
Being in a group establishes yourself a social person. It also makes it much easier to display your personality and charm. You are sourrounded by the people who you are most comfortable with, and that makes you comfortable in any sourroundings.
I mentioned in my other post that a good way to meet friends is through clubs/sports/frats. No matter how close these organizations are, they can be broken down into smaller groups of friends. In every organization im in, i know everyone, but theirs always a handful of people that im the closest too.
Making friends in these organizations is much easier when you go with 1 or more friends. Cuz now you have serveral people working to meet new people rather than one.
Having a close group of friends does not mean you shut yourself out to the rest of the world. It means now you have several people working towards making new connections. If you have a close group of 4 people, now you will meet four times as many people as you would alone, you'll be able to go to 4x as many parties. (the math probably doesn't work that way, but you get the idea). You can also meet lots of girls through this. For example, if your friend is dating a girl who has lots of friends, your and her sets of friends will collide eventually.
Now, a lot of this depends on the type of friends you make. If your friends are anti-social, you will lead an anti-social life. If your friends are social, then you will lead a social life.
Whenever you're trying to make friends in a new school/club/frat/ect. always remember that quality is much better than quantity, and quantity can be achived through quality.
Whenever you try to make new friends in the dorms/dinning-commons/socials/events/clubs/sports, always try to get some people to go with you. Just make sure that you and your guys work towards meeting new people rather than just keeping to yourselves.
The concept im trying to get across is making lots of friends and being popular at your school is a team effort, and your team consists of a close group of friends.
In my last posts, I advize people trying to meet as many people as they can.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=108130
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=107888
What I feel that I did not emphasize enough is that you should concentrate more on making serveral good friends rather than making lots of friends.
There are 2 mean reasons for this.
1. Most people make several good friends than lots of friends. That means that if you have alotta friends, most of your friends will be closer to several other people than they are to you. That means you will be out of the loop when it comes down to deep friends stuff like picking roomates for the next year. And who can blame them? They would rather be with someone who has the time to hang out with them and is much more dependent on their friendship, rather that some popular guy who threats you the same aa alotta other people you don't know.
Its times like these that make you realize that you are lonlyer than you think. With friendships, quality is much greater than quantity.
2. Meeting new people and being invovled in other social networks is much easier when you do it with a group rather than by yourself.
I noticed than in college, the guys/girls who are seemingly the most popular are guys who have really close friends with a group of guys/girls. At first, that may seem counter intuitive. If you concentrate of just a few guys, how would you get to know so many people? Because meeting new people is much more fun as a group, therefore more efficient. When you're in a group, your personality is displayed before you even meet other people (cuz of your group interactions).
Being in a group establishes yourself a social person. It also makes it much easier to display your personality and charm. You are sourrounded by the people who you are most comfortable with, and that makes you comfortable in any sourroundings.
I mentioned in my other post that a good way to meet friends is through clubs/sports/frats. No matter how close these organizations are, they can be broken down into smaller groups of friends. In every organization im in, i know everyone, but theirs always a handful of people that im the closest too.
Making friends in these organizations is much easier when you go with 1 or more friends. Cuz now you have serveral people working to meet new people rather than one.
Having a close group of friends does not mean you shut yourself out to the rest of the world. It means now you have several people working towards making new connections. If you have a close group of 4 people, now you will meet four times as many people as you would alone, you'll be able to go to 4x as many parties. (the math probably doesn't work that way, but you get the idea). You can also meet lots of girls through this. For example, if your friend is dating a girl who has lots of friends, your and her sets of friends will collide eventually.
Now, a lot of this depends on the type of friends you make. If your friends are anti-social, you will lead an anti-social life. If your friends are social, then you will lead a social life.
Whenever you're trying to make friends in a new school/club/frat/ect. always remember that quality is much better than quantity, and quantity can be achived through quality.
Whenever you try to make new friends in the dorms/dinning-commons/socials/events/clubs/sports, always try to get some people to go with you. Just make sure that you and your guys work towards meeting new people rather than just keeping to yourselves.
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