Making friends as an adult.

[AlmostThere!]

I know some people are in my boat. Older than 25, don't really have a social life, and find it difficult to make friends/meet people. I never went to college, but I wish that I was in college now just for the social aspects of it.

I've been using Craigslist (activities section), MeetUp.com, and Yelp. I'm thinking about just walking around my neighborhood or going into local bars and befriending people. Other than that, it seems very difficult to meet people when you're not in school. My workplace isn't good as most folks are old enough to be my parents.

Has anybody successful created a social network as an adult without being in school? Please share your insight.

 

[Jean Valjean]

Take up a hobby and volunteer somewhere. I volunteer at dance socials and have met alot of people but it is still hard to get past just casual friendship. You have to spend time with them and bond.

 

[omkara]

This may sound obvious, but usually people make friends when they have to be somewhere for a long time for some other reason. I have seen this over and over again. It has more to do with that than with personality. Like these 3 girls who sit in front of me in one class have a very tight group because they all work in the same lab. And otherwise they probably would have nothing to do with each other.

Relationships that are formed over the internet tend to be flaky, because people have nothing invested in it. The setup makes it too easy to flake out. The one exception to this might be a romantic relationship.

I met my drummer off of CL, but that was just a way for us to meet. Now we spend a lot of time together because we both have a vested interest in the project. Friendship naturally evolves from there, provided that you are personable and your personalities are compatible.

So when I think about forming lasting relationships, I think of what am I going to spend a lot of time doing. So I would echo what the previous poster said... work and hobbies that add to the quality of your life. If your work isn't a good place to meet people, then this might be a factor to consider when you make your next career move.

Meeting people in bars and off of CL is good practice for social skills, even if it never leads to anything.

 

[zekko]

Guys tend to form friendships because they like to do the same types of things together. The friendship then revolves around that activity. Like learn to play golf, for instance, if that's not too expensive for you. Or maybe a bowling league if that's more your thing? Basketball or baseball league?
Join a church or a gym and meet people there?

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

Yeah man it's just like picking up women in terms of effort...

You need to try it, fail a few times, and repeat until you're sociable and comfortable enough. Once you've got yourself under control, you will eventually find people whose lifestyles and general worldview match your own.

I think you'll find that it's tough... very tough. However, I met my current gf through my roommates, who met her and her male friends at a bar one night. It can be highly rewarding!

 

[everywomanshero]

Dude you're missing the most obvious way to make guy friends. You meet them through women. When I meet women at bars for their friends bday parties and stuff, there is usually some married joker or chicks bf there. That's the easiest way to make friends. Then you can hang out until you ditch the chick and possible even after.

Honestly, I never try to make guy friends because I dont really need them, but end up with some as a matter of chance.

 

[Energizer]

I find it easy to make friends. Over the last three years I have become a lot more sociable. I now have the confidence to introduce myself to people, I have the confidence to strike up conservations with anyone, where ever I maybe. I made a new friend last week through him refitting my kitchen. The lad is a friendly enough lad and we bonded over cigarettes, it's funny how cigarettes can be a major social tool. I have met many a woman at smoking areas. "Excuse me, do you have a cigarette?", "Of course lovely" and the conversation goes from there.

I suggest taking up some hobbies, what are you interested in? Only you will know, say for instance you are into rock climbing, a find a place near by or several miles out that does rock climbing and join one of their classes, you'll meet new people and you'll strike up friendships there.

Making friends is the easy part, it's selecting the right ones who will have your back at all times that's the hard part, I'm thankful I am tight with about six or seven who have got my back no matter what.