So last night I ended up going back to this girls place on a count of that I saw her out and ended up giving her a ride home. Anyway we ended up the couch right next to each other pretty close and started to watch tv. I was looking for the right opportunity to throw my arm around her but couldn't find it. We flirted a bit making direct eye contact but I wasn't feeling right about just going for it. While we held eye contact she kept asking me what and I brushed it off but it wasn't like awkward more in like a cute way. I just felt like throwing my arm around her with out the right momentum would be weird. Anyway her cable went out and we wereally both tired so I just decided to go home. I felt like I could and probably should have mad me a move but I just didn't know how I was feeling about it. Anyway i definately didn't find the way she acted awkward but almost like she was being shy. Needless to say I dont think I ****ed up with her and am sure Ill have another opportunity. How do u guys normally handle this bc I such at this ****.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
making a move
- Thread starter datkid55
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I just had similar situation like this. In cases like this I go all-in right in her mouth ASAP, i hate awkward stuff, odds are big time that she will accept it.
My logic is like following: you had a date(she had initial interest), she invited you(I mean dude if a girl invites u to her place, do u think she does that so u guys can play chess?), she sits next to you on the couch. One could argue that she wanted to be polite and give u just something to drink or eat, but man, if u guys ended up on the couch close to each other and especially she flirts instead of focusing on TV... Would uninterested chick do that?
My logic is like following: you had a date(she had initial interest), she invited you(I mean dude if a girl invites u to her place, do u think she does that so u guys can play chess?), she sits next to you on the couch. One could argue that she wanted to be polite and give u just something to drink or eat, but man, if u guys ended up on the couch close to each other and especially she flirts instead of focusing on TV... Would uninterested chick do that?
I think round one went to your lack of confidence, but fear not you did not screw up so bad she won't keep trying. Odds are she will test the water one more time but I would go the other way and actually invite her out on a real date now. No confusion in that situation. just make sure you have a place to invite her to so you can be more intimate next time.
Take charge my man!
Take charge my man!
MOTU
Master Don Juan
Dude, read Pook's 15 lessons in the DJ bible. "It's the sexual guys that get the girls".
You have to take action in that situation. Start some kino, touch her arm, leg, face, hair. Go for this kiss. If you start kino and she says "what are you doing" say "touching you" then go for the kiss. If she rejects you, cool, now you know where you stand.
"Rejection is better than regret".
Careful with this one, if you start texting her like your her gf you could end up in the friendzone.
You have to take action in that situation. Start some kino, touch her arm, leg, face, hair. Go for this kiss. If you start kino and she says "what are you doing" say "touching you" then go for the kiss. If she rejects you, cool, now you know where you stand.
"Rejection is better than regret".
Careful with this one, if you start texting her like your her gf you could end up in the friendzone.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
"Rejection is better than regret".
I agree with that one. Also add to that - if you ***** foot around you will not be taken seriously and she'll know your not the man for her. If you go for it and she responds favorably GREAT. If she pushes you away well then it was not going to happen anyway and you can cut your losses and get out now.
I agree with that one. Also add to that - if you ***** foot around you will not be taken seriously and she'll know your not the man for her. If you go for it and she responds favorably GREAT. If she pushes you away well then it was not going to happen anyway and you can cut your losses and get out now.
In a dance class, the teacher once said: while dancing, if you put your hand on the girls ass, she will move it up, you put it on her ass again and she will walk off. So I figured, you have to put your hand on her ass, as you have nothing to lose, you either get a warning or a go-ahead. So, try something.
OP: she wanted you to initiate something, you couldn't find the opportunity? You lacked imagination to create one. Put yourself in the girl's position, she knows exactly what's up, she just wanted you to play the right tune and she would dance to it. Some notes can be off and she'll brush them away, but play off key, stop and stutter, and she'll stop and stare. Can't allow yourself just anything, it has to come from a natural flow, there has to be a build up, then action.
OP: she wanted you to initiate something, you couldn't find the opportunity? You lacked imagination to create one. Put yourself in the girl's position, she knows exactly what's up, she just wanted you to play the right tune and she would dance to it. Some notes can be off and she'll brush them away, but play off key, stop and stutter, and she'll stop and stare. Can't allow yourself just anything, it has to come from a natural flow, there has to be a build up, then action.
VladPatton
Master Don Juan
Prime her up hours in advance...
Yeah, it's definitely nerve racking. It is better to start getting touchy with her way before you're up on her couch in an awkward position. Start on the date, at the bar, during the walk, on the way up in the stairs, this way you build it and build it, and when you get her alone she's ready to go to Poundtown! You're not starting from scratch anymore. Try it out next time thought your night with her and see how it goes.
Yeah, it's definitely nerve racking. It is better to start getting touchy with her way before you're up on her couch in an awkward position. Start on the date, at the bar, during the walk, on the way up in the stairs, this way you build it and build it, and when you get her alone she's ready to go to Poundtown! You're not starting from scratch anymore. Try it out next time thought your night with her and see how it goes.
I totally have broken the kino barrier with her already like I'll just play with her hair and I was playing with her nose ring hands on her arms it was just more of the actually kiss that gets me. Next time I get her out I think I'm just gonna grab her and just pull her close to me and just look her in the eyes and then go for it. No way am I lettin this happen again.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
So by not making a move I definately feel like I set myself back. I texted her 2 days after I hung out wi the her last and she responded everything seemed fine and I asked her to hang out the next day to which she said yeah depending what time she got back home at. Needless to say we never hungout although I feel her excuse was genuine. It's going on a week since I texted her last about the is and we haven't been in contact since which seems a little odd bc we would text every few days. I know if I text she'll probably respond bc despite the fact that we like each other we are friends before that. I just feel like such a ****ing moron for not taking any action. So guys what should I do? How much longer should I go no contact before I ask her to hangout again?
2 more days. 2 days from today, ask her to hang out again. If she pulls another excuse, wait another 5-7 days before asking her to hang out again. If she pulls yet ANOTHER excuse, you next her. If she was interested, she'd make a way. If she viewed you as high-value, she'd make a way.
Next time, escalate my friend. By not trying to escalate when you're sitting next to one another on a couch alone with no one else around, she assumes that you aren't that interested in her. And understandably so.
Next time, escalate my friend. By not trying to escalate when you're sitting next to one another on a couch alone with no one else around, she assumes that you aren't that interested in her. And understandably so.