Making a move on a friend without risking a lot...

[damnbugs]

One of the girls in my group of friends is a HB8 with a smokin tiny body. I have known her for years and we have partied together a lot.
I hadn't considered her before because she was part of the group of friends. But I think this is changing- for both of us. I am the "nice guy" exspeacially with my friends. We talk quit a bit and I usually end it and leave. Latley after the bars it has been cold and she is always wearing skimpy cloths - so I end up offering her my shirt. Its now to the point that she comes and asks for it. I don't make a big deal of it and the other girls in the group laugh and say "you have his shirt again?".
When we load into someones car or a cab she ends up sitting on my lap. We both crash at a friends house on a regular basis and this past weekend there were a bunch of people there so the two of us ended up sharing the couch- sleeping with our heads at oppisite ends though. We were all really drunk and didn't go to sleep till 4am or so. I was bugging her about how long her toes were and I was touching her feet and once we were laying down on the couch I gave her a bit of a foot message.
I plan on moving slowly with it and seeing if I can get it to the point where she makes the first move or it just sort of happens. I am not looking for a LTR so I think I need to be careful and not come on too strongly.

Anyways- now I'm babbling- What I am looking for is ideas to increase the attraction and ways to make a move without risking the friendship or making it awkward in the group.

Thanks.

 

[DJ_Dork]

No, you're lying. You did "consider" her before, you were just too wimpy to ask her out romantically or maybe you didn't really consider her until after being friends with her.

Let me ask you a question. Does she get emotional over the things you do? If no, then she doesn't care that much about you except as a friend.

These things happen, the guy gets very comfortable being around a girl and assume there can be a sexually intimate relationship after being "friends" with her.

That's pretty deceptive.

 

[squirrels]

First of all, whatever you do, don't just suddenly spring, "You know, I really like you as MORE than a friend" on her. It won't work. If you want to reveal your attraction for her, do it through your actions and body language, a little at a time.

Second of all, there is NO way to do this without "risking a lot". You're risking EVERYTHING, as a matter of fact.

It's a roll of the dice. When you start upping the sexual tension, she'll either be attracted to you back or she won't.

If she IS, then you may be headed for a nice relationship.

If she IS NOT, then she'll let you know, either through her response to your behavior or just outright. If you persist after this point instead of returning to a platonic frame of mind, you will most likely creep her out.

I'm concerned that the reason she sleeps in the same bed as you and sits on your lap and does all this stuff is because she feels that you're "safe" and she can get that buddy affection from you without you ever "making a move" on her. Or maybe she feels the same way you do and all you have to do is make that move. Either way, you are definitely changing the dynamic of the relationship.

You need to ask yourself what's more important...her the FRIEND, or her the LOVER.

 

[chancer]

First thing is first, don't take any of this personal

"I am not looking for a LTR so I think I need to be careful and not come on too strongly."

Look man... You're lieing to yourself. Don't do that. You must always expose yourself to become better. THere's no way in hell that this girl wont want relationship if anything happens. I know.

It's happened to me. I knew this girl for a long time... Over 5 years. I didn't touch her toes or massage her feet. I didn't do any of that. I could care less if she was interested in me, although i did like her in the past. She just came on to me one day she was over, and that was the end of it. I told her from the begining that I didn't want a relationship. But guess what? She kept coming. Then came the drama. I tell her I want to be friends and she wants to try pulling me in with booty calls.

Back to the point. I think this goes deeper than the simple fact that she's not going to play ball without trying to tie you up with chains. Stop lieing to yourself. You do want an LTR, that's why you rub her feet, that's why you lend her your coat, and that's why you want to higher her interest level.

First things first... Forget about her. If anything's going to happen, it's going to start with her.

 

[damnbugs]

OK- first things first- I am not lying- I do not lie- I find no point in it- plus it makes for too much to remember.

Now while I do hear where you guys are coming from and I guess I can see why you are assuming that I am an AFC- but although that may have been true in the past- its not now.

I am being set up by a girl I barley know- with her sister friday- One of my friends GF is setting me up with a friend of hers I met once- I also have an X from long ago as a BC. So NO I don't want a LTR!

All of these girls are from seperate "worlds" so I am thinking I will be able to manage it. I have been able to jugle 4 in the past without getting caught.

What I am planning on doing with my friend is to increase the CF and blame the closeness on her and tease her that I know she whats more, etc. I will keep doing hit and runs and having a good time with her and wait for the right moment- or try to get her to make the first move.

So if anyone has some good advice to help thing progress smoothly- I'm all ears...