"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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make me a meal plan

AmazingTricks

Don Juan
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hello interested pimpamaniac.

thank you for your interest in helping me become diesel.

i used this calculator here (http://michaelandkendra.com/BMRCALC/bmrcalc.htm)
to come up with the following numbers:

cuttin: 1600-1920 cals

990 protein
630 carbs
180 fat

that's what the calc said.

now, im not taking whey (yet) nor any supplements or stimulants.

can someone recomend any? timing/dosage would be just splendid.

basically i'm just looking for a me-specific meal plan...if you could give variations of it that'd be good too. ideas are also welcome. basically anything about my diet would be helpful. lemme know if you need any other info. thanks a ton.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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AmazingTricks

Don Juan
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i understand this is a selfish question but if someone could take the time to properly answer it, i would greatly benefit from it.
 

gav

Master Don Juan
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first of all, break those calories down into grams (divide carb and protein calories by 4, fats by 9)

250g protein
160g carbs
20g fat

i can tell you from experience that that is a very low amount of carbs and will not let you bulk up. i may be wrong, but that's what happened in my case (i was 300-400g protein a day with 200-250g carbs and i wasn't gaining weight)

secondly, food: no idea dude, depends what you like. most of my protein comes from chicken; i supplement baked beans in there with most meals to top up the protein and increase the carbs

anyways, i recommend diesel's guide, fvck what that website told you
 

semag

Master Don Juan
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Here's a few sample days from my diet... I'm still dialing it in, I might increase my calories a bit more.

Low Calorie non-WO day (missing a protein shake)


Typical WO Day


Typical non-WO day (probably a little low on cals for me)
 

MindOverMatter

Master Don Juan
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i can tell you from experience that that is a very low amount of carbs and will not let you bulk up
He's not trying to bulk up, he's trying to cut. It's not a bad meal plan for cutting.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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MindOverMatter

Master Don Juan
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As for the original poster.

1.) here is your allowed foods list http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/xenoart5.htm . You will create your grocery list and meal plans from this.

2.) research your foods at http://www.nal.usda.gov/fnic/foodcomp/search/ .

3.) Make a consistent meal plan that you will stick to.

for supplements, this is what you should get:

-whey protein
-glutamine
-multivitamins/minerals
-creatine monohydrate (optional)

the time to take the supplements is as follows:

-multivits/minerals: with your morning meal

-whey protein: 3 different servings
serving 1.) as soon as you wake up, 1 scoop with 500ML milk (skim)
serving 2.) before your workout, with 1 serving of glutamine, and 1 serving of creatine (if you decide to use creatine)
serving 3.) after your workout, with 1 serving of glutamine and creatine (optional)
 

AmazingTricks

Don Juan
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Thanks mom, that is quite a help.
I may look into creatine, once I hit the "wall."
More links are welcome...I must know all!
 
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