Rockadeimis
Don Juan
You might be coming off as too needy, I know I told my girl that same crap about "figuring it out". Ease back on him, that will draw him closer. That's your only shot babe.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Major Advice!!!
- Thread starter Jus_LikeCandy
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Jus_LikeCandy
Banned
I think that is it. When he came back, after the six month break, he went on about how he missed me and I was his weakness, and some guys said, don't call him until he pursues a little more. But, I did and he sort of back off a little..... I'll easy back and leave the ball in his court. The one fear I do have is he won't call. But, I guess I'll know then.
Sadly, the best relationships:
START with attraction
PROGRESS with rapport
then and only then
CONSOLIDATE with sex.
Looks like you may have missed some bits.
The best you can hope for is to try cutting the sex - I mean it, cut it out - and work on something other than his c0ck for a change.
However, he's probably already firmly pegged you into the male-brain department marked
"easy lay, no respect for you"
but who knows, he might actually like the person attached to the pu*sy, too.
START with attraction
PROGRESS with rapport
then and only then
CONSOLIDATE with sex.
Looks like you may have missed some bits.
The best you can hope for is to try cutting the sex - I mean it, cut it out - and work on something other than his c0ck for a change.
However, he's probably already firmly pegged you into the male-brain department marked
"easy lay, no respect for you"
but who knows, he might actually like the person attached to the pu*sy, too.
Jus_LikeCandy
Banned
That was cold, but maybe true.... I wish it had went the other way. But, we went out twice and then went out on my birthday last year, which, it was my first time going out to a club. I got a little too drunk and we hooked up.....And have been hooking since.
Ya'll are making me feel like a slut..
Ya'll are making me feel like a slut..
Jus_LikeCandy
Banned
I feel like a slut for the first time in my life. Thanks everyone.
But, seriously, That was my first Fvck buddy situation. I have only had two serious relationships... I try, slip into something new and I really fall for this guy. Now, I feel like an @ss. There is probably no way to reverse and start fresh..
But, seriously, That was my first Fvck buddy situation. I have only had two serious relationships... I try, slip into something new and I really fall for this guy. Now, I feel like an @ss. There is probably no way to reverse and start fresh..
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Jus_LikeCandy
Banned
More advice people!!! Keep it coming!!!!!!!
Rockadeimis
Don Juan
I told you already, forget this guy, come to CT.
...Or be honest with him about where you see the relationship going.
...Or make him work for that ass, don't go cold turkey on him though, he will be suspicious. Slowly but surely pull back, he'll decide if he thinks your worth it. Just be prepared to move on.
And come to CT. Good luck.
...Or be honest with him about where you see the relationship going.
...Or make him work for that ass, don't go cold turkey on him though, he will be suspicious. Slowly but surely pull back, he'll decide if he thinks your worth it. Just be prepared to move on.
And come to CT. Good luck.
Jus_LikeCandy
Banned
Make him work for it..... How so.... I am prepared to move on. But, as soon as I do, he will be back..
Mr.De Beer
Don Juan
Sorry, just noticed you went to a club the first time you were 22...Sorry, yeah. I also suggest you cut the sex for a while (damn!) But its the only way youre going to progress. Think about, if he's only after your ass, hes not the guy you want to have a relationship with. (Although the sex is pretty good, I must say...he he he)
Good luck Candy
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Do not conform to the patterns of the world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind..
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Peace
Good luck Candy
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Do not conform to the patterns of the world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind..
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Peace
PRMoon
Master Don Juan
Next time when you're dating a guy and there's "bad timing" involved, don't start bedding him in order to keep him. Building something on a mental level is far more powerful and if that's not the direction he wants to go in, and what you really want is a relationship, then suck it up and move on.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Jus_LikeCandy
Banned
Well, the bad timing was on my part. I chose to get involved with someone at the wrong time in my life and sort of drug him through the mud. I guess I should be glad he doesn't hate me.
Mr.De Beer
Don Juan
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Building something on a mental level is far more powerful...
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True, very true. Listen to the master...
Building something on a mental level is far more powerful...
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True, very true. Listen to the master...
Jus_LikeCandy
Banned
That's true and coincidental. He mentioned something like that when he stayed over on Friday. I think it is more my fault. I don't really listen to what he says. I am kind of selfish and only see what I want.
Clitvin
Don Juan
You guys are giving HORRRIBBBBLEE advice.
CUT THE SEX?! That won't work!!! Are you nuts?!
If it was me in his place and she just cut the sex, I'd just think
she was seeing someone else and move on.
This is retarded. You can't start as a FB and then cut the sex to get into a relationship.
CUT THE SEX?! That won't work!!! Are you nuts?!
If it was me in his place and she just cut the sex, I'd just think
she was seeing someone else and move on.
This is retarded. You can't start as a FB and then cut the sex to get into a relationship.
Jus_LikeCandy
Banned
Okay. So, when I say that i don't want to have sex, he is fine with that. he doesn't pressure and he'll still come over and we'll chill. I don't think he would have a problem. He came over before cause he said he missed me and just wanted to hug me. And that's all he did. He didn't try anything else....
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Jus_LikeCandy
Banned
What guy falls asleep with their arms around a girl and holding their hand if she doesn't mean anything to them...?? Do men do that????
PRMoon
Master Don Juan
Cutting the sex isn't the awnser to all of your problems. Your not putting yourself out there correctly. You're asking him what he wants and he's kind of running around and being elusive about it. You might want to try telling him what you want out of your relationship. It's a little risky, but you'll be sure to get some kind of results because you've taken the intiative.
I've said it time and time again, the best way to manage a relationship is through open lines of communication. Since neither of you has psychic abilities, you have to be open to talking to one another about how you feel and give opinions on what you think about. When you two can freely talk to one another about things a relationship will develop. The key is getting things out in the open and dealing with them. It may not work out for the best and It seems like it'll definately be hard for the two of you becaue neither of you is good at espressing emotion but I'm telling you it's the best way.
I've said it time and time again, the best way to manage a relationship is through open lines of communication. Since neither of you has psychic abilities, you have to be open to talking to one another about how you feel and give opinions on what you think about. When you two can freely talk to one another about things a relationship will develop. The key is getting things out in the open and dealing with them. It may not work out for the best and It seems like it'll definately be hard for the two of you becaue neither of you is good at espressing emotion but I'm telling you it's the best way.
Craig Reeves
Master Don Juan
Heh, you'll be surprised.Because most girls aren't going to just boink a guy without a relationship unless she's a *****.
Jus_LikeCandy
Banned
He doesn't communicate well at all. He speaks in riddles all the time and I guess I do too. Would you do this with a girl, hold her if she didn't mean anything?
PRMoon
Master Don Juan
Yes I've done that before and it's meant nothing to me. Sometimes feels good physically doesn't equate to emotional attachment. People can be ambigous like that.Originally posted by Jus_LikeCandy
He doesn't communicate well at all. He speaks in riddles all the time and I guess I do too. Would you do this with a girl, hold her if she didn't mean anything?
Look if you really want to make this thing work or even see if you have a chance you have to take the intiative. Since I was right and you're both not very direct with your communication and "speak in riddles" READ like to play games, you have to, for lack of better words, man up and be forward with him. Or if you want to you can continue with your little song and dance until you two just drift apart or one of you meets someone new and moves on. The choice is yours.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.