"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Maintaining Mystery and Challenge

Panther

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A recurrent theme in my recent love life (or lack thereof!) is:

Me around girl I am interested: acting mysterious, aloof but friendly, a challenge but occasionally giving mixed signals.

Girl starts giving me interest signals
I keep doing the above.
Girl gives me even more interest signals

I decide she's well into me, go for her, the mystery and challenge is gone (since now she knows i'm interested) and her IL drops.

So give me some tips on how to go for a girl I'm interested in and who has fallen for my mystery-challenge persona, without losing her IL...

I think an important thing is next time, remember to keep my mouth shut!

What about me being flirty and kinoing, but at same time tell her she's a great friend and we should be best buds etc? Would that work?

Awaiting for suggestions

ThePanther DJ-wannabe
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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squirrels

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Define "go for her." Did you just "sell out" and start calling her, sending her flowers, worshipping her, etc?

Or did you just ask for the digits/try to set a date and she flaked?
 
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The mystery/chalenge 'tactic' only goes so far, some girls would see this as disinterest or 'game-playing' on your part.

The friend or 'buddy' business - why you young kids acr like you want to be 'friends' with a girl just doesn't add up, unless of course, you are not confident enough to pursue her as a man would. Only pursue women romantically, and for no other reason!

The best tip for 'keepinhg' her is not to act so scared that you are going to lose her!!! Confidence my man, confidence! If she goes, then bid her farewell, with a smile!!
 

Panther

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Well, what happened the most recent time, I talk about in my post "Field Report - Date Blunder?"

Basically she flaked when I called her to set up a second date, and was wondering how the fxxx her IL dropped so much.

And on the "buddy" thing, I read it on "double your dating".

Basically you are going for the girl romantically, and your non-verbal signals are of sexual interest, but verbally you joke around with her that "we should be friends" and that is supposed to work. Haven't tried it tho

ThePanther
 
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Only she knows the true reason why her interest level dropped!!
On the 'buddy' thing, don't listen to that crap! That 'buddy' stuff only works on the mentality of children, and not women. Why would you approach a women in the context of being a friend when they already know why you are in their presence. This is a cowardly approach. If she didn't have a vagina would you be there? No!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Reto

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PR...Read double Your Dating and you'll know what he's talking about...
 

DJmonster

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I think telling a girl she's a good friend or whatever could work to raise her interest level by making you more of a challenge, but I agree with PR, in that, it's pretty laim. There are much better ways to be a challenge without trying to use tricks like that. Stick to the basics, and work on your self control.
 
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