Maintaining attraction over the Christmas break

[d0g]

Hey guys,

I met a girl a week ago, and had drinks with her yesterday. She came over to my place afterwards for a few more drinks, but no lay (my game still needs a *lot* of work!). However, I was getting a bunch of kino in, and she was reciprocating, and generally I thought the conversation went well (we stuck to sexual topics, to try stay out of the dreaded friend zone).

Request for advice:

The girl left today to go back home for the Christmas holidays. We'll be away from where we live for the next 3 weeks. The question is: what should I do to keep her attracted while we're apart?

Strategy #1: no contact. When I get back into town in January, call her out of the blue, and get her to make me a dinner she promised she was skilled at cooking.

What are some other strategies? Which do you think is best?

Cheers,
d0g

P.S. This is a follow-up to http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=200310 ; thanks to ARrocket and Harry for their advice there.

 

[Boilermaker]

There are no other strategies.

What will you do? Skype every other day?

No contact.

You should focus on other things as well, when there's only one egg in the basket; people tend to fail.

Especially in the beginning.

 

[dap]

Go NC. She will probably contact YOU, which is good. Respond positively but be brief (NO LONG CONVERSATIONS). You are busy (remember?) and have cool shi't to do so you can't be tied up on the phone all day. Escalate more when you get back in town.

 

[d0g]

Got a text message from her a couple of hours ago (presumably after her flight arrived home): "I had a fun time last night. Hope you caught up on sleep "

Should I reply to that?

Otherwise, yeah, sure, NC until she returns. And don't worry, over the holidays I'll be going out a *lot*. I've failed enough in the past few months that I'm much better about not developing oneitis.

Thanks!

 

[Mog116]

Won't going no contact for 3 weeks make the girl forget him?

 

[AriMamba]

Sure contact her if you want to find her in the street in the arms of another man. but in all seriousness, go have fun and forget about her. When you get back talk to her like you never left and wait for her to ask you if you are back.

 

[Le killeur]

I have an IDENTICAL problem. What should i do if she seems to contact me like every other day on skype or fb? Be brief? It appears as if im coming off as not interested which will in turn push her away? Anyways i believe NC is probably best then escalate like no other when you see her again

 

[Harry Wilmington]

In response to the OP: anytime a situation occurs where you are questioning if a certain action you take with a girl will have a negative consequence, ask yourself "how would a girl with high interest respond to this?"

For example: if you go no contact during the 3-week holiday, your fear is she'll forget about you. Ask yourself the question: "Would a girl with high interest forget who I was or how I made her feel in only 3 weeks?" Speaking as a guy who was able to hook up with a girl he didn't talk to for almost 2 years, I can assure you the answer is "no." She would only forget about you if she had LOW interest, in which case she wouldn't have dated you anyway. Plus, think about it: if you don't talk to her for 3 weeks, are YOU going to forget about HER? Of course not!

Now, since she's reaching out to YOU, it would obviously be rude not to respond. So, respond, but keep the convo limited - chat for a bit then say you're about to do an activity with friends/family, but that it was nice to hear from her. However, you should avoid starting convos with her - its the holidays, so you can use that as your excuse.

@Le killeur: if she's hitting u up every other day, that's a GOOD thing - it means she's highly interested. However, you should be using those opportunities to set up future dates. Also, you don't want to make it look like you're available on skype or FB to talk all the time - it gives the impression you spend all day on the cpu. Have a couple of days out the week where you turns these messaging sevices off so she can't see when you're online. The more mysterious you are about your whereabouts the more she'll be thinking about what you're doing, which helps to buid up attraction.

Hope this helps!

 

[Plutoman]

I was gonna reply, but seriously - Harry's on top of this and beat me to it. What he said, really, spot on.

 

[dap]

Won't going no contact for 3 weeks make the girl forget him?

Welcome to So Suave

 

[d0g]

Thanks, Harry.

Done. I'm incommunicado unless she gets hold of me, or until we're both back in the New Year. Then I'll get to find out what the real deal is.