Maintaining a long distance relationship and moving abroad.

[shizz702]

Hey fellas, a lot of you already know what's going in my life currently with my LTR gf being deported, if not you can check my thread here: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=182786

Well after dealing with immigration lawyers and researching this stuff the only real option we have to be together is for me to move to Mexico.

At first the prospect of that was an outright no to me, but we have since been keeping in touch daily and she has given me some things to think about and shared some thought provoking insights as well.

Her Mother is moving down there with a nice sum of money and they are going to buy a house in Acapulco (nice beach area) and she told me I am more than welcome to join them, and that her family supports it as well. She also said no rush or worries on my finding work there, though of course I would want to work eventually anyway.

I know this seems kind of far fetched, and I am undecided at the moment, and am trying to think with my brain and not just my heart here. I love this girl and think that not only do I not want to let her go, but what if I were to make the move and we have a happy life there?

She also said she will marry me upon my arrival.

So what do you guys think? For the most part my family supports it as not only did they like her but ultimately they tell me that if this will make me happy then to go for it. I've also even had some friends comment that this is almost like the chance of a lifetime, to live on the beach.

Where we are at with it currently is it will take a minimum of 6 months (the mom is staying here for about 3 months to let her younger brother finish high school here before they move back to Mexico) or so for them to buy their house and get established. She wants to have everything all set up and essentially have a good life to offer me before I make the move.

I am going to put in for a week off mid summer to go and visit her and see how things are, and to also talk more about this. You can only get so much out of the phone, and obviously I will get a better vibe talking to her face to face bout this. I also plan to take one more vacation down there before I make the move, if I do.

At this point I've concluded I just have to let time go by and see how things go when I visit her, and take it from there. She assured me she has no problem waiting, and will wait a year if that's what it takes.

Just want to hear some feedback and any advice on maintaining a long distance relationship and if you guys think that this is worth considering, or should I just let it go and deem it impractical?

 

[powpow]

Personally I say go for it. Its a ballin story to tell the grandkids. Its a life adventure. Take the opportunity.

 

[Cyclops]

If you are goig to marry the girl, why cant you live in the states?

 

[shizz702]

Personally I say go for it. Its a ballin story to tell the grandkids. Its a life adventure. Take the opportunity.

I am leaning towards it. You only got one life to live and in my case I've lived in Vegas all my life and this may be a great opportunity for me to garner some unique life experience, and learn a new culture, language, etc.

 

[shizz702]

If you are goig to marry the girl, why cant you live in the states?

We can, but will have to wait 10 years. Under the new harsh immigration laws, once someone is given an order of deportation that has illegally lived here for over 180 days, they are given a 10 year ban. The only way to fight that is by filing an I-601 waiver and you have to prove "extreme hardship," which in our case we don't have that. Even those that do have a legitimate case rarely get approved once they are deported. Trust me, we have researched and beat this thing to death, this is the only way we can be together.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

If you can find a job there, I am all for it.

 

[synergy1]

If you can find a job there, I am all for it.

yeah bro, i'd use this opportunity to the the F out of the states, for good if possible.

 

[shizz702]

If you can find a job there, I am all for it.

She spoke with the Registro Civil in her town and was told after we marry and go through the immigration process I would be able to legally work there within a year. For the mean time she said there would be no worries on me working and that they would take care of me. Plus I would be going there with a chunk of change to get me by for a bit. From what I gather there native English speakers are valued there for tourism jobs, and there is a cert you can obtain to teach English there as well. I'm not really worried about finding a great job there, just something to get by, where I can live a simple life, be happy with my lady and start a family. That's pretty much what we plan on doing anyway.

 

[shizz702]

yeah bro, i'd use this opportunity to the the F out of the states, for good if possible.

Yea bro the more I think about, that's how I'm feeling. I'm getting burnt out on the rat race out here. Is it better over there? I don't know, but I do know I'll never know if I don't try. I'd rather take some risks in life then sit around and let it pass me by.

 

[Chickfight]

Sounds awesome. I'd do it in heartbeat.

 

[shizz702]

Sounds awesome. I'd do it in heartbeat.

Glad to be hearing some positive feedback at the prospect of this.

Any tips on the long distance thing for now? We will probably talk twice or week or so, at first we were talking everyday but I know we can't, nor should we keep that up as reducing the frequency will make for better, more appreciated conversation.

Also, I was thinking we can keep it old school and hand write each other some letters too.

 

[LoneWolf]

sounds like a romance movie happening here bro. i'd go for it. you can always move back if things don't work out... not the end of the world. good luck to you and your life with her

 

[Blahhh]

Go for it... meanwhile u can maintain the relationship from afar real cheap by whatsapping smses/VOIP calls (skype or fringe etc).

 

[shizz702]

sounds like a romance movie happening here bro. i'd go for it. you can always move back if things don't work out... not the end of the world. good luck to you and your life with her

Haha believe it or not I've thought about writing a book about this if all goes well. I know I could move back if things don't work but I will be sacrificing my life out here (job, place, car) and it would be tough starting over. Even though I have to give my life up here, I don't really care, as I love this girl, and just don't want to let her pass me by. I've gamble on a few women in my time, but I'm ready to cash in my chips on this one. Basically my mind set is if I go, I'm not coming back. We agreed will be do whatever it takes to make it work.

Thanks, I appreciate the kind words.

 

[shizz702]

Go for it... meanwhile u can maintain the relationship from afar real cheap by whatsapping smses/VOIP calls (skype or fringe etc).

Lol well she is currently in a rural area with no internet, it will be a few months before her Mom comes down and they get settled in Acapulco. So I've just been using phone cards for now.

 

[shizz702]

Just wanted to update this....

We have kept it together and talk daily, usually 3x a week. Everything is looking good and where it stands now I'm going to make the move in August and we have decided we want to get married.

My family and friends support me on it, and I already have everything lined up to sell my assets and save up a nice chuck of change to go down there with. I also have made arrangements with my employer to put in for a leave of absence just in case things don't work out so I have some job security but I have no intention on coming back.

This may work out for the best. Honestly, after doing a lot of thinking I'm ready to get out of here and take a chance, experience and learn a new way of life. This experience has been very humbling thus far and really shifted my perspective on things.

I will keep this updated as time goes on. That's it for now, for the mean time still doing my thing in the gym, saving my money, and aprender espanol!

 

[shizz702]

Edit: double post

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

I remember like a month ago you were talking about moving on now your talking about getting married. If you are truely happy wither her then I am all for it. I'm happy for you.

 

[shizz702]

I remember like a month ago you were talking about moving on now your talking about getting married. If you are truely happy wither her then I am all for it. I'm happy for you.

Yea at the time the thought of settling down there was out of the question but then after discussing it with her and thinking it through I realized it was doable.

I don't want to let this one go. I've been through a few women in my time and this is the only one I've ever truly loved and I honestly believe I will be content to spend the rest of my life with her.

 

[cordoncordon]

Yea at the time the thought of settling down there was out of the question but then after discussing it with her and thinking it through I realized it was doable.

I don't want to let this one go. I've been through a few women in my time and this is the only one I've ever truly loved and I honestly believe I will be content to spend the rest of my life with her.

Well if that is how you truly feel, than do it. But make sure that those are your real feelings and aren't just saying it to convince yourself to go. This is one of those decisions you make in life that will change your life forever, so make sure you are 100% for it.

Just a question...are you Hispanic? I know that me as a white guy, and living in CA and hearing about all of the major crime, killings, and drug issues going on in Mexico presently, would have a hard time leaving my life here for all that.