Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

madgame's BC attempt nr.2

madgame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2003
Messages
860
Reaction score
1
Ok. Maybe some of you guys read my recent post about my problems (maybe none of you has tho ;-)) and that I'll give the bootcamp another shot, so here I am. It's 7:30PM where I live, but the sun is shining and I'm about to go out to this park type of thing (which belongs to a hospital thats right next to where I live..unfortunately there are no malls or anything around here but that should be a good place to start tho) and hope I can push myself to say hello/hi to at least one person. My goal is to complete a 100 hellos during the next 4 weeks and make it second nature.
 

madgame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2003
Messages
860
Reaction score
1
Just came back and failed miserably today:rolleyes: I didnt have too many chances, though. At first there was this couple walking my way, but I was kinda scared because the guy was kinda mean looking (lol) and well they were two...then I saw this guy sitting on a bench and thought to myself this is the perfect situation for just saying hi and passing him by, but well the guy got up and went away before I was there :D then there were an old lady and her daughter (in her 30s i guess) but too scared again, cause they were two.. then this a bit goofy looking guy came my way (remember its the park of a (mostly?) psychatric hospital (dunno the right expression in english) so u see quite a few goofy looking persons there..though those that are there because they are a menace to other people are behind bars of course) and I thought again: this is it! but then when i was like right before him he gave me a somewhat scared look which spoiled my plans again.

Anyways I'm still going to the gym tonight maybe I'll get myself to say a "neat" hi/hello to a stranger there. I've already said "Sup" or "later" to some people I didnt know in the locker room of the gym just for the hell of it and I'll definetly do that again tonight, but I won't count that, because that would only be cheating myself.

Day one hasn't been too good all in all, but at least I've made a big effort (dont even know how many miles I walked tonight lol) and tried to do what I planned on doing. Tomorrow I'm gonna go there a bit earlier so I'll see a few more people and hopefully I'll be able to get the first hi in...oh and even though I failed today it only made me realize, that it's definetly possible and today just got me more motivated.
 

madgame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2003
Messages
860
Reaction score
1
100 hello's in 4 weeks? I thought it was 50 hellos in 1 week?
Yea, I think it is...but I modified it for my special situation (I hope these rules arent written in stone so I wont get sued ;-) j/k). Actually I really don't care about the number of the hellos. I said to myself I'm gonna do a 100 in 4 weeks, but basically I'm just gonna go out there and try to do it as many times as I need to to become comfortable with it (so I can move on to the next stage). But well I'm still waiting for number 1 :D

I admire your determination. Good luck.
Thanks.
 

Mjfan12

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 22, 2005
Messages
110
Reaction score
0
Age
38
Location
Chicago, IL
Good luck man.

I am also trying the bc, but have already fallen way behind.

But I'll just finish it on my own accord. as long as it gets complete, I'll be satisfied.

Im stuck on the hellos. I felt real good the first day but afterwards my mind began playing tricks on me again. (no im not physcho!lol) but after having a great first day, I keep feeling that people will laugh at me, or I dont look good enough that day, or my hair isnt right, or I dont have a nice watch, or my clothes arent good, or my shoes. or im getting fat (I havent worked out since school ended 2 months ago)

You know, Like my mind is making a billion excuses for me, and that has made me lose a lot of motivation.

But I need to get myself together and move on with this thing.

Good luck. We'll both need some.
 

sexualchocolate

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 23, 2001
Messages
87
Reaction score
0
Age
47
Location
North Carolina
OK everyone who is too nervous to say "hi" to another human being (unless you live up north, i dont think its aloud there) needs to get a retail job.

You are forced to speak to every customer. You have customer service meetings where they teach how to greet. You can watch other savvy salespersons and imitate them.

This is where i broke out of my shell. In the south, everyone says hi. Even people passing driving down the road wave at you. And you've never seen this person in your life.

Ive met how anti social northern girls are. Its like theyre are scared of you if you say hi. Like why are you speaking to me.
I could never live in a place like that. It must be hard to pick up girls where everyone is afraid of each other.
 

One on One

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 7, 2003
Messages
1,172
Reaction score
3
Location
Omnipresent
Yeah I kinda think BC is a waste of time. I tried it once and got bored...weeks 1 and 2 don't help you at all, I mean its not hard to say Hi or smile to someone. I can do that no prob, but can't do a cold approach to save my life so someday I'm gonna focus on cold approaches.
 

Mjfan12

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 22, 2005
Messages
110
Reaction score
0
Age
38
Location
Chicago, IL
Originally posted by sexualchocolate
OK everyone who is too nervous to say "hi" to another human being (unless you live up north, i dont think its aloud there) needs to get a retail job.

You are forced to speak to every customer. You have customer service meetings where they teach how to greet. You can watch other savvy salespersons and imitate them.

This is where i broke out of my shell. In the south, everyone says hi. Even people passing driving down the road wave at you. And you've never seen this person in your life.

Ive met how anti social northern girls are. Its like theyre are scared of you if you say hi. Like why are you speaking to me.
I could never live in a place like that. It must be hard to pick up girls where everyone is afraid of each other.
This is true. People around here hate talking to strangers. theyre scared.

I have never been down south so I dont know how things are there, but southern folk usually are real friendly.

I've had 3 jobs so far and all of them were retail. Talking to customers in that situation isnt hard at all because you are in the perfect environment. people dont get frightened if you talk to them as a worker because youre supposed to meet and greet them.
 

madgame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2003
Messages
860
Reaction score
1
I couldn't report yesterday, because our internet connection wasn't working (got a new contract (?)). And when I tried to report earlier today before I went out, I had written a whole freakin' post and then it said the forum was closed currently or something lol..

Day 2:

Anyways yesterday I finally got myself to say "Hello" to some older guy who was walking with two women around his age (50-60 i guess). The reaction I got wasn't very positive (just a strange look like "we dont know each other why do you greet me?") but that didn't matter too much to me, because the feeling of doing it was great (even if it was nothin but a really small baby step, but I finally got myself to do it and thats what matters to me). When I was talking towards the guy I was constantly changin my opininon like "Yeah Im gonna do it" / "No I cant do it" and then in the situation where I usually would have chickened out I did it and that was just a great relief. I really think it felt somewhat like the feeling I get when I'm trying to approach a chick I dont know (as in..ure not supposed to be doing it because u dont know her...that typical making a big deal of nothing situation...). So anyways I really think this saying hello/hi to strangers will help me decrease my fear of initiating convos with strangers, eventually. (I think if I'll finally be able to say hi to any good looking girl that comes my way (probably more "difficult" :rolleyes: than saying hi to older people) I'll be ready to start initiating convos with older people...and then build my way up to doing that with hot girls).

Day 3:

I missed a few good opportunities today (I think it was especially when the person wasn't looking my way at all..like some people try hard not to look in your face/ignore you when you pass them by) but once I just said hello to some guy and nodded my head like I knew him and another time I was going towards 2 guys and I was ready to say hi (first lol) and like a split second before I could say hi (first) one of the guys said "hello" to ME FIRST, but I still said hello like I had planned on doing and am sure I would have said it if the guy hadn't said anything. So I'll definetly count this one, too.

Days: 3
Hi's: 3







Good luck man.

I am also trying the bc, but have already fallen way behind.

But I'll just finish it on my own accord. as long as it gets complete, I'll be satisfied.

Im stuck on the hellos. I felt real good the first day but afterwards my mind began playing tricks on me again. (no im not physcho!lol) but after having a great first day, I keep feeling that people will laugh at me, or I dont look good enough that day, or my hair isnt right, or I dont have a nice watch, or my clothes arent good, or my shoes. or im getting fat (I havent worked out since school ended 2 months ago)

You know, Like my mind is making a billion excuses for me, and that has made me lose a lot of motivation.

But I need to get myself together and move on with this thing.

Good luck. We'll both need some.
Good luck to you too man. Actually even though I think I've a very hard time doing the bootcamp, my mind is not making up such things. Because I feel like it doesn't really matter what ppl think of me after saying "hi" to them because I don't plan on seeing them again anyways ;-) (though I know some of them will probably think why the hell does he greet me..never seen him before..wtf...like the first guy I said hello too I guess..but that doesnt bother me too much). What really helped me was going to this park (which belongs to a hospital but its still something like a park) because I can just walk there and when somebody's coming my way they're the only one(s) that are coming my way and it feels a bit more normal to just greet them to me...because it's like there's this really long way and there's only you and them..just like u'd meet another human being on mars..I guess you would greet them (to exaggerate extremely ;-)). I mean..I think saying hello to some person would be harder if you're in downtown with a crowd of people. Like today I chickened out one time which seemed perfect because right next to where I was gonna greet the guy there were two people sunbathing..if they hadnt been there I hadnt chickened out (but I'm sure I'll be able to get a grip on that, too).


Yeah I kinda think BC is a waste of time. I tried it once and got bored...weeks 1 and 2 don't help you at all, I mean its not hard to say Hi or smile to someone. I can do that no prob, but can't do a cold approach to save my life so someday I'm gonna focus on cold approaches.
I think you're probably just not as introvert/shy as a lot of people doing the bootcamp...because if you can easily say "hi" or smile to any stranger you're already ahead of us and already set for week 3(?) so you have to start doing cold approaches. I guess starting to do so with older people could really help you. I feel like that's gonna be a whole lot easier than approaching a girl like there's just a lot less pressure on you (which is silly and fascinating at once to me lol).

Btw, I dont fully remember how the bootcamp was done. Can somebody sum it up for me real quick please? (I had read it before and everything but im a bit confused now). I think you have to say hi to 50 people in week 1, then make 50 conversations in week 2, right? but how does it continue. Doing 50 number closes or well 50 obvious cold approaches? And what's up with the smiling part. Is week 1 actually not saying hi to strangers but just smiling to them?

Anyways, I hope doing this thread will put enough pressure on me so I'll really be able to pull it off, because when I'm older I don't wanna look back at my life and be like I missed out on so much stuff in my youth because I just wasn't able to do that and think to myself Id love to be that young again and change that (I've had quite a few ppl tell me such stuff and I guess that's really something that'll keep me motivated, because I just don't wanna feel like I missed out on so much, because I "lost")
 

Spartan

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 14, 2005
Messages
20
Reaction score
0
Location
Good question
Good luck Madgame.

Personally, if you want a bit of field practice make up a questionaire about something - dating for a dating company, sales, etc, you get the picture.

Attach the questionairs to a clp board and go out meet people that way. It is just as hard as saying hello to a total stranger but it gets you a lot of practice doing cold approaches and it does not make you look or feel odd.

This isn't my idea by the way. I saw a show on Sky One about guys who are shy meeting girls and this natural DJ got him to do this exercise. The guy had a lot of confidence coming out of it and this was in the UK, were women get freaky about cold approaches.

Anyway, good luck out there.
 

madgame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2003
Messages
860
Reaction score
1
Thanks. Actually I'm looking for a job right now, because I hardly have enough money to move out and live a decent life while going to college, but I never really did these kind of jobs, because I thought Id be SO uncomfortable doing them. But actually, maybe I'll try and get such a job if I'm through all this hello stuff and still don't feel ready to do cold approaches. Or well maybe I'll feel ready and THEN do it :D . Actually the idea is really good especially if I should fail to be able to do cold approaches without such a reason, but still wanted to meet girls (and I dunno what it is, but I think approaching at a club is actually harder than it'd be on the street..though Ive done it (very) few times before..but I was only capable of doing that cause I was tipsy and I dont wanna have to depend on alcohol for doing that anyways).
 

madgame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2003
Messages
860
Reaction score
1
It's almost 8 AM now..I have a fairly strange sleeping routine at the moment, because I have to study for a test really bad and can't study when everybody in my house is up..so I'm studying at night..but right afterwards I'll change my sleeping pattern again, cause it does kinda suck.

Anyways, I thought to myself..hmm you have to do so much stuff tomorrow, how about going out now, in the morning and greeting a couple of people that come your way, so you can have a rest day tomorrow. I went out walked to and through my favorite park for half an hour and said "Good Morning" to 5 people, only one 'missed opportunity', but that was because the guy was sitting on a bench and looking the opposite direction so I thought to myself that'd be a bit strange..but I guess next time this guy won't be able to escape me either ;) Anyways I have to say I noticed going out and doing this in the early morning when everybody just got up and saying "Good Morning" instead of "Hi/Hello" does seem to be a bit easier (because it seems like you have a little bit more of a reason to greet them), but anyways I'll count these 5 "good mornings" as Hi's because it definetly helped me get used to doing this and next time I'll try to do like 10 hellos if I pass enough ppl by..I can really see how this is starting to get second nature and how it'll help me do cold approaches (at least on some older people..but when I'm done doing that the next baby step will follow).

I have to study for another half hour now and then I'm going to sleep. Oh and though I'm not going to go out on the purpose of saying hello to people in any park or anything I hope I can still get one or two more in.

Still Day 3, Hi's: 8
 

madgame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2003
Messages
860
Reaction score
1
On thursday I took a short break like I had said before, but unfortunately I did the same yesterday, because I have a lot of studying to do and went out tonight. Anyways I just went to the park again, but there were hardly any people (even way less than normally at that...probably because it's saturday. Anyways I have to say taking a break for 2 days wasn't exactly a good idea and in order to become "proficient"at saying hi/hello to every stranger (or well especially hot chick) that comes my way, I still have quite some work to do. I'm gonna try do get the 100 hi's in as quickly as possible, though, because I feel like the more time u take between all those hi's the less of a confidence boost it is.. I hope I can do about 10 tomorrow.

Day 6: Hi's: 11
 

madgame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2003
Messages
860
Reaction score
1
Things didn't work out the way I had wanted them to, today. I went to that park again and didn't meet one sinlge person for what seemed like an eternity (except for some mean/strange looking guys who were sitting on tables a few meters from the path i was walking...I really didnt feel like shouting hello to them..). Anyways after like half an hour I finally found 2 persons who I said hi to (one guy sitting on a bench reading or something and one guy walking towards me)..but I was kinda dissapointed so I walked through my neighborhood for another 20 mins or so and said Hello to another 2 people. It still feels somewhat strange and Im still not comfortable enough doing it, but the main difference between now and day 1 (monday) is, that I actually DO it and even though im not that comfortable doing it yet. All in all, I have to say I'm satisfied with this week..but Im definetly gonna have to look for other places where I can meet more people. I cant do that stuff all day long at the moment, because I have like the most important test of my life in about 10 days, but when I passed that test, Im gonna go out for like a whole day or maybe mulitple times a day and try to greet at least 20 Hellos..rather 50 or so...cause if I can do that, I know im actually comfortable enough doing it and can start doing cold approaches.

Day 7, Hi's: 12
 

Ever onward

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 11, 2004
Messages
968
Reaction score
3
Hey madgame. Great work so far, you should be proud of yourself. It will get easier and it will become really fun if you work at it and follow through with it.

Here is a link to a F.A.Q. I wrote about Bootcamp week #1 (which is the "say hi week" so it should help you out). I am extremely experienced with the first week of bootcamp so I think the thread will really help you out. Also a lot of other people contributed some great replies so check out their responses.

Good luck

DJ Bootcamp Week #1 F.A.Q.
 

madgame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2003
Messages
860
Reaction score
1
Thanks man. I'll check it out.

This week hasn't started out too well, but it was okay I guess. I had to go to the doctor's to get a medical certificate for school which had me kinda stressed out plus I have so much studying to do that I dont have enough time to go out there as much as I want to (it'll be over on wednesday next week though!).

Anyways on monday it was raining like crazy so I didnt go outside and decided to go outside on tuesdy morning which I did, but unfortunately not too many people around so I only got one hi with a positive reaction from the person though (smiling and saying hello back). An hour ago I went outside again for half an hour, but in the park where I used to go to all the time I didnt pass any good target, plus I was starting to feel awkward, because I keep seeing the same people there and they probably consider me a strange patient at that hospital who always walks around in that park and walks the same paths like 3 or 4 times in 1 hour :D so I just went trhough that park once and felt like **** because of not getting one single "hi", but then I'm walking back to my house and see this really cute girl/woman walking my way..so Im thinking "Am I gonna say hello?" "Am I gonna say hi?" "Am I gonna say anything?" estimating her age and everything but then she gives me a little smile and looks away and I just say "Hi" without really wondering what to do anymore Felt like my brain has really been reprogrammed (?) in a certain way..like all of a sudden its not that big of a deal to say hi to strangers anymore. And what I thought was the best part of it is the fact, that this was the first GIRL (not senior citizen or man/woman in their 40s) I greeted, plus she was a girl I'd definetly consider dating lookswise (I'd say HB7-8) and it was the first time I didn't say "Hello" or "Good Morning" but "Hi"....oh and actually I thought that was easier than saying hello to random people my parent's age. So well..only got 2 Hi's today, but at least one of them really helped. Oh I said hi to some neighbor who Ive only greeted once in my life I guess and he wouldnt have greeted me if I hadnt said anything but I wont cheat on myself and count that one.

Day 9: Hi's: 14

P.S.: Like I said from next week thursday when my exams are over I'm gonna try to be a lot more "agressive" :D ..and go outside for more than an hour a day...and I definetly need to check out new spots, cause that park gets kinda boring because u never really meet people there (however Im probably gonna go back there when I start doing convos because there are a lot of lonely people and senior citizens who I'll have an easier time talking to when I start this convo thing....oh and I think I need to focus more on wondering how I could have made a convo and what I could have said to the people I only passed and said hi. I do that sometimes but I need to focus on it more so Ill know what to do when I finally start the convos.
 

madgame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2003
Messages
860
Reaction score
1
did another 2 on day 9, because I had to go to the post office, so I parked at a parking lot like half a mile from the post office said "good morning" to some lady whose reaction kinda fazed me, because by her simply surprised/shocked recation she made me realize, that it isn't such a normal thing to greet somebody you've never seen before when everybody in this world just keeps passing people who come their way, trying hard to look in a different reaction or on the ground. However just a few minutes later I said "hello" to that senior citizen.

Notes: This might sound crazy to some of you guys, but actually I guess I have less of a problem greeting HBs (though I've only done it once..so I dont know for a fact) than greeting other "average" people. Especially if it's guys. I mean it's very easy to greet senior citizens, but when I say hi to a girl it feels just like "well she knows I said hi to her cause I think she's cute". When I greet some (not too friendly looking) man in his 30s or 40s, it's like there's no point in greeting this dude, maybe he even thinks I'm gay now lol..but then again the goal of this exercise is reducing this whole "what do other people think about me?" thing...and I've improved a lot at that, I guess.

Plus, I think the word "hello" isn't as easy to say as "hi". And hello is what I usually say to older people, hi to people my age. Actually sometimes I feel kinda awkward pronouncing the word hello to people I know..not so awkward that it would faze me or anything, but I do lol.

Day 9: 16
 

isotope

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 10, 2003
Messages
238
Reaction score
0
Location
Gville, Florida
yeah lol i think that too

i dont like to say hi to guys because i know theyre thinking "is he gay? WTF is he talking to me for?"


but bear in mind that is THEIR PROBLEM, not yours. you are just being friendly

we live in a closed, isolated society where people stick with their small, little cliques and never reach out, never open up and never embrace new, random friends (well, rarely)

but that is all their problem for being part of that sucky system. Thats not a good way for society to be.

so next time someone gives you a dirty look for saying hi, ignore them because think of it this way, you are trying to tear down the walls of society and build a more friendly, open place
 

madgame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2003
Messages
860
Reaction score
1
Day 10: was studying all day and working out, so the only time I went outside was when I went to the gym where I greeted an old lady who seemed to be happy and greeted me back. So it's 17 His now. I'm gonna keep just going out for short periods of time and get in a few his (as much as possible though) until next wednesday until I finally passed my exam and then I'ma go out A LOT more each day for the rest of the week and want to get some 2 digit Hi-#, so I can finally move on. I think I'm not gonna do a 100 His instead of 50 like I originally planned to, but I'm gonna do 50 like anyone else, as I didn't really know that you should continue saying His throughout the other weeks (had read the bootcamp instructions a long time ago before reading them again a couple of days ago) and I feel like if I'm going to do (a lot) more than 50, it'll just be procrastinating because I'm somewhat afraid of starting with convos, so I should do that after 50 Hi's. If I still don't feel comfortable enough with 50 I'll do a 100, though, but I guess 50 will do.

@isotope: thx for the advice.
 
Top